Aspies are often described as unfriendly, yet we (reportedly) have the unique ability to be friendly with everyone regardless of physical characteristics such as age or color. So why are we perceived as being so unfriendly?
The Early Morning Aspie-Initiated Hello
In the morning as I stroll through my office to get a cup of coffee, there are always a lot of people with their heads down doing work, looking for things or otherwise engaged in activities. Interrupting them to say "Good Morning" makes no sense to me.
In any case, how do I know if it's good? and don't they already know that it's morning? Usually, I'll truncate my "sayings" to Hello, or Morning, and even then, I'll say it very quietly.
I just don't get it you see. Half of the people in my office will ask me a work-related question at some point during the day and I'll often greet them with a "hello" then. The other half usually don't ask for help and can probably go months without saying anything to me - so why would I need to have said "Hello" to them every day? Like I said, I don't get it - and I don't feel that I know what hello means in a modern context anyway.
I have a non-bothersome rule in place for these sorts of encounters. If I walk past someone and they look up at me, I'll say "hello" but if they keep their head down, then I'll just keep walking and let them get on with their work.
The Hello Response
The other thing that happens in mornings at the office is that people walk past and say "Good Morning Gavin!". I'm usually stuck for words - even though it happens every day. I'll often respond with a quiet "Hi" or "hello", sometimes even a "Good Morning" but it's very very rare that I'll say good morning followed by their name.
Why no names? Well, much has been said about the long term aspie memory but there are some serious problems with short-term retrieval. It takes a few seconds to get people's names out and sometimes they won't come out at all. I'm so used to avoiding the issue by not saying the name that I do it automatically.
Of course, there's also that voice in the back of my mind saying - "you can't simply repeat what they're saying with their name on the end". Possibly you can, but to me, that's not individualistic enough.
So, if there's an aspie ignoring your greetings at work, try talking about something without any introductions. You'll probably get a much better response.