tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post1680343322393958293..comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Comments on Life with Aspergers: So... Your Child has Aspergers / Autism - Part 1Gavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-79639371242012434662015-01-07T06:43:03.503+11:002015-01-07T06:43:03.503+11:00Thanks Gavin. As usual, good commentaries on your...Thanks Gavin. As usual, good commentaries on your blog as well. <br /><br />You mentioned: "Don't hide the fact that your child has got aspergers from professionals who need to know."<br /><br />I would highlight that circumstances change as one gets older and once one is in the workplace, people in positions of authority are not necessarily your advocates. So, IMVHO, one should only disseminate this knowledge with much care, because it can be used against you. Only those who are very very trusted should know of one's condition, and even there, perhaps a better judge of character of who should be trusted would be someone who has proven to be tried and true with your trust because often times we are not the best judges of character at first glance. <br /><br />As you might imagine, I was once tricked by a co-worker who gained my confidence and then that knowledge was used against me at a later time thereby impacting my career. <br /><br />It's a touchy situation. Same as "reasonable accommodations" in the workplace can be extremely touchy and many may view it as preferential treatment. Especially if one can dissimulate their condition for the most part. <br /><br />Hahaha on the mild firm of it. It's like being slightly pregnant. I also enjoy hearing people talking about having a mild version of something definitive, or a severe version of something mild. Especially enjoy people talking about having "borderline" Aspergers, not knowing that the term<br />"Borderline" is used for yet another condition with which they may not wish to be associated, especially given their penchant to attempt to minimize how they might be viewed. 😆<br /><br />Regarding the term "disorder", I would prefer "condition", because though in some areas I may "not be all there", in other areas I may be more "there" than most people would aspire to be. <br /><br />It kind of averages out, it seems. We just seem to have more accentuated peaks as well as valleys. Miguel Palaciohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02311154354365423829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-61602087004817308032013-12-22T16:58:00.162+11:002013-12-22T16:58:00.162+11:00I wad diagnosed at age 32 , only after my son was ...I wad diagnosed at age 32 , only after my son was diagnosed and my wife and i agreed to a genetic study trying to corelate the passing of as through generations. I always knew. The doctors were shocked id slipped through the cracks" i keep my mouth shut and dont let anyone know i read atlas's like harry potter books" i cant small talk, its painful. It almost pysically hurts, but if you would like a lecture on henry the 5th and his life, im your man. I get on alright with my son cause i understand him , he aint never going to change, so leave him alone. Christmas is hard for the both if us we hate touching and the socailizing part. Why do people even talk to each other? . Picture your own life and mines basically the same, so why all the questions? . Just leave me the fuck alone to daydream about maps.<br />My wife and i make it work , she is my portal to the world and i actually really like her, even if i cant look her in the eye. Lastly , music is the only way i feel strong emotion, i could watch a child getting born and think that it was interesting but then bono could have me in tears . Like my wife says' were pretty funny dudes' .Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00673017257084677083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-9829446622752474072013-05-02T11:49:31.691+10:002013-05-02T11:49:31.691+10:00I am parent of an aspergers child. He is turning 9...I am parent of an aspergers child. He is turning 9 next month. He was diagnosed at age 4. Up until about a year or so ago the behaviors never really presented an issue. Over the past 2 months I have committed myself to learning as much as humanly possible about what resources are availableban essential to his development. Im so angry at myself for thinking that I could count on the school district and dr's to guide me. However, I was dead wrong!!!! Nobody offered anything! Luckily, I have been on a mission due to finally realizing how much is available and the ONLY way my son is going to benefit is if I and I alone fight for him. I would like to balme everyone else but bottom line, its my job and responsibility as a parent of a child sith special needs to educate myself and fight fight fight. One of the hardest things is that even after 5yrs of having a diagnosis and services my sons father is still in denial. And because he is in denial obviously he doesnt have any knowledge of Aspergers nor implement any of the "therapies" or modifications that take place at school as well as hede at home. Right now my son spends 50% of his time with hia dad and I can see how the denial is impacting his ability to conquer his "issues" (I hate using that term, but im sure you all know what i mean). I have exhausted all financial resources to go for sole custody of my son based on the fact that dad is in denial and everything that goes along with it. I still want my son to spend time with hiss dad, although it must be limited. At least until he (if he ever) comes on board. I have been the sole advocate since my son was 2 and first noticed that something was different. Now I am facing 2 huge battles simultaneously. On top of working full time, caring for another child (2yrs), a husband and a home. It would be realy helpful to hear some feedback either from thoze who may share similar experiences and have some words of wisdome and or professional expertise on the effects thT dads denial has on our son. Needless to metion the amount of time and energy it requires from the single parent doing all of this aloneNCTThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11990952928427483973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-50643373216300505982013-05-02T11:48:19.880+10:002013-05-02T11:48:19.880+10:00I am parent of an aspergers child. He is turning 9...I am parent of an aspergers child. He is turning 9 next month. He was diagnosed at age 4. Up until about a year or so ago the behaviors never really presented an issue. Over the past 2 months I have committed myself to learning as much as humanly possible about what resources are availableban essential to his development. Im so angry at myself for thinking that I could count on the school district and dr's to guide me. However, I was dead wrong!!!! Nobody offered anything! Luckily, I have been on a mission due to finally realizing how much is available and the ONLY way my son is going to benefit is if I and I alone fight for him. I would like to balme everyone else but bottom line, its my job and responsibility as a parent of a child sith special needs to educate myself and fight fight fight. One of the hardest things is that even after 5yrs of having a diagnosis and services my sons father is still in denial. And because he is in denial obviously he doesnt have any knowledge of Aspergers nor implement any of the "therapies" or modifications that take place at school as well as hede at home. Right now my son spends 50% of his time with hia dad and I can see how the denial is impacting his ability to conquer his "issues" (I hate using that term, but im sure you all know what i mean). I have exhausted all financial resources to go for sole custody of my son based on the fact that dad is in denial and everything that goes along with it. I still want my son to spend time with hiss dad, although it must be limited. At least until he (if he ever) comes on board. I have been the sole advocate since my son was 2 and first noticed that something was different. Now I am facing 2 huge battles simultaneously. On top of working full time, caring for another child (2yrs), a husband and a home. It would be realy helpful to hear some feedback either from thoze who may share similar experiences and have some words of wisdome and or professional expertise on the effects thT dads denial has on our son. Needless to metion the amount of time and energy it requires from the single parent doing all of this aloneNCTThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11990952928427483973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-89683240883895378622013-02-25T11:06:01.176+11:002013-02-25T11:06:01.176+11:00Great advice and tips. Parents need to know that m...Great advice and tips. Parents need to know that maintaining level-headedness around their kids' diagnosis and "label" is the best policy. So many extremists get parents very upset or dissatisfied with others' best efforts - your blog post is such a steadying influence. I'll recommend it to any parents of Asperger's kids who cross my path!Murfomurfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12975382358013125434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-6509969159901854512012-07-08T09:51:44.586+10:002012-07-08T09:51:44.586+10:00We just received our 7 year old sons diagnosis yes...We just received our 7 year old sons diagnosis yesterday. Thank you so much for posting this, it is incredible helpful to have so much encouragement.Stepheniehttp://raisingaaspiekid.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-89163721305980462222012-02-27T02:28:53.180+11:002012-02-27T02:28:53.180+11:00Great post Gavin! It can be very over whelming wh...Great post Gavin! It can be very over whelming when you first receive your child's diagnosis, but you've provided some very sage advice.<br /><br />I can't wait to read Part II!Joannehttp://www.asdhelp.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-28682402658847811862010-10-15T10:41:14.210+11:002010-10-15T10:41:14.210+11:00Kmarie,
Because Aspergers is a "neurological...Kmarie,<br /><br />Because Aspergers is a "neurological difference", you either have it or you don't. There are no shades of grey.<br /><br />The concept of "borderline aspergers" comes from the idea that people cope with their differences better or worse depending upon external factors.<br /><br />For example; take two children who are essentially the same. Give one a whole lot of early intervention, make sure that their family is accepting of their differences, give them social practice and experience (eg: scouts and acting) and surround them with a group of understanding friends.<br /><br />Give the other child exactly the opposite.<br /><br />Neither has a worse condition than the other but they will cope at different levels to each other.<br /><br />Of course, it's more than just environmental factors, the co-conditions come into play too. If one child has Anxiety+OCD and the other has ADHD+NVLD, the first child will have an automatic advantage over the second despite the fact that he too has conditions. <br /><br />You didn't mention your son's age but since you did mention anxiety and social skills, it makes sense that these are the places you need to start with. It doesn't matter whether or not your child gets a formal label (except for funding purposes), the main thing is to ensure that he has appropriate early intervention to counter his issues.<br /><br />If necessary, seek assistance from groups outside the school. Tutors and after-school activities will help in this regard.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-41193987835464622552010-10-15T10:17:47.975+11:002010-10-15T10:17:47.975+11:00Question:
My son tested two points below qualifyin...Question:<br />My son tested two points below qualifying for AS. They can't continue any more testing for two years until he is older. He scored extremely high for social anxiety, extremely low for adaptability, low on social skills...I read tony Attwoods book on AS and it really hit home and described him completely He also has high sensory overload. Is there really not such a thing as mild AS or borderline? I just feel like he finally makes sense and this explains so much but everyone I know is trying to make me not"label" my overly smart son. They say it is just that he is exceptionally bright which makes him intense.<br />Do you have any thoughts on borderline?Kmariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12947797743800775255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-32797759045603303902010-09-21T14:37:42.542+10:002010-09-21T14:37:42.542+10:00I loved your post! My son is being evaluated tomor...I loved your post! My son is being evaluated tomorrow. He has already been diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD. My son is 8 and does not have one particular obsessive interest but obsesses on many differnt things. I have had many friends ask what his special interest is, when I tell them many different things they look at me like I am nuts! It hurts sometimes.Kristinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-22636656428295275742010-06-08T05:02:32.930+10:002010-06-08T05:02:32.930+10:00Sup all, great website I have found It very accom...Sup all, great website I have found It very accommodating & it's helped me a great deal<br />I hope to be able to contribute and support other people like this forum has helped me<br /><br />_________________<br />[url=http://iphoneusers.com]unlock iphone 4.0[/url]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-12240535485399833932010-05-31T16:14:51.021+10:002010-05-31T16:14:51.021+10:00Ann,
Glad you like the blog.
Nobody needs to ask...Ann,<br /><br />Glad you like the blog.<br /><br />Nobody needs to ask my permission to link me anywhere. I'm happy to be linked because it's really all about getting positive information out there.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-12621304736022723422010-05-31T16:10:12.817+10:002010-05-31T16:10:12.817+10:00Gavin, many thanks for this. Good to see positive...Gavin, many thanks for this. Good to see positive and sensible information about us out there.<br />Your thoughts on "mild" are very refreshing. For so long people had entirely incorrect information about the 'mildness' of autism spectrum conditions. If there's a diagnosis, there is no 'mild'. There's only "well disguised for a while whilst people are looking, at huge effort to us".<br /><br />Mind if I link your blog to my website? http://annmemmott.org.ukAnn Memmottnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-39557748698643085152010-05-28T12:45:08.012+10:002010-05-28T12:45:08.012+10:00Thanks Gavin this is a great post and I agree with...Thanks Gavin this is a great post and I agree with all those myths, it can be very frustrating when you come across those.<br />I hope you don't mind if I add a link to your blog on my website as it is very good and one that I would recommend to my readers.Sherylhttp://my-beautiful-boy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-34156830721596923842010-05-21T11:36:22.104+10:002010-05-21T11:36:22.104+10:00thanks gavin - i am sharing this post with my (asp...thanks gavin - i am sharing this post with my (aspie & NT) friends who have aspie children...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-53201308764341594802010-05-20T23:50:01.817+10:002010-05-20T23:50:01.817+10:00Wonderful post, Gavin! Looking forward to the next...Wonderful post, Gavin! Looking forward to the next installment.Rachel Cohen-Rottenberghttp://www.journeyswithautism.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-15750652423448244452010-05-20T15:39:11.623+10:002010-05-20T15:39:11.623+10:00Loved this Gavin. Once your series is complete I&#...Loved this Gavin. Once your series is complete I'm going to add it to the list of resources I recommend for newly diagnosed families in my yahoo groups. This will help a lot of people :)<br /><br />Caitlin<br />www.welcome-to-normal.comCaitlin Wrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06683662224096157734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-78126431473219168172010-05-20T12:11:58.906+10:002010-05-20T12:11:58.906+10:00I too struggled with the same thing. I looked for ...I too struggled with the same thing. I looked for a doctor to dx my son not having aspergers or now autism. My first blog (Our family vs autism) was about accepting Cody for who he is. He is not broken. He's Cody first. It took four years to come to this conclusion but I made it. I'm open about Cody s condition, and I don't apologize if he's not what people want him to be.<br />Thanks Gavin. I will be following you. Nice to great advice and reassurance parents and friends need to hear.Cody s momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01158993528151952724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-61921024282824101092010-05-19T09:24:40.789+10:002010-05-19T09:24:40.789+10:00Hi Stacey,
If you have a look at the DSM IV diagn...Hi Stacey,<br /><br />If you have a look at the DSM IV diagnostic criteria for aspergers;<br /><br />There's a copy <a href="http://www.aspergers.com/aspcrit.htm" rel="nofollow">here</a>.<br /><br />You'll find that it says <br /><br />A.Qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:<br /><br />It gives FOUR options but you only need to meet TWO.<br /><br />AND<br /><br />B.Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and activities, as manifested by at least one of the following:<br /><br />It gives four Options but this time you only need to match ONE.<br /><br />There's also a huge amount of information on the web, including quite a bit on my blog, which probably gives the impression that all aspies display certain characteristics. They dont.<br /><br />Beyond the DSM, there's nothing else that is certain.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-72376363677554362252010-05-19T07:47:56.279+10:002010-05-19T07:47:56.279+10:00thank you for this post.
Is it true that not eve...thank you for this post. <br /><br />Is it true that not every condition or symptom of Asperger's need to be present to be diagnosed with Asperger's? When my son was tested, he met all the criteria except for senses sensitivity. I think the test said he had to have some issue with that to be considered Asperger's. <br /><br />He's 18 now, and like you said, some symptoms are more pronounced now that he's older (I think more is expected of him now which makes these issues seem bigger.) His greatest struggle now is doing something new on his own. He literally doesn't know what to do unless I tell him step by step. It frustrates me and makes me sad.<br /><br />He has so many gifts, though, and he's one of my most favorite people in the world!Staceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362018153534133671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-75796163079905155342010-05-19T03:36:53.297+10:002010-05-19T03:36:53.297+10:00Thanks for the great post. I'm new to the blog...Thanks for the great post. I'm new to the blogging world and I'm not yet familiar with the etiquette, so I'll ask: can I use your post on my blog (giving you credit as the author obviously)?<br /><br />Thank you for creating this blog! All the best to you and your family!Leanne Neufeldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00422511668779453684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-72759559606438078072010-05-19T02:43:13.914+10:002010-05-19T02:43:13.914+10:00Good article. I like that you point out that not e...Good article. I like that you point out that not every person will meet every requirement of a diagnosis. I prefer to use the term ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) as a label but part of the reason for that is that I have a hard time relating to the one subject obsession requirement for Aspergers. The same is true for my son. We have many autism traits but an obsession of one topic does not apply to us. There have been a few people who upon hearing about our Aspergers, immediately ask," What is your interest/obsession?" And when I don't have an answer I can just see on their face that they immediatly disregard our Aspergers. Like it's not real.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06001020811877167957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-2906696319431941132010-05-18T15:27:00.143+10:002010-05-18T15:27:00.143+10:00Hi Gavin!
You are such a wonderful advocate both a...Hi Gavin!<br />You are such a wonderful advocate both as a person with Aspergers and as a parent to a child on the spectrum.<br /><br />I'm going to ask John to check out your most recent postings as well!<br /><br />Thank you for all you do in giving of yourself to the autism community!<br /><br />KarenKaren K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12070155720984904534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-82850841685703456362010-05-18T14:10:07.621+10:002010-05-18T14:10:07.621+10:00This is a really great post! Our family thinks al...This is a really great post! Our family thinks along similar lines. Thank you for the list of myth-busters. I am looking forward to part 2!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16484931572676431046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-3767840300447521632010-05-18T10:55:13.559+10:002010-05-18T10:55:13.559+10:00Great post. I struggle the most with my son when ...Great post. I struggle the most with my son when he is stuck with a harmful idea in his head (ie- I caused us to lose the game, I'm the worst player on the team, everyone hates me) and he cannot be convinced otherwise. No matter how many different ways there are to explain the problem in a different light he refuses to accept it.Foursonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07470306593323990269noreply@blogger.com