tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post2343987468458125337..comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Comments on Life with Aspergers: On Aspie CourtshipGavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-83459296400672431112012-04-22T08:04:29.583+10:002012-04-22T08:04:29.583+10:00I agree with Meredith. I was put in a Behavior Box...I agree with Meredith. I was put in a Behavior Box in high school, Marine Corps and college. Only now that I am diagnosed can I see what is going on. I see social behavior as a flow chart. They do this, I do that. They say this, I say that. Smile, nod, smile again.<br /><br />-PoeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-28086284505176123512012-04-22T08:02:31.822+10:002012-04-22T08:02:31.822+10:00I agree with Meredith. Pre-High School I was fun a...I agree with Meredith. Pre-High School I was fun and talkative and high energy but in high school, Marine Corps and college I was forced into a behavior box and like you mentioned what I could do or how I should behave was endlessly repeated to me to the point I made a long list of rules as to my "public" behavior. Only when I was alone did I venture out of the behavior box. I see my behavior as a pattern. They say this I repeat that. They do this I do that. Smile, nod agree, smile again. Like a flow chart. I am fine unless someone talks the conversation to unfamiliar territory. I have my default "Oh, Really!" or "You bet." to try and hold them at bay till I can escape.<br />One thing I do is live in ear plugs. Work ear plugs, sleeping ear plugs, church ear plugs and for those loud stores I where heavy duty ear plugs and driving sun glasses that get darker the further up the lens it goes. I can still read packages, menus and such but ceiling lights are dimmed. <br /><br />-PoeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-31032849948243682002010-01-17T06:03:10.886+11:002010-01-17T06:03:10.886+11:00I didn't know that I should bring a cake to lu...I didn't know that I should bring a cake to lunch. Oops.midwestcoasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10957258389069692055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-4201969125957106022008-04-16T01:54:00.000+10:002008-04-16T01:54:00.000+10:00I can also relate to it...now. But I started out a...I can also relate to it...now. But I started out as quite the opposite of shy, and before I was 15-16 I was very aggressive, even violent - especially when detected intrusion to my personal space or someone halted the flow of thought I was swimming with at the moment. Then I made a 180° turnaround and became anxious and self-loathing - probably due to "assertive parenting" and, even more likely, authoritative teachers (I was transferred into a new school back then). It became a kind of unconscious rule to me in this form: "you must not have a will of your own", though it was (and is) very painful at times (though it was useful by now as all I had to do at school and at home is to shut up, wait for instructions and obey; but now I'm going to university and have to unlearn this to be a little more independent). So my conclusion is that the "shyness" you mention is not always an inherent Aspie trait, but some kind of learned strategy or rule which one has to lean on in order to survive in a hostile environment.<BR/><BR/>Also, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Yd8E-IlVw this video link; it's not "scientifically accurate" but provides a great core idea for identifying and accepting Aspies of all kinds. (Though I don't quite get what the Spielberg one is about; it sounds like an NT.) (BTW, I'm a Morrissey/Nicholls according to this.)macskadékhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11665678181173411914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-10665016554531677192008-04-14T05:52:00.000+10:002008-04-14T05:52:00.000+10:00I can definitely relate to this. My husband was as...I can definitely relate to this. My husband was astounded when he met me that I was totally unaware that just about every unmarried man at work wanted to go out with me. He couldn't believe his luck when he realised that I wasn't committed elsewhere. I had no idea that I was so popular, after all nobody had explicitly told me and I had ignored all their attempts to get to know me better due to not picking up on the social cues. I need to be told explicitly the rules and what to look for. <BR/><BR/>My son and I discuss the things to look for and how to respond hopefully, he'll find things easier than I did.Inspiration Alleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15029359986277721546noreply@blogger.com