tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post8913641254522225120..comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Comments on Life with Aspergers: Change Resistance and MeGavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-47619485409440655622009-09-06T20:07:32.817+10:002009-09-06T20:07:32.817+10:00I detest change, I detest surprises!
I have my own...I detest change, I detest surprises!<br />I have my own ordered world where everything has it's place. If anything is disrupted then I cannot cope.<br /><br />I postpone everything to the last minute but I feel that is because I am a perfectionist and everything has to be detailed and precise to my specifications. Most of my life has been studying and the thought of leaving university is frightening because I cannot handle the 'change.'<br /><br />btw... I have comorbid bipolar spectrum disorder.Miss Patricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00457305765751676688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-48631831838287971052009-08-25T17:10:37.792+10:002009-08-25T17:10:37.792+10:00I recognise myself so much in this post specifical...I recognise myself so much in this post specifically the pattern breaking. <br /><br />In the UK and Ireland, most DVD publishers will print the same sleeves for their releases, featuring both the ratings for the UK and Ireland (UK in red, Ireland in a blue circle). However a pattern breaks when the classification between countries differs and the DVD for example, is a "12" in the UK and a "15" in Ireland, in which case two sleeves will be produced and which ever one you buy will have only one rating, which a lot of the time means that the text size and spaces between logos, company name, anti-piracy-holograms is changed to expand to cover the space left. Which means if you have a collection of DVD, say the entire James Bond franchise, the spines look very inconsistent. <br /><br />My special interest involves collecting CDS and cassettes etc by my faveourite band Garbage from around the world. I have learned to cope with inconsistencies between different record labels and territories, but certain regional differences really irk me. Parental Advisory labels printed onto CD album booklets annoy me no end (usually American releases, for UK artists its usually a sticker that is peeled off) or the FBI Warnign logo on the sides of the artwork. When I first bought an American pressed CD single, it was in a thick album style jewel case, and not a thin slimline one like UK and Europe generally use. That irritated me for about 2 years until I bought some more American releases and had a set which were consistent with each other, even outwith the whole collection.Paul Andersonhttp://twitter.com/acerejectnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-32193342145761223342009-08-16T17:49:43.330+10:002009-08-16T17:49:43.330+10:00I have no issues with firefox. I run default setti...I have no issues with firefox. I run default settings.<br /><br />An update on my yoghurt "test". I want from 12 spoons per sitting to 3 because I choose to an not because I am compelled to.<br /><br />Wasn't a fun lesson but I got there.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02396278102870847266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-30586313146463847292009-08-14T05:26:53.145+10:002009-08-14T05:26:53.145+10:00Software: Firefox!
I do NOT like the things they&#...Software: Firefox!<br />I do NOT like the things they've changed from v2 to v3.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-42546633421056130912009-08-10T22:46:52.883+10:002009-08-10T22:46:52.883+10:00That's one thing that I think family, especial...That's one thing that I think family, especially kids, has been good for. At some point I HAD to give up my inflexibility regarding patterns and household order, or go insane. Not that these things don't bother me; they do. But I've consciously chosen not to dwell on them for as long as my kids are little. Or maybe as long as they're living at home. Ack. :-)<br /><br />Sometimes, of course, I snap (as I did last night in the Cheese Freakout moment, when I took my husband to task for buying the "wrong" brand of cheese), and sometimes I just have to insist that people do things my way, because I can't be TOTALLY flexible. I need my patterns and my sense of order. <br /><br />Lately, I'm trying to enjoy the process of organizing and cleaning things, which is very calming for me, and not dwell on how quickly it gets undone. It's hard to remember, but it does seem to help.Sajahttp://autism-fallingintoplace.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-36055784345953009352009-08-09T15:51:20.338+10:002009-08-09T15:51:20.338+10:00Patterns and numbers. I'm currently being push...Patterns and numbers. I'm currently being pushed outside my comfort zone. I normally have 8 spoons of yughurt at a time (heavily rationalised and justified of course). I have been told to have 6 then 10 the next day, then then 9 and 7 and then 3. Currently doing my head in big time.<br /><br />Its being done to teach me that the world will not stop if I break my patterns/rules. I immediately thought of ways to avoid the comfrontation but I need to learn that some of rules are flexible/irrelevant. <br /><br />Not easy but if I cheat, I'm only cheating myself so whats the point of it. Damn, she's good.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02396278102870847266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-62458052634146322322009-08-09T15:43:28.740+10:002009-08-09T15:43:28.740+10:00Anonymous,
Your explanation might explain why I u...Anonymous,<br /><br />Your explanation might explain why I usually get a bonus. I've always accepted nothing less than perfection at work - and I tend to work 10-12 hours per day (plus do work at home and on weekends) because I need to achieve that perfection.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-4341110252106750162009-08-09T15:40:33.625+10:002009-08-09T15:40:33.625+10:00Elizabeth,
I'm not sure that knowing that I&#...Elizabeth,<br /><br />I'm not sure that knowing that I'm resistant to change makes it any easier since usually I'm unaware of my resistance at the time.<br /><br />I think that in some cases, knowing that it's coming from something "outside" of me, helps me to be more understanding when it impacts my relationship but foreknowledge also worsens the gift-acceptance and/or purchasing problems. For example; I hit a major dilemma when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out because I needed to read it before someone spoilt the ending but I didn't want to buy a hardback since my paperbacks all sit nicely together on the shelf. In the end, I accepted that my need to read without being spoilt was greater than my immediate pattern issues and bought the hardcover. Of course, I know that it's only a matter of time until I either re-purchase the book as a paperback or worse still, re-purchase the other six as hardbacks.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-18730474997053836082009-08-09T15:16:55.639+10:002009-08-09T15:16:55.639+10:00Gavin, I had a situation at work in regards to per...Gavin, I had a situation at work in regards to performance bonuses, except they were called Superior Performance Awards. It took me 15 years to figure out on what basis they were awarded. Some people seemed to get them on a regular basis and other people like me never received one even though everyone was always happy with my work.<br /><br />I finally realized at some point that the people who received the awards worked a lot of overtime. Further I realized that they worked a lot of overtime because they were not particularly good at their jobs and had to work overtime just to get their job done on time.<br /><br />I rarely worked overtime because I was able to get my work done during regular work hours. I made sure I did because I hated leaving late as the traffic would be terrible and I really needed my daily away from work time.<br /><br />If you worked a lot of overtime it appeared as though you were putting out a lot of extra effort compared to someone who didn't work overtime and therefore you received these awards.<br /><br />When I finally realized what the criteria for the awards were, I marched into my supervisor's office and explained it to him. Fortunately he was a really good guy who understood my frustration and figured out a way to get me one.<br /><br />I have no idea if this is applicable to your job or not, but maybe it'll shed some light on it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-35444011401916786692009-08-09T11:04:05.605+10:002009-08-09T11:04:05.605+10:00I was going to comment on your mom's clevernes...I was going to comment on your mom's cleverness but I am too busy laughing my head off at the Taoist. My husband could have written that!<br /><br />Jif peanut butter and Welch's grape and heaven help me if I buy something else 'cuz he's not eating it.<br /><br />Gavin, do you think realizing your aversion to change makes it any easier to prepare for or accept change or is it still just as hard?Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16940553582856827725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-61197299463500301982009-08-09T04:58:55.298+10:002009-08-09T04:58:55.298+10:00Gavin, I relate to your aversion to changing patte...Gavin, I relate to your aversion to changing patterns of books. I collect comic books/graphic novels/trade paperbacks and due to lending (and never getting back) the last two in the trade paperback series The Sandman, I have been without them for several years. Recently, as a gift, I received the last two in the series. (I have similar struggles with receiving gifts also.) But over the past several years, the publishers changed the entire way the cover and spine of the novel looks. I kept them, but they look terrible along side the earlier additions and I haven't been interested in looking at my comic book collection for some time now. The different covers really bother me.<br /><br />Jonahmidwestcoasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10957258389069692055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-77355966217962243702009-08-09T01:46:30.622+10:002009-08-09T01:46:30.622+10:00I think "change resistance" is a very co...I think "change resistance" is a very common trait shared by most aspies. I've written about my weird patterns on my blog.<br /><br />Two examples. First, I wear the same thing everyday -- hickory-striped overalls, a T-Shirt (short-sleeves in the summer, long-sleeves in the winter), and a pair of Converse high tops. A few months ago I had to dress in "normal" clothes for an appointment. When I stopped by the local market on the way home, everybody freaked. They had never seen in me in anything but my usual getup.<br /><br />Example #2: I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The peanut butter HAS TO BE Jif and the jelly HAS TO BE Welches grape jelly. Not only that, but the sandwich itself must be made in a particular way or I won't eat it. It's really insane that a 51 year old man won't eat a sandwich if it's now made in the precise same way, but I am who I am. : )The Rambling Taoisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04730292897416827840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-21129968355765359512009-08-08T00:32:12.563+10:002009-08-08T00:32:12.563+10:00Gavin, this is an absolutely wonderful post. I so ...Gavin, this is an absolutely wonderful post. I so relate. <br /><br />Unless I'm completely miserable to the point of despair, I don't like change of any kind--unless, of course, I control the change, which is why I'm constantly changing the positions of the objects in my loft until I get them *just right*. And even when they're *just right*, they can always be *even more right.* But even that self-imposed change is a kind of resistance to change, because I'm attempting to order my environment in such a way as to create stasis in a world that will not stay static for more than a second or two.Rachelhttp://www.aspergerjourneys.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-32944562465958134312009-08-07T20:53:51.635+10:002009-08-07T20:53:51.635+10:00Gavin, I can relate. I love your description of &q...Gavin, I can relate. I love your description of "pattern breaking resistance." I have this with lots of tiny things that, alas, my family's oblivious to: the way the green and gray glasses alternate in the cabinet, for example. <br /><br />I always thought of myself as a pretty "go with the flow" person until I discovered my autism five years ago. Then, suddenly, all kinds of little resistances to change became visible. I dislike ALL changes, it turns out, even ones that are positive, like finding out, after the point I'd assumed they weren't coming, that my brother-in-law and his girlfriend will be visiting on a child's birthday. My first reaction is ALWAYS negative. Consternation, frustration, and only then pleasure.<br /><br />For little things, the consternation-frustration phase usually takes less than sixty seconds--apparently I had trained myself, after all, to be a "go with the flow" person, but I could never lose those first sixty seconds. And if you're near me in that first minute, you'll see the frustration and consternation pass over my face and in my first remark or two. Then--whoosh--it's gone, pushed down under a more socially acceptable response.Sajahttp://autism-fallingintoplace.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com