tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Life with AspergersGavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger5634125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-35396739994666350152024-02-18T08:48:57.857+11:002024-02-18T08:48:57.857+11:00Anonymous, as a general rule, a true autistic pers...Anonymous, as a general rule, a true autistic person will lack the insight to be manipulative. It's one of the reasons why it is said that you cannot be both autistic and psychopathic.<br /><br />I'm not sure that I agree as I've seen some autistic people displaying traits of both. You can never say "never". Combinations are always possible, though sometimes less common. <br /><br />I think that the punishments for crimes in general tend to be too soft or too misdirected and that a person's background factors into it too much. I've noticed that many of today's big crimes are being committed by people who are "known to the police" or who were on "home detention" for one thing or another. <br /><br />Personally, I think that crimes that hurt actual people need to be charged more than crimes that simply affect wealth (for example, an assault crime should be punished more than video piracy) but the legal system doesn't function the way we would like it to.<br /><br />The US, for example has one of the highest rates of incarceration in the world but I don't think that it is doing much to reduce the incidence of crime. Lockups are good for violent crime but they're not the best solution for non-violent crime. Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-21753122835342038222024-02-18T01:52:37.128+11:002024-02-18T01:52:37.128+11:00I live in the UK and have seen a lot of people wit...I live in the UK and have seen a lot of people with Autism walk free because they play on their Autism and act dumb, a Domestic Violence Support Worker I recently had due to my Autistic ex stated that Autistics can be very manipulative and play the system resulting in "No Further Action". The UK is far too soft on those what are Neurodiverse, they should at least be sectioned under the Mental Health Act just as it was decades ago.<br /><br />I also read about a boy hacking Rockstar Games, he has been arrested, charged and sectioned as there are concerns about his violent behaviour towards others. My Autistic ex can also become violent, she's assaulted 9 people from what I know of, most of these are exs plus she's previously been arrested.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-78035255137417327822023-11-09T03:51:49.808+11:002023-11-09T03:51:49.808+11:00I was diagnosed when I was FIFTY-THREE, which in &...I was diagnosed when I was FIFTY-THREE, which in "Any book" is 'LATE'?<br /><br />It does help to explain - with Einstein - why I have excelled in the stores I have worked in.Originally, in a "Private" photographic & optical store - I could comprehend what would/would not sell and when I left there to become a Technician in F.E. I left without a blemish on my character. In Napier? I attempted suicide on three occasions, as I was bored out of my brains - I was supposed to be a Graphic Designer and all I did was deliver TV/VHS from room to room! After the first attempt, my Chie Technician's "Counselling" are as fresh now - as about 40 years' ago, "If ever you feel that bad again, don't do it on Napier property". I was returned to my Godforsaken office and it was STILL cover in blood: MY blood - I'd slashed my wrists. None of the Lecturing staff had any issues with the drawings I made - indeed, some went out of their way to get me to draw for them.<br /><br />I left there to work for Currys. I still don't know why they fired me - specifically because I was their highest salesman. Not Edinburgh or 'just' Scotland or even the UK: I was their highest in EUROPE. My sales have never been bettered since.<br /><br />Now? Now I spend all day either taking photographs (I have been published over 29,000 throughout the World - "Google" my name!) or taking the dog we got when another died. The one before I miss dailly/hourly - I haven't seen the other one today and I assume he is with the person that's apparently 'looking after me'. Good job, leaving me alone with my thoughts and memories - when I feel useless?Nik Watthttp://www.nikwatt.co.uknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-48348449156428749912023-11-03T05:43:48.278+11:002023-11-03T05:43:48.278+11:00Hi Gavin, found this blog yesterday. I'm in th...Hi Gavin, found this blog yesterday. I'm in the US. 40 year old NT woman. Met a man on a dating site who was in town on business. Also 40. We went out 2 nights in a row. I'm in Florida, he is in Washington DC. Great dates. I was completely drawn to him. He told me after the first night that when he stops coming down here for business, he would still come see me. He told me a few weeks after our 2nd date that he likes and misses me. I ended up flying up to him, intrigued. He would text me in between when we saw each other, but it was very surface level and would sometimes take him a day or two to respond, if he did. But the things he said sounded so genuine. I stayed in a hotel near him for 3 days. Other than kissing a few times, he didn't touch me. I became insecure, thinking he just didn't like me at all, even when I tried to initiate affection. But I held my confidence. I still had a good time and really enjoyed him. There were many other things that I picked up on the trip that led me to believe he is on the spectrum. Not knowing that at the time, I texted him way too much when I flew back, trying to understand why he was so distant. He ghosted me for 3 weeks. I was devastated. Then he popped back up and apologized for not talking, that he had some stressful things going on. I took him back. We continued texting here and there. I told him I want him to come to FL and see me for a couple of days. He said, "ok. I can do that." It has been a couple of weeks and no plan has been made. He is in the process of moving an hour away and starting a new job though. I usually initiate texts every couple of days. I have told him in the past how much I like him and want to see him again. It's been 3 days since I texted. He hasn't messaged me yet. I'm waiting to see if he will. Otherwise, I'm not sure where we stand. I would be open to moving to him if things worked out between us. But I need to feel like he still wants to see each other. Do you think since he said he would come see me, and that he came back after ghosting me, that he genuinely has feelings for me? I'm so unsure how to move forward from here. jharden724https://www.blogger.com/profile/01715269206041886532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-57473414981822047252023-09-12T08:19:17.370+10:002023-09-12T08:19:17.370+10:00I’ve read this book. I just want to know what she’...I’ve read this book. I just want to know what she’s think of raising a child now. How would she raise a child with Asperger’s syndrome in todays world? What would she think of the Autism Acceptance movement? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-24541788861391860622023-07-17T21:26:19.073+10:002023-07-17T21:26:19.073+10:00The reason why autism is recognized in males thsn ...The reason why autism is recognized in males thsn females is because back in the 1900's mental health wasn't very pretty and their research was accurate but poor, My grandma has said some similar to this "It only takes a boy to misbehave and act poorly in class but the girls are always the quiet sensible ones that never misbehave, it is simply because they were sexist and did their research in males than females because the females didn't math up with the symptoms but that's only because we were forced to mask and suppress our autism, girls are seen as the sensible quiet ones and boys aren't, it's an old-fashioned Stereotyping so I will say reguardless of your sex assigned at Birth, anyone can have autism, the girls are just forced to hide and mask their autism because of society and their sexist standards towards us Jazznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-36361391953500676102023-06-16T01:18:56.622+10:002023-06-16T01:18:56.622+10:00Great learning! Thanks!
Great learning! Thanks!<br />nehahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18059173495761828456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-25921109939713504592023-05-11T16:40:40.450+10:002023-05-11T16:40:40.450+10:00I'm 37 and this just finalized my question. I ...I'm 37 and this just finalized my question. I have this 100% I can remember back to 9mo. It's even sideways bc my Nonny was holding me bc parents went skiing and I stayed with my grandparents. She flipped after hitting ice and vertically broke her knee in half. After surgery she was on crutches n in this blue brace w/ white velcro straps, from her ankle to her hip. I wasn't thinking words, or even Mommy, but I just remembered this overwhelming joy she'd come back,I knew her! My vision was a little weird, but I asked my mom why I had this memory and she said, " You couldn't have been more than 9mo old. That's impossible. So I described her cast and how Poppop held the door while Daddy helped her. It goes in n out from there, but what confirmed it, though was that cast was temporary. Next day she got the official one that looked totally different. She said I must've seen a picture, but there all of the other cast. No one but parents n grandparents saw it that day, and no pic was ever taken so... Many many more. I have a problem with understanding the written question for some reason. I taught myself to read,too.I freaked my 1st grade teacher out when I read the handout b4 we got to our ABC's.I see patterns too. Like that's a HUGE deal to me. That PTSD thing Holy Crap that's what been going on? Its like a nightmare track that cripples me! I hit my 1st migraine at 4, they never knew why I get them. Sensory overload. Orange creamsicles and Gap's Angel's perfume and anything similar, instant migraine. So I'm gonna go ahead and say I'm pretty sure this will be my diagnosis. Thank you, to everyone for sharing. I've been so lost, and depressed thinking I'm just a failure bc I can't get past what's so simple to others, but now I know I was right I am different, and it's OK. Thank youAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12132234897208423462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-90887042341419125522023-04-26T19:48:54.021+10:002023-04-26T19:48:54.021+10:00Great article! I completely agree with your points...Great article! I completely agree with your points about the importance of trauma counselling in today's. Your insights on how counselling have really helped me understand the benefits of incorporating trauma counselling into my own counselling . Thank you for sharing your expertise and knowledge, and I look forward to reading more from you in the futuretrauma counsellinghttps://onlinecounsellingclinic.co.uk/online-trauma-counselling/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-37917435918380997612023-04-14T02:43:55.785+10:002023-04-14T02:43:55.785+10:00hell ya! I am female with ASD in project managemen...hell ya! I am female with ASD in project management and what you have described applies to me whole heartedly. The hardest part for me is in fact the social aspect, but I outsource a lot of it by empowering members on the team to think of themselves and act as leaders. Basically I am the woman behind the curtain calling shots, and that is cool with me lol. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-5339194503794507192023-02-02T23:02:25.361+11:002023-02-02T23:02:25.361+11:00I suspect, if one were to plot the graph of autism...I suspect, if one were to plot the graph of autism with age, it would be a bell curve;<br />As a baby, low social skills and interaction<br />As a young adult, gaining in social skills and integration.<br />As an older adult, a sense of social entitlement and also knowing where to draw their own line of whether to engage or not.Duncanhttps://gitedordogne.co.uk/autism-friendly-holidays/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-53993064728452634702022-08-01T00:21:24.553+10:002022-08-01T00:21:24.553+10:00Aspies can be taken advantage of by sociopaths. I ...Aspies can be taken advantage of by sociopaths. I have been.<br />Roberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05593582279998086740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-84467407540032459962022-06-22T10:15:47.701+10:002022-06-22T10:15:47.701+10:00Yes, it probably should say "Try not to get d...Yes, it probably should say "Try not to get distracted" or "aim to be not distracted" ... you can only do your best. Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-60247307594208993422022-06-22T05:59:22.108+10:002022-06-22T05:59:22.108+10:00"Don't get distracted"? Where are y..."Don't get distracted"? Where are you on the spectrum?? LOL. It being a spectrum, that's like asking some of us (ok.. me -- I'll own it) not to breathe. Glad you're not as heavy on the ADD part. I get distracted by the act of trying not to get distracted -- and trying to perfect that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-23150816165211085672022-05-16T12:59:57.658+10:002022-05-16T12:59:57.658+10:00My. Dad. Is. Number. One.
I only recently learned...My. Dad. Is. Number. One.<br /><br />I only recently learned that he fits all the criteria for an aspie. Before, I thought he was just a genius with a super annoying personality. His obsession with Christianity has put a very huge strain on his relationships, because not only is he obsessed, he believes all his family is doomed to hell if they don’t listen to him. Even my brother’s mother-in-law, who is a devout catholic, starts to get bored after an hour with him. I’ve stopped going to church due to how much trauma I had from his Bible-thumping ways.<br /><br />Sadly, he has never gotten the proper help, and believes vehemently that God is more helpful than any psychologist.<br /><br />Not all my experiences with aspies were bad, thankfully. I met some in Mensa and while they may have social deficits, they are pleasant if you are patient. strawrosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05307592922365437405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-45846734130376524122022-05-11T07:56:00.545+10:002022-05-11T07:56:00.545+10:00i have Aspergers.my blog.http;//mark-kent.webs.com...i have Aspergers.my blog.http;//mark-kent.webs.com twitter.supersnopper Linkedin.AutismDad markAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-17592687599246772572022-05-03T12:39:26.272+10:002022-05-03T12:39:26.272+10:00My explanation why some criminal are part of ASD c...My explanation why some criminal are part of ASD community.<br /><br /><br />Most studies say that people with ASD are more likely to be victims than being perpetrators. While that is true, that statement is too broad, people with co-morbid diagnosis of Intellectual Disability and Autism are actually 20 times more likely to be victims than being perpetrators, compare to people who are higher functioning end of the autistic spectrum. Another problem why that statement from most studies is too broad, it is because the diagnostic criteria for Pervasive Developmental Disorders became more broad for the last decade and it was lumped as Autism Spectrum Disorder, and it's broad to the point where even some people with Antisocial Personality Disorder can be considered to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.<br /><br />A lot of you guys wonder why more criminals happened to have diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder than a decade earlier, it is because the diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder is a lot more broad than it was a decade ago. It was thought that only people with Intellectual Disabilities have Pervasive Developmental Disorder, but after few years, they made the diagnostic criteria for ASD more broad to include people who have symptoms of PDD but without Intellectual Disability, and after few more years, the diagnostic criteria became more broad to include Asperger Syndrome. And In 2013, it was lumped as Autism Spectrum Disorder, and and recently it was lumped as Autism Spectrum Disorder in ICD-11.<br /><br />It's is true that most people with ASD are more likely to be victims than being perpetrators, but if we get more technical, people who have ASD without Intellectual Disability are more likely to commit crimes than people who are Intellectually Disabled. There are some people with Intellectual Disability that commit crimes, but it's so rare, because the diagnostic criteria for Intellectual Disability includes problem with Intellectual and adaptive functioning. People with ASD without Intellectual Disability are able to to neurotypical tasks and some people with ASD without Intellectual Disability are able to defend themselves than people Intellectual Disability.<br /><br />Since, the diagnostic criteria for Autism because more broad for the last decade, I wonder if I am correct that if there are some crimes that with ASD without Intellectual Disabilities are more likely to commit, but due to lack of social skills and repetitive behaviors.<br /><br />You guys are wondering why more criminals happened to have ASD than a decade ago, it's because the diagnostic criteria for Pervasive Developmental Disorders became more broad for the last decade and lumped as Autism Spectrum Disorder in recent years.<br /><br />There are a lot of people that say it's impossible to have Antisocial Personality Disorder and ASD, but the problem is that the diagnostic criteria for ASD is much more broad than a decade ago, that it's is considered possible to have co-morbidity diagnosis of Antisocial Personality Disorder and ASD.<br /><br />Now, you know why more criminals happened to have ASD than a decade ago.<br /><br />Oren Franz2https://www.blogger.com/profile/06414688542921223789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-17675154884329976472022-04-23T21:32:15.274+10:002022-04-23T21:32:15.274+10:00Gavin, I'm glad you are still posting informat...Gavin, I'm glad you are still posting information. I have no children as you'll know from a previous comment. I have developed a mild addiction to your blog though. That is about to end I suspect as I think I've now read most of what you've said to date. The reason for this is simple: for the first time in my 68 years (with probably not much longer to go) I've discovered who I and what I am thanks mainly to your posts and those of the comments posted in response. Re social media: this and a couple of other blogs about my particlar spectrum disorder is as far as it goes. I've had no desire to put myself out there on Facebook or any other medium. My addictions are really limited to all facets of electronics (designing and building, not buying manufactured gadgets) and playing music (to myself). No appetite for online gaming etc. I just love making things.MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-39895260325094125722022-04-23T20:59:02.391+10:002022-04-23T20:59:02.391+10:00I was the victim of taunting and bullying for seve...I was the victim of taunting and bullying for several years at two different high schools. I can hardly remember how I dealt with it other than silently retreating into my shell and "hoping it would go away". I remember dreading going to school the next day and I never told my parents about it. Not that they wouldn't have been sympathetic but the thought that they would possibly intervene on my behalf to my mind wold have been worse as it would have shown me up for being a coward. I remember one incident, not the exact nature of the taunting but something one of my tormentors said to someone else as an aside "I was expecting him to fight back but he just sat there and took it". I was absolutely crushed. <br /><br />To this day I will not attend reunions - my ultimate defence has been to leave the past in the past and hope never to see any of those people again. Not only school reunions but work ones as well (yes it also happened there). Somehow I was non-conformist and on one occasion I was demoted for going against management's wishes that I would shut up and diligently go round fixing all the wiring mistakes that cheap temporary street labour was making when I told them to let me do the more creative stuff as I would do it right first time and enjoy it more. Boy did I get a telling off. And demotion as I said. And there was one ape who I think hated me because I was able to do things without being "trained"; I am self-taught in most things and technical was my forte. I was able to take spare time and secretly dig the circuit diagrams out, study them and figure out how an entire crossbar telephone exchange worked (new technology at the time) to the point where I could troubleshoot as well as anybody there. Tall poppy. Same at school when I stupidly demonstrated my musical ability on several different instruments. I was a target for weeks.<br /><br />I suspect that these experiences were my training ground for running away from trouble before it could happen. I think I said it elsewhere but circumspection became second nature to me. I have never recovered; pain avoidance works but has robbed me of a significant part of my humanity.MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-54337699418706104722022-04-23T11:53:43.286+10:002022-04-23T11:53:43.286+10:00Although I haven't sired children (AS male) it...Although I haven't sired children (AS male) it has been interesting reading this blog. Funny thing is I never once envisioned having children in my life, never even considered that it was a "normal" part of being human. I was totally blind to what being an adult really meant when I was young.<br /><br />I have seen/heard it said that not having children is "selfish". I've never understood why. Is it that some people who have had children think the pain of living in a broken world should be shared by others? I know that probably sounds awful to some but.... I've always thought that having children is a choice that the children should be able to make - again patently ridiculous but had I been asked about whether I wanted to I know what my answer would have been. Too much pain in the world for me. <br /><br />On the few occasions I actually managed to get a physical relationship happening the first question that came to mind was about the "danger" of getting her pregnant. A romance killer if ever there was one. I was lucky with the woman who was my first when I was the tender age of 24 - she was all primed with a birth control pill and downed it just before we got stuck in.<br /><br />I do like children - I was once one after all and I've often wished I could have remained in permanent childhood. I suppose in some ways I have. It was all about enjoyment of discovery, play etc. Totally innocent. Of course there was baggage like bullying, taunting and teasing that I had to endure but the good moments outweighed that until I got to high school when I really suffered badly. The bad moments led to a lifetime reaction of withdrawing and dis'ing those who hurt me in a heartbeat. To this day I've not attended a single school reuniion.<br /><br />I don't think I would have made a good parent and now seeing the state the world is in consider that fate has been kind to me in that respect. The thought of a child of mine having to grow up in a world with Trumps, Putins, despots and dictators in it as well as climate change-wrought disasters etc. Sounds selfish? Yes, I suppose it does. Sorry for being what nature and the world has made me.<br /><br /><br /> MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-68835092283835912102022-04-23T08:38:33.037+10:002022-04-23T08:38:33.037+10:00Gavin, I can hardly find the words to express what...Gavin, I can hardly find the words to express what I'm feeling right now. As I read the heading piece above and then read through your comments to various posts I copied and pasted key bits into a Notepad document. I stopped when I had 10 of your comments in quotes, ready to respond. Instead let me say that everything you wrote just rang like a bell with a Q of a million. Despite a lack of a formal diagnosis I am now in no doubt that I have Asperger's (to use the out-of-date description). I like thinking of myself as an "Aspie" now because I finally have a simple descriptor which fits like a glove. I DO NOT want to wear it as some kind of "badge of honour". It just simply, finally after years of not knowing why I am so broken gives me an anchor. <br /><br />I *completely* identify with your description of yourself, your experiences and struggles. It literally is the description of my life. This might sound weird but I feel as if I have finally "come home". At last I have found people (and you in particular) who truly understand me. I have had a lifetime of sorrows because I've been so misunderstood and because things have gone so wrong for me in my yearning for personal relationships, a longing which will now never be fulfilled. I am almost crying as I write this (ridiculous for a 68 year-old, right??). <br /><br />My stupidity has culminated in my being stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. It was the result of a rebound from a brief relationship which hurt me to my core when the neighbour who seduced me broke it off (after she realized she would not be moving in with me) and then I "met" my wife, sight unseen by email and phone and she upended and came all the way from America to marry me. I made my promises and I *cannot* break them. She is highly dependent (numerous medical problems, extremely limited mobility etc. etc.) and would simply not manage without me (this is not a statement about control; it is simply the truth). <br /><br />Were I to leave her I would be abandoning her but also I would stand to lose my house which I'd bought and paid off before she came (it is now matrimonial property) and my personal security base). I would never be able to get another short of a lotto win and that is not going to happen. And even then I could not abandon her.<br /><br /><br />I am lucky that I have a garage/man cave where I can sink myself into my electronics and be in my own space (she's grown to understand to a degree) as well as a food garden and small orchard which I established from scratch.<br /><br />So thankyou, thankyou, thankyou........<br />MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-19392526508139658982022-04-23T06:16:08.342+10:002022-04-23T06:16:08.342+10:00Suddenly (yet again) I'm feeling terrible for ...Suddenly (yet again) I'm feeling terrible for a whole lot of reasons, not least of which this is an old blog and I've only just discovered it (and myself which is ongoing). I can vividly recall personal encounters which went badly decades after they occurred. They still bring "OMG" moments back to mind together with lashings of shame and regret. I cannot "believe" how ignorant I've been for so long. Why wasn't I enlightened decades ago when things could have been made better for me? I've lived a pathetic life and never understood why until now. But I have to ask whether it would have made a difference. Maybe not - I suppose things are what they are.MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-5610858718526373512022-04-21T16:24:02.771+10:002022-04-21T16:24:02.771+10:00I've decided to "put myself out there a b...I've decided to "put myself out there a bit" - i.e. shake off inhibitions about talking frankly (something which I've always found very hard to do) about the difference between masturbating and enjoying the experience of coming inside a willing partner who wants/needs it. I am an older male Aspie who recently discovered his true self after a lifetime of feeling lost.<br /><br />There is nothing as enjoyable and deeply satisfying as coming inside a partner. The sensual pleasure of feeling a warm soft body during sex is far better than masturbating which has been most of the sex I've had during my life. I agree about the "grip" thing desensitizing one. My first intercourse at the age of 24 highlighted the differences starkly; I couldn't believe how "loose" she was. What I've found is that the best time to be had is when you are pressing together and NOT doing a lot of in-and-out like porn does. Being relaxed helps a lot. When the romantic-feelings connection is there and you are staying pressed close a time comes (npi) when you simply lose control and the orgasm is almost automatic. It is indescribably satisfying. It isn't forced. And according to what one of my few lovers told me, it is better for her too as you are actively stimulating her sensitive parts.MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-24231357409621474132022-04-21T15:12:11.789+10:002022-04-21T15:12:11.789+10:00Gavin, kudos on your wonderful blog and the topics...Gavin, kudos on your wonderful blog and the topics you bring up. What I would give to be able to go back to my early 20s, to know at the time that I was Aspie and to have paired up with an Aspie woman with a high sex drive. We could have enjoyed each other and each having our own spaces to pursue our individual interests. The life I've missed out on and it's too late now. It almost kills me just thinking about it. I suppose it's some kind of punishment but for what?? The ADT I'm on has turned me into eunuch. Oh the pain.......MWnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-45269097153470646402022-04-21T09:11:35.156+10:002022-04-21T09:11:35.156+10:00I can't believe it. Just had one. This stupid ...I can't believe it. Just had one. This stupid laptop - I lost my comment when the damn touchpad (well me actually!) did something to delete what I wrote a moment ago and here I am retracing my steps. I nearly destroyed the thing. It got more than a light tap beside the keyboard.<br /><br />Meltdowns were an infrequent part of my life until recently (I'm now 68). Probably the result of a lifetime of pent-up frustrations. Triggers are either when I screw up and have to re-do something or when my wife mentions that something needs doing and then in the next breath when I begin to do it says "it doesn't have to be done NOW". Man does that get me. If it doesn't need to be done now, why did you ask now?? Or I am doing something and have to drop everything to hear some totally irrelevant and specious bit of "information", watch a cat video on youtube or something. Or have to repeat saying something because she is hard of hearing and refuses to wear the hearing aids she paid a fortune for.<br /><br />When I am doing something, particularly technical it demands ALL my attention. Like driving which I describe as a fulltime job. I hate driving with other people in the car. Listening to music on the radio is fine but conversations require thnking on my part and I CANNOT give the road my full attention AND conduct a conversation. Never mind cellphones!<br /><br />When I botch something in my garage work/hobby place I can be pretty hard on myself; I have lost some treble register hearing in my left ear (in addition to what I did while playing in loud bands years ago) as a result of giving myself a good hard smack or three around the ear. My meltdowns don't last long but I do need recovery time to get things back on track. Until I discovered your wonderful and helpful blog Gavin which has for the first time in my life made me understand who and what I really am I thought I was just going mad with age.MWnoreply@blogger.com