tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post5794930104550209756..comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Comments on Life with Aspergers: Book Review: Aspergers in Pink by Julie ClarkGavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-33017909748796055972015-01-29T05:37:28.162+11:002015-01-29T05:37:28.162+11:00Perhaps I'm misunderstanding but I have issues...Perhaps I'm misunderstanding but I have issues with the label of "borderline Aspergers" as I believe that "borderline" and "Aspergers" are two different diagnoses. Unless, what is intended to be said is that one is "mildly" Aspergers, but then that just reminds me of the expression "slightly pregnant". I would think one either is in the ASD spectrum or not. This often puzzles me. <br /><br />I also get a kick out of the term "high-functioning autism". It makes me think: Is there a ranking amongst those who are functioning? Am I a colonel amongst autistics, or am a corporal? xDMiguel Palaciohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02311154354365423829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-81537930519068326162015-01-29T05:26:13.547+11:002015-01-29T05:26:13.547+11:00As it is ASD aside, girls have a harder time than ...As it is ASD aside, girls have a harder time than boys at school when raising their hands to speak about something. More often the boys are picked. And when what comes out if a girl's mouth is absolutely accurate and/or noteworthy it is too often dismissed. <br /><br />This society must continue to evolve until there is true equality. <br /><br />But I think the same may be taking place when a girl or woman with high-functioning ASD may be seeking a diagnosis or acommodation. Miguel Palaciohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02311154354365423829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-54275518294753082322010-09-10T22:08:35.802+10:002010-09-10T22:08:35.802+10:00I definitely have to pick up a copy of this book.I definitely have to pick up a copy of this book.Maritahttp://leechbabe.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-35250408071521387312010-08-13T11:22:45.700+10:002010-08-13T11:22:45.700+10:00Betti said: "As for the book..... how many as...Betti said: "As for the book..... how many aspie girls out there are into the girly pinky atmosphere and lifestyle out there? That does make me cringe."<br />That is exactly the reaction I had upon seeing the cover of this book. As a female maybe-Aspie (can't afford a diagnosis), I often felt alienated from other girls because I wasn't into the pink, lacy, frilly, girly stuff. Now that I'm an adult it's not so much of an issue.<br /><br />Betti said: "I am certainly no expert on aspergers but I feel that there could be a difference between boys and girls. <br />Boys and men tend to approach communication, relationships and problem-solving with more logic, reasoning, structure and intellect. In females, social interaction is more likely to be guided by intuition, emotions, sharing and caring, chitchat. <br />I may be totally wrong here. I think a female is hit quite hard in relationships because it is very difficult for us to do these girly things in interactions. Socially, boys won't be punished so hard for failing to sympathise or for having a logical, structured approach when deciding what to say. Boys will simply be weird and geeky, girls will be perceived as cruel and insensitive bitches."<br />QFT. It is more socially acceptable for boys to display Aspie behaviors than it is for girls.<br /><br />Another major difference is that girls are often able to hide their Aspie behavior better because a) females in general are more in touch with emotions than males so they are more likely to realize that their own behavior is bit "off", and b) females tend to helped by their female friends to display the "correct" behavior.<br /><br />Then there's the bias in the medical community. For a long time it was believed that only males could have autism or Asperger's, and there are some doctors out there who still believe that. Also, Asperger's tends to present differently in females, and some doctors lack the training/experience to spot the differences.CelticRosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-82970972743345796412010-08-13T08:31:35.476+10:002010-08-13T08:31:35.476+10:00[...]the phrase to "not judge a book by its c...<i>[...]the phrase to "not judge a book by its cover" isn't meant to be taken literally[...]</i><br />Wait, it *isn't* meant to be taken literally??? I mean, I knew it was also figurative but...<br /><br />Hm. While it's good to hear about more out there on girls, that it didn't cover some of the differences if a little bit bothersome. Especially since it's usually the girls who are a little less typical expressing that get diagnosed early in life. But I guess that could have something to do with the girl who is the "hero" or what have you being so young?Savannah Logsdon-Breakstonehttp://crackedmirrorinshalott.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-5254194142394615632010-08-13T07:45:01.963+10:002010-08-13T07:45:01.963+10:00Hi Gavin:
I had noticed your precise language use...Hi Gavin:<br /><br />I had noticed your precise language use in previous posts, which is why I thought I would comment on the feel/think thing. It's interesting that you and I have opposite interpretations of the meanings of feel vs. think. I like your interpretation and appreciate that you're able to explain it so clearly. I wonder if the difference is be a cultural thing - I believe I recall reading that you're in Australia; I'm in Canada. <br /><br />Then again, maybe my alternative interpretation is one of the reasons I have so much difficulty relating to people.<br /><br />I'm in an in-between realm right now as far as my diagnosis - I've had an assessment and the doctor said that she'd classified me as "borderline Aspergers" and implied that she wanted to deal with my "serious depression" so she could make a conclusive diagnosis. The problem is that I don't think I am "seriously depressed". My extreme anxiety about A) going to the hospital for the assessment and B) voluntarily seeing a doctor (a group of people with whom I don't have many good experiences) apparently left me in a state that appeared to the doctor as severe depression. <br /><br />But I've digressed. I do that. Sorry again. I should probably start my own blog so I could ramble away without harassing everyone else...<br /><br />Thanks for the reply though. It's great to learn how other people interpret things, and there aren't many people with whom I can have open discussion regarding language use, so thank you for that.<br /><br />And keep up the fantastic blog!quinoanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-35004603623432649452010-08-12T16:15:26.134+10:002010-08-12T16:15:26.134+10:00I like to use the word "feel" similarly....I like to use the word "feel" similarly. It is something open and flexible and actually it may change when I see and experience more or something different.<br /><br />As for the book..... how many aspie girls out there are into the girly pinky atmosphere and lifestyle out there? That does make me cringe. Makes the book look superficial. Yes, don't judge by the cover blabla.<br /><br />I am certainly no expert on aspergers but I feel that there could be a difference between boys and girls. <br />Boys and men tend to approach communication, relationships and problem-solving with more logic, reasoning, structure and intellect. In females, social interaction is more likely to be guided by intuition, emotions, sharing and caring, chitchat. <br />I may be totally wrong here. I think a female is hit quite hard in relationships because it is very difficult for us to do these girly things in interactions. Socially, boys won't be punished so hard for failing to sympathise or for having a logical, structured approach when deciding what to say. Boys will simply be weird and geeky, girls will be perceived as cruel and insensitive bitches.Bettinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-14790527240237791092010-08-12T15:31:53.905+10:002010-08-12T15:31:53.905+10:00An aspie girl, especially a smart one like you not...An aspie girl, especially a smart one like you noted does have many similar traits as aspie males. The one clincher being that they can disguise their traits well, so well that an adult or even a psychologist will automatically dismiss any "invisible" signs of autism. I can tell you that it is a devastating feeling when you are trying to explain that you have aspergers and everyone laughs at you like it's a joke. Certainly makes you feel like you yourself are a lie. So you continue to hide behind this actress that you have so carefully materialized. The actress that was supposed to protect you and make your parents happy has instead become your worst enemy. <br /><br />The different essentially has more to do with cultural views than can be ascribed to gender alone. If a girl speaks up that she is having difficulty reacting to questions quickly in a classroom setting because of a language processing delay, she is dismissed and called shy. If it is a male, he is given further testing and disability accommodations. I hope this will happen less and less in the future, but when I was in school it is an accurate example of the cultural views I am referring to.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06001020811877167957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-18980970981973366342010-08-12T12:24:36.927+10:002010-08-12T12:24:36.927+10:00quinoa,
That's quite an interesting observati...quinoa,<br /><br />That's quite an interesting observation. My writing tends to be fairly precise, so it probably seems weird that I might feel rather than think.<br /><br />I actually use the word feel quite deliberately because to me, thinking is a kind of rigid belief whereas feeling is a more tentative "gut feeling" type of word.<br /><br />If I <i>feel</i> something then I'm really still open to change but if I <i>think</i> something, it's a bit more closed.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-54212646540791962662010-08-12T12:07:35.288+10:002010-08-12T12:07:35.288+10:00I enjoy your blog; in fact, I've subscribed to...I enjoy your blog; in fact, I've subscribed to your RSS feed. However, I've only ever commented one other time so far - on your previous post about the language on the dessert menu. I mentioned that communication is a rant trigger for me, but instead of going on a rant, I'd like to take the opportunity to provide a little constructive criticism to which I hope you'll be receptive.<br /><br />I've noticed in your blog that you frequently use the word "feel" when "think" or "believe" or "understand" would be more accurate. We, as non-mystical humans, cannot "<i>feel</i> that the difference between aspies are less to do with gender..." as we can only truly <i>feel</i> sensations or emotions.<br /><br />You're certainly not the only one to use the word "feel" in this manner, but every time I see or hear it, I grit my teeth just a little. <br /><br />I also like to try to guess at why people use language the way they do as a way to make an effort to understand people's intentions and motivations. While I don't believe this interpretation necessarily applies to your post, I think that many people use the word "feel" in place of more appropriate words when they're dealing with subjects about which they don't wish people to disagree. By subconsciously linking their thoughts or opinions with what they think are their feelings, when people inevitably do disagree with their thoughts or opinions, those people take the rebuttal as a personal attack - "You can't disagree with me, I <i>feel</i> that this is true!" as if there is some mystical force that they alone can sense.<br /><br />Anyway. This particular word choice is one of many peeves of mine, and I truly intend my comment to be constructive (not destructive). I hope you will take it as such.<br /><br />Oh, and look at that. Seems I did go off on a rant after all. Sorry!quinoa (who posted as Anonymous before)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-30947162977002151932010-08-12T10:25:33.870+10:002010-08-12T10:25:33.870+10:00I think it's really good that they have books ...I think it's really good that they have books about AS for (and about) girls. I am a female with AS and bothers me how little they talk about girls with AS. (No offense to boys or men with AS here).TimeTravellingGirl https://www.blogger.com/profile/03602964759576991496noreply@blogger.com