tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post9123556938798632211..comments2024-03-19T08:40:36.481+11:00Comments on Life with Aspergers: Do Aspie Children know at they are Different? - Part 4: Letting Your Child KnowGavin Bollardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-15391691875430962352010-06-10T00:08:21.083+10:002010-06-10T00:08:21.083+10:00You...you! You talk like me! You talk like me! You...You...you! You talk like me! You talk like me! You are boring and pedantic! Extremely boring and pedantic! About childhood memories of social interactions! People probably fall asleep listening to you! And...and...you talk like me! Or at least you write like me! This is awesome! I bore people all the time! Like, ALL the time!<br /><br />I love you! <br /><br />Sorry. But...like, yeah.randomhumanfemalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05153839002801858064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-12360172040010029892009-06-30T05:48:02.236+10:002009-06-30T05:48:02.236+10:00Right now I am in 8th grade, going into 9th. I lea...Right now I am in 8th grade, going into 9th. I learned I had Asperger's in 6th. At first I was convinced I was a freak, just because I heard 'Autism'. There is so much media in America and around the world that if you have autism you are an idiot, worthless, and can't amount to anything, at least that is what I precieved from others when they even mentioned autism. I thought I was just stupid and gullible(whenever anyone cracked something about gullible being written on the ceiling, I always looked up). People would always tell me to think before I act, and that I had a real problem when it came to anything related to science, magnets, <b>computers</b>, and science fiction.<br /><br />I was told what Asperger's was by a very nice special ed teacher, luckily I went to a school that paid a lot of money and attention towards an autistic program, though there was only one person at the time who had autisim with ten of us that had Asperger's. One of the helpers(we just didn't know what else to call them, maybe assistants?) pointed me towards a book, and then I actually became proud to have Asperger's. I always felt smarter than everyone, or that I thought in a different way. I also became less depressed about it when I learned that one of my heroes, Albert Einstein, could have possibly had it. Now I am very thankful to have Asperger's and sometimes feel sorry for people who don't, because they might never see the world like I do. Also, being social is much easier with fellow Aspies, and over stuff like MMOs and Xbox Live, where you don't have to read body language or make eye contact, you can just have fun!<br /><br />Thank-you for these posts, and all your others!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-3075222623836934672009-04-04T00:09:00.000+11:002009-04-04T00:09:00.000+11:00I am the Anonymous who posted at February 20, 2009...I am the Anonymous who posted at February 20, 2009 4:38 AM.<BR/><BR/>I now think there is no doubt that I and my family definitely have Aspergers, and although I was very upset at first, my life makes a lot more sense now than it did before.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-78145528059874440132009-02-20T04:38:00.000+11:002009-02-20T04:38:00.000+11:00I am in my thirties. In the last couple of days I ...I am in my thirties. In the last couple of days I have had a shock. I have realised that I and some of my family show some minor signs of Aspergers. I am upset about this. Aspects of my personality that I thought were me, now appear to be part of a syndrome. I don't think I'd actually qualify for a diagnosis of Aspergers, I think I am some way from that, but my point remains the same, and I am pretty upset.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-50100649573055286612009-02-19T01:19:00.000+11:002009-02-19T01:19:00.000+11:00Thanks, Gavin. Great ideas. I'm in a unique situat...Thanks, Gavin. Great ideas. <BR/><BR/>I'm in a unique situation as far as disclosure. I have a novel for young people coming out (http://jjhoutman.livejournal.com/) and it's told from the point of view of an Aspergian science whiz with a bully problem. <BR/><BR/>Many people will assume that the main character is my son, which he isn't (although there are a lot of similarities). Marketing folks have told me that I should place myself as an expert and, aside from being a science writer with a PhD in science, my family makes me somewhat of an Asperger's expert. ("You have to live with it to write about it.")<BR/><BR/>I'm torn about bringing my family into the marketing. On the one hand, it "outs" us. On the other hand, Aspie cred will help get the book into the hands of kids who need characters with whom they can relate. <BR/><BR/>Your perspective on this would would be appreciated.<BR/><BR/>Thanks!<BR/>Jacqueline (aka Sminthia)Sminthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524106045781152121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-48762864036644121462009-02-18T09:38:00.000+11:002009-02-18T09:38:00.000+11:00Sminthia,Wonderful choice of timing - well done. G...Sminthia,<BR/><BR/>Wonderful choice of timing - well done. Giving your child a chance to watch TV programs about "heroes on the spectrum" is a great idea.<BR/><BR/>As far as peer disclosure is concerned, there are a few good rules. <BR/><BR/>1. If the condition is seriously affecting the way your child works or plays, then you need to tell.<BR/><BR/>2. If you can avoid it, try to wait until his peers are a bit mature... say year 10 (in Australia, that means aged 16).<BR/><BR/>3. If you can't avoid disclosure, it might be better to tell best friends rather than "everyone".<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately early disclosure can lead to a lot of problems. Sometimes schools unintentionally create a "remedial effect" which impairs a child's learning.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes closed-minded parents of other children will suggest that their child not play with children who have a condition.<BR/><BR/>Often other children will pick up on the disclosure as an excuse for bullying or will try to take advantage of your child.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-21399367518772825692009-02-18T03:19:00.000+11:002009-02-18T03:19:00.000+11:00Wonderful post and wonderful blog.I told my son wh...Wonderful post and wonderful blog.<BR/><BR/>I told my son while we were watching a documentary about the life of Albert Einstein. Talk about your role models!<BR/><BR/>What do you think about telling peers, either individually or as a group? In 5th grade, my son "came out" to his class and that seemed to help. Now that he is in 6th grade (Middle School)and has much more severe bullying problems, I wonder if "coming out" would cause more problems.Sminthiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09524106045781152121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-81134884735613674622009-02-17T05:39:00.000+11:002009-02-17T05:39:00.000+11:00Definetly educate others to be positive. Super pos...Definetly educate others to be positive. Super post.Casdokhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03497897393162856190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-15930619881614073092009-02-14T15:44:00.000+11:002009-02-14T15:44:00.000+11:00Hi you don't know me but i have been reading your ...Hi you don't know me but i have been reading your blog for a few months now. I have a blog a boy with Aspergers. I won a award called the lemonade award. I was given the chance to pass the same award to my top ten blogs relating to ASD. Your on of those ten:) Please pass by A boy with Aspergers and collect your award. http://aspergersinfo.wordpress.com<BR/>Thanks Claire Louise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-69402444010596285012009-02-12T16:02:00.000+11:002009-02-12T16:02:00.000+11:00A processing delay is very common amongst aspies. ...A processing delay is very common amongst aspies. When people speak to us, we have to;<BR/><BR/>1. Receive the noise<BR/><BR/>2. Filter out the backgrounds (we don't naturally filter backgrounds like NTs)<BR/><BR/>3. Hunt for hidden meanings/alternative meanings<BR/><BR/>4. Formuate an answer - often using sequential memory<BR/><BR/>5. Reply<BR/><BR/>There's sometimes an attempt to translate tone/expression but usually we're out of time and can't do that. (and we're not very good at it anyway).<BR/><BR/>I'm surprised the delay isn't longer.Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-85795295909137024062009-02-12T15:54:00.000+11:002009-02-12T15:54:00.000+11:00As far as when to let your child know---sometimes ...As far as when to let your child know---sometimes I think you have to let them know to protect them. In our case, our child had been diagnosed at 7 with Aspergers, but we didn't really have deep conversations with him or flat out tell him he was different until a year later when his academic performances were becoming less than perfect because of a teacher who relied heavily on neatness and speed. All of the sudden someone who has always excelled academically was falling behind and he was beginning to feel stupid because he could not process his answers fast enough. This year we have talked with him a lot about how he is an Aspie and how his brain just "works differently" and that he is not dumb in any way, just that he processes differently. It has been a wonderful help also by the realization of my spouse with Aspergers that we can easily have them relate together. My son knows he's different, but he's proud when I say "different like dad" and he knows dad is smart and wonderful and that doesn't make him bad at all.<BR/><BR/>I think the hardest parts come with not knowing that you are different, but how you're going to get through the differences. Right now it is school in particular. We are working right now to set up an official IEP to hopefully make his teacher grade better by knowledge rather by timed performance. I don't know exactly how or what we will do. <BR/><BR/>Is processing delay a normal thing for Aspies? My husband and my son both have quite a delay after I ask them a question before they can spit out an answer.Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05737471455195883868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-62523526708483580852009-02-11T14:37:00.000+11:002009-02-11T14:37:00.000+11:00Thanks Rachel, "positive role model" is a more app...Thanks Rachel, "positive role model" is a more appropriate term; not only because it's PC but also because we want to discourage "blind following"Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-1280925219943084882009-02-11T14:28:00.000+11:002009-02-11T14:28:00.000+11:00Maybe a better term than "idol" would be "positive...Maybe a better term than "idol" would be "positive role model"--someone who has overcome difficulties and has a great deal of wisdom to show for it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-82507755600629206042009-02-10T19:52:00.000+11:002009-02-10T19:52:00.000+11:00Thanks for the comments. You're right that we sho...Thanks for the comments. You're right that we shouldn't try to hide negativity. I guess my intentions weren't terribly clear in this regard.<BR/><BR/>What I'm trying to suggest is that when choosing an "idol" that parents avoid people with drug problems/dependencies or major lifestyle issues. Minor flaws, are to be encouraged as it makes the idols more "human".Gavin Bollardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13833941398375568706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4841851020927689161.post-35358998559585755252009-02-10T18:11:00.000+11:002009-02-10T18:11:00.000+11:00Firstly, permit me to say thanks for your work in ...Firstly, permit me to say thanks for your work in these past few posts. This is a dificult subject and I believe that you have given a very even keeled and unbiased view.<BR/><BR/>Like yourself, I can only state things from my point of view. However I would suggest that where a real life idol is sought that the parents not only concetrate on the possitives but also allow the child to see the negatives, without dwelling ont hem. I believe that this will give the child a more balanced view of the road ahead. <BR/><BR/>I, myself, have a rather bad habit of being a perfectionist. If someone is held up as a shining example of what I could be and I fail to achieve that status I can become very dispondent. While having an idol is no doubt a good thing for a child this idol should not be held up as faultless and pure because as the child grows and fails to achieve the percieved level of thier idol it can work against them. Instead an idol should be looked on as a person, with faults and flaws, but someone who overcame them and became stronger for it. I believe that this is a better way since it shows that while the idol is someone to be looked up the path they used to get there was not an easy walk in the park, in essence perpairing the child for the raod ahead.<BR/><BR/>Just a thought though.The Storytellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13895066854649005000noreply@blogger.com