Life with Aspergers

Now that my kids are around their mid-teens, the question of driving is starting to come up. Not from them of course because it’s pretty common for kids on the spectrum to have little or no interest in driving - but from friends and family. In today’s society, the means and ability to drive is very important, particularly if you live outside the inner city areas, you have tools that you need to carry for work or you have a job that moves from place to place. Like most things, driving is a skill that’s best mastered while you’re young Is it Safe? One of the first questions that people ask regarding Asperger’s syndrome and driving is “is it safe?”. Since people with Asperger’s syndrome are, by definition, highly functional, they certainly can have a good grasp of the concepts and dangers of driving. They’re able to follow road rules and they’re able to devote the attention needed to driving. In general terms and under normal circumstances, driving with Asperger’s is no more o...

Only a few years back, I remember saying that I'd never need to wear a watch again because the date and time was on my phone, which I carry everywhere. About two years ago I picked up a Fitbit Charge HR on a whim and it's been my faithful companion ever since.  Recently I had an issue with it and I was without the device for a couple of weeks. I was surprised by how much I missed it while it was gone.  It got me thinking about how exactly it was adding value to my life. What I Use The fitbit I use is one of the smallest and cheapest devices, the Fitbit Charge HR. I got it because I was interested in a fitbit and because my family has a history of heart disease. I chose the model just above the base because it supported heart rate monitoring. The device is paired to my home computer and to my apple iPhone (I personally prefer android but my work phone is currently apple). We also have a phone system at work which can be set to ring your mobile and desk phone at th...

Early relationships with people who have Asperger's syndrome quite often take on some very “elastic” properties. Sometimes they're really close and at other times they're quite distant. Sometimes it seems that the closer their neurotypical partner gets, the more the partner with Aspergers pulls away. In this post, I want to look at the reasons for this behaviour. Establishing the initial relationship  For the most part people with Aspergers tend to be more introverted or at least, less comfortable around others. This makes it very difficult to establish the relationship. Dropping hints generally won't work and person with Aspergers is likely to either completely miss any “signals” or alternatively, interpret literally everything as some kind of signal. The best way to get the attention of someone with Aspergers is to “say what you want”. State your intentions clearly and concisely, leaving no room for error or misinterpretation. If you find it difficult to ...

Social Engagement & the Steps to Being Social: A Practical Guide for Teaching Social Skills to Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Kathleen Mo Taylor, OTR/L and Marci Laurel, MA CCC I was quite looking forward to reading this book, assuming from the title that it would be a handbook. As it turns out, it's a textbook which means that it targets a very different audience. As a textbook, the material is not aimed at parents and aides but rather, at academia. It's a well written book which covers a lot of ground in terms of establishing and improving social contact between people on the autism spectrum and others. The early chapters cover topics including the getting and retention of attention. There are also some exercises which are designed to increase attention span. The four sections of social learning are; Self Regulation Shared Space Shared Focus Shared Pleasure These categories contain many sub-categories which move your child from noticing th...

Stressed Out! For Parents: How to Be Calm, Confident & Focused by Dr Ben Bernstein with Michelle Packard, author of Family Ever After.  Stressed out is a bit different to the books that I normally review on Life with Aspergers, particularly because it has no direct connection to autism. Nevertheless, stress is something that most parents are very familiar with, particularly parents with children on the spectrum. Stress is also something that people with Autism, Aspergers or Anxiety experience a great deal. Throughout the book, it sets up scenes of parental stress ranging from bad behaviour to unmet expectations and full-on family disputes. In those early chapters, I kept expecting the information on calming down to be followed by alternate and workable solutions. There are no solutions to parenting problems in this book. It's simply “not that kind of book”. This book aims to make you a better parent but not because of solutions to specific problems. Like the serenit...

My Wonderful Fran: The Biography of an Amazing Girl by Paul Spelzini My Wonderful Fran is a touching memoir of a very talented girl by her father. It covers her life in a very natural and straightforward way, covering her likes and dislikes, family relationships, holidays, school and sports. While the word Aspergers is used a lot in the book, it's really much more a study of how schizophrenia can quietly enter the lives of families and how powerless we can be without appropriate support networks. If you're the parent of a child with schizophrenia or chronic depression or if your child has been behaving suspiciously with possible intentions of suicide, then you need to read this book. Ultimately, My Wonderful Fran is about how even the brightest and most gifted of us, with the best of families, can stumble in difficult circumstances. My Wonderful Fran; The Biography of an Amazing Girl by Paul Spelzini is available in hardback, paperback and kindle form...

So, it's happened. Donald Trump is now the President of the United States. There's been a media frenzy and amongst it all, barely even acknowledged, a wave of suicides. So, whose fault is it? Trump's? ours? The media? The victims? More importantly, what can we do to protect our own? The Trump presidency is a macrocosm of the microcosm I currently find myself in. Yeah, it's all about me…. it's a similar microcosm to what many people, particularly those with differences, find themselves in every day. ...and the answers are just as simple, and elusive. It's not the end, we're still here! Despite all his pre-election rants, no president has the authority to take away basic human rights. They can't launch nuclear weapons simply because they don't like somebody and they're not going to wander through homes deporting or imprisoning people simply because of where they were born or what their sexual preference is. To suggest otherwise is “fea...