Life with Aspergers

This is part two of a two part series intended to help autistic adults travelling and sightseeing.  Part one deals with Logistics and Risk Management. I also wrote a post on travelling with autistic children . Travel is essential for relaxation and exploration but more importantly, as the phrase goes, it broadens the mind.  Travel gets us away from our day-to-day routines and out of "ruts". It forms a cornerstone to understanding the world as others see it. While there are various types of travel ranging from day-trips to globetrotting, this series focuses on longer getaways and particularly on visiting new and interesting places. As explained in my previous post, I have a strong preference for group travel with tour companies so a lot of what is presented in this post will be particularly relevant to that.  The Daily Plan Whether you are travelling alone, with a partner or with a large group, you still need to have your own individualized daily plan. Many autistics stru...

Autistic people are an incredibly diverse group, even within the broader neurodivergent community. We are diverse because we do not share all the same strengths and weaknesses, we have vastly different talents and interests. Other factors, such as our upbringing, political factors and our economic status also play key roles in determining our ability to operate within society. This is why a “one-size-fits-all” approach to housing simply doesn't work. In this post, I want to talk about the different types of living arrangements that autistic people may find themselves in and I want to discuss why some arrangements may be better suited to various sub-groups of individuals. There are essentially three major styles of living; Independent Living Supported Living  Group or Residential Care  For many, the ideal path is to first explore independent living, as it offers the most autonomy. However, it's crucial to find the option that best fits an individual's unique needs. It’s also...

Catchy title aside, I'm not about to suggest that you need to kick all your autistic kids out of home. I want to cover one specific recent instance for us and I want to look at the reasons why we believed that it would work while others thought it might fail. Why we did it anyway and why we feel it is succeeding. Image by Jose Antonio Alba from Pixabay Kids who Stall We have a lot of friends and relatives who have kids on and off the spectrum who have "stalled". By stalling, I mean that they've become; Permanently at home Often Unemployed Caught in unproductive routines (TV, Gaming, Extra Sleeping, Overuse of Routine) Often stalling is linked to other obsessions, such as computer gaming but it also appears in non-gamers and active kids. People can get into a stall pattern simply by filling their entire lives up with chores and leaving no room for themselves to forge ahead.  There are a lot of reasons why stalling has become common in the last couple of generations in...

  It's finally happened, my eldest son, now 19.5 has decided that he's ready to learn how to drive. He's made the effort, with admittedly quite a bit of prompting, to pass the written part of the exam. He's got his "L" plates and it's time for the practical side of the lesson.  While there's not a huge amount of difference between teaching someone on the autism spectrum and teaching someone who isn't, there are a few little things that are important.  The Road Rules For the most part, kids on the spectrum love rules. They're great. Instead of being all different shades of grey, road rules are pretty black and white. There's a side of the road that you drive on. There's give way and stop signs, and there are speed limits.  Unfortunately, it's not all rules. A lot of driving is actually etiquette. It's about being aware that other people make mistakes or that some people are in a rush. If a car is driving erratically, it's bes...

Last week, I read a post from a lady who didn't feel accepted by her partner. The interesting thing was that while she knew what she wanted to say, she felt that she couldn't talk to him about her autism.  She was considering the next steps in her relationship but was going into it without the tools to communicate effectively.  Until quite recently, people with autism tended to fall into two broad categories;  Those who were diagnosed with autism because they exhibited behaviours to such an extent that they were unable to get into long term relationships, and Those who went undiagnosed into a relationship.  These days however, it's much more common for people entering a relationship to know that they're on the autism spectrum. In this post, I want to look at the benefits of disclosing autism to prospective partners. Why is it becoming more common? A couple of decades ago, it was relatively uncommon for people to get married with the knowledge that...

In my last post , I talked about how important it is to get your kids on the spectrum into longer-term work experience, how to make the most of their last year of schooling and how foster independence. I also mentioned how important it is to ensure that you choose to work in an area that aligns with your special interest.  In this post, I want to look at finding, landing and keeping a job. Most of the advice here applies to anyone, however I've tried to take into account some of the difficulties that people on the spectrum face.  Finding Jobs These days, finding a job can be quite difficult especially considering the unemployment rate and the fact that so many people have multiple degrees. People on the spectrum are quite often "under-employed", meaning that they're in jobs where their skills are under-utilised. They're also less likely to have a degree than their non-autistic peers even though they certainly have the ability to get one. One of many issue...

It's becoming an increasingly common story, a capable 20+ year old with Asperger's syndrome, living at home with their parents, unwilling to leave the comfort of the house - or their gaming console. There's a lot to discuss in this scenario but I want to break it down into three posts. Reasons for the Behaviour Preventing the Behaviour  Changing the Behaviour In this post, I want to touch on whether or not there are valid excuses for this behaviour. Excuse or No Excuse? For the most part, there aren't too many good excuses for this kind of behaviour in a young adult with reasonable communication skills.  Asperger's syndrome itself is not an excuse. That said, there are actually, some good excuses for this kind of behaviour; Lower Functioning Individuals;  I specifically mentioned “capable” earlier as a means of “filtering out” individuals who have difficulties which are significant enough to make them a danger to themselves or others, or who...