Life with Aspergers

The month of April is “Light it up blue for autism” month. It's the month where we we embrace exciting concepts like autism “awareness” (ah, so that's the word we use to describe “these people”) and autism “acceptance”, (ok, so I guess we can't stone them to death anymore**). ** That's a joke by the way.  They might have been started with the best of intentions but I'm really not sure that they help as much as they'd like us to think. In fact, it's just possible that they do more harm than good. It's not Just Autism  There are a lot of charities around which gear up on certain months. In particular, there are the yellow cancer charities and the pink breast cancer ones. The various charities collect funds from the sale of ribbons, bears, chocolates and other goodies. The more established of these charities also partner with grocery stores and manufacturers to produce specific items, such as bread in marked packaging, where a certain percentag...

I was recently asked about my diagnosis and about the whole genetic link in Asperger's Syndrome. I thought I'd already answered this somewhere on the blog but when I didn't find it, I figured that it was something that I should clarify.  Yes, I do have Asperger's syndrome. I also have a son, currently aged 16 with Asperger's and NVLD and ADHD(I). I have a second son with HFA but since he's very verbal, even more son than his older brother, it's clearly Asperger's now... or would be if the diagnosis of Asperger's still existed.  You can find out more about my family and I on the " About page " and you can find out more about me specifically via my four part introduction. See here for Parts  One ,  Two ,  Three  and  Four . Part four in particular talks about diagnosis. "This Book is About You" In a nutshell though, my eldest child was diagnosed at 5. His differences were picked up by his teachers who met with us severa...

Asperger's Are Us (2016) Running Time: 82 minutes Directed by Alex Lehman Starring: Noah Britton, Ethan Finlan, Jack Hanke, New Michael Ingemi Asperger's Are Us is an independent documentary about the "last show" of a comedy troupe comprised of four individuals with Asperger's syndrome.  When the documentary starts, the group have already been performing together for a few years and as they've all reached College age and are about to go their separate ways, they decide to put on one final show. It's quite a well put-together documentary which at times feels so "mocumentary" that it's a little like "the office". It features interviews with the boys themselves as well as with their parents.  While the popular consensus is that comedy doesn't come easy to people with Asperger's Syndrome, I'm of the opinion that Asperger's humour doesn't come easy to neurotypical people. There's a lot of very funny b...

One of the more bizarre questions on the Asperger's diagnostic forms concepts whether the person has an “unusual gait”.  I remember reading that and thinking that I certainly didn't fit the profile in that instance. I think that the first image that popped into my head at that point was John Cleese doing the “Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch. Of course, the reality of the unusual gait is “completely different”. Then and Now It was only later that I remembered that my wife, whom I met at age 14, used to tell everyone to watch out for my “funny running style”; something that clearly amused my schoolmates. Could this be the famed “unusual gait”. Fast forward about 33 years and I find that my work colleagues pick up on my “unusual gait” as I pass them on the street. Clearly there's something really different about how I walk. Not “wrong”, just different. In fact, it's clearly not wrong because I walk more than most people and done random walks of up to 50km...

Throughout my life, I've had people reacting to me in a fairly protective manner. If I was a different type of person, I'd probably find it quite patronising but in my case, I don't mind it and I even find it helpful at times. I know a lot of people on the spectrum who react quite differently, greeting this type of treatment with anger. Getting frustrated with this treatment is more or less the same as being a feminist and being frustrated with men who open doors for you. You may find it offensive but the people who are doing these things for you generally mean positive things.  How are we detectable? When I was younger, I used to assume that people knew about my hearing loss and were simply helping out. I remember having to say to my teachers at school, “I'm deaf, I'm not dumb”. Recently it's begun to dawn on me that this isn't deafness, it's not even knowledge of my place on the autism spectrum. It's simply the “vibes” that I put out. T...

He doesn't look autistic to me...  It's a phrase that every parent of a child on the autism spectrum dreads. Apparently it's meant as a compliment but in reality it's a fairly impressive bit of “multiple insulting“. Disclaimer: Nick Cage doesn't necessarily have autism but I used this photo because it has the right kind of "weird face" required to match the offending phrase. Why is this so insulting? On the one hand,  it's insulting to all people with autism because it suggests that all children with autism can be identified by presumably defective physical traits making them “inferior” to their neurotypical counterparts in yet another way. On the other hand, it's insulting to the person who has autism and their carers because it belittles their struggle and challenges the idea that they have anything to complain about. People often use the offending phrase to suggest that a child or adult doesn't need special treatment or support ...

Now that my kids are around their mid-teens, the question of driving is starting to come up. Not from them of course because it’s pretty common for kids on the spectrum to have little or no interest in driving - but from friends and family. In today’s society, the means and ability to drive is very important, particularly if you live outside the inner city areas, you have tools that you need to carry for work or you have a job that moves from place to place. Like most things, driving is a skill that’s best mastered while you’re young Is it Safe? One of the first questions that people ask regarding Asperger’s syndrome and driving is “is it safe?”. Since people with Asperger’s syndrome are, by definition, highly functional, they certainly can have a good grasp of the concepts and dangers of driving. They’re able to follow road rules and they’re able to devote the attention needed to driving. In general terms and under normal circumstances, driving with Asperger’s is no more o...