Life with Aspergers

As we wind down April, the month of "light it up blue", "autism awareness" and "autism acceptance", I wanted to ponder the other side of the equation. At the beginning of the month, I talked about how those of us on the spectrum needed to represent ourselves . Now I want to look at what we really need from people who aren't on the spectrum.  As usual, the best way to answer that question is to pick a group which already has good accommodations and look at how this could apply to autism. Beyond Acceptance, the example of the blind.  My comparison point this time is blind people. I'm not suggesting that nothing more can be done for them but rather that their needs are understood and catered for well beyond simple "acceptance". Our social care of visually impaired people is impressive and something that other groups should strive to match. So, how are the visually impaired being looked after by society? Braille: It's not jus...

Over the years, April has been associated with the "Light it up Blue" campaign launched by the group "Autism Speaks". The campaign originally advocated awareness and then acceptance.   It's something that I've posted about more than once before on this blog.   Autism Politics: Puzzle Pieces and Rainbows  - March 2012 How to do More for Families with Autism than just being "Aware" of it - April 2014 Doing Better than Light it up Blue - April 2017 In recent years, the campaign has changed from something that people with autism were wary of to a cause that is actually opposed by the majority of them. Autism Doesn't "Speak" There are many reasons for this shift but in my opinion, the fact that "autism speaks" is entirely controlled by people without autism is probably the major factor. It's not that they've never had people with autism on their board; they've had some famous people including John El...

You've been hounding your kid for a week to clean up his room and you finally go in because you need to pick up his washing or he'll have nothing to wear to school next week. You're shocked to find a little pile of candy wrappers, often crawling with ants. The carpet is a mess and the bin is only an arm's length away.  Yes, you've got a food wrapper mess kid. I'm not sure if this is a  Asperger’s thing or just a normal teenager thing but I suspect that the problem is a little worse with kids on the spectrum. Junk Food is Harmful. Right? There's no denying that junk food isn't a healthy option or that in large quantities it will create obesity issues. It's important to try to impose some limits on your children’s eating habits. What you don't want to do is get so hung up on the idea of cutting out sugar that you drive these behaviours underground.  After all, your kids will eventually be in a position where they have their own money...

One of the many interesting things about people on the autism spectrum is that the abilities of most people seem to be wildly underestimated. It’s hard to come up with a simple reason why this is the case but the results can have catastrophic effects on their lives and families. One of the most problematic areas of autism is communication. It’s often assumed that kids who don’t reach their speech milestones by ages 4-5 will never communicate; or at the very least that they will never speak. This is not necessarily the case and as circumstances change, new technologies develop and your children get a better “handle” on their differences, speech can become a very real possibility.  Ending the Milestones Unfortunately, some parents have already given up by the time their children are ready to develop language and they never have a chance to reach their potential. This is understandable as parents can only continue with normal milestones for a limited time before they need s...

Uniquely Normal: Tapping The Reservoir of Normalcy To Treat Autism by Robert J. Bernstein Uniquely Normal is a very impressive book which looks at a number of cases over Robert Bernstein's career ranging from children as young as two to adults aged sixty-five. It's quite a different book to the usual "parent's guides" that cover the subject because this is more a collection of abbreviated case studies. Robert's techniques for treating conditions associated with autism are unique and very effective and as you progress through the book you'll begin to understand what to look for in your own children and how you can use those "moments of normalcy" to open up a larger world for them. In the introduction to the book, Robert talks about growing up with a brother on the autism spectrum. I find that the best writers on autism are either writers with autism themselves or writers with a life-long connection to autism that usually starts with a sibl...

I love Christmas. I love all the flashing lights, the familiar Christmas carols and the decorations. I didn't really enjoy visiting relatives when I was little but now I really love the opportunity to catch up with people I haven't seen for a long time. Unfortunately, my view isn't the most common view among people with Asperger's syndrome and many people find Christmas to be a special kind of torture.  In this post, I'll be addressing some of the ways that you can prepare for common sensory issues which affect adults and children during Christmas and similar festivities.  Establishing Safety Establishing safety wherever you go is probably the most important advice I can give anyone with sensory issues. Sometimes pushing the boundaries on your sensory issues can backfire and particularly in children, can lead them to run straight into dangerous areas.  Giving them safe places to go and safe people to go to will greatly alleviate the strain.  Choose a Safe Ar...

When I was younger, I didn't really "make friends". They made me. Come to think of it. Nothing has really changed. It's not that I'm an unfriendly person, it's just that I can never figure out the boundaries between friends and acquaintances. To me, people are just people and I generally respond to them how they respond to me.  I don't think that I'd have any friends, only acquaintances, if people didn't persist in making friends with me - and  I'm very grateful for their friendship and support. Bonding over Star Wars When I was in primary school, I had a birthday party. My parents invited a small group of children and I remember having difficulty knowing who to invite. The list started off with the one friend that I actually had, plus any kids who had invited me to their parties at some point (bad luck if you didn't have a party).  From there, I think the group would have been all girls if my parents hadn't insisted otherwise. I ...