Life with Aspergers

Well, it's December again and there's bound to be a lot of gifts and socialising, so it seems appropriate to talk about Aspergers and inappropriate gifts and comments... A lot of people think that those with Asperger's syndrome are insensitive when it comes to gifts. In truth, I think we're actually trying too hard. One of the things that is drummed into our heads from the time we first start giving and receiving gifts is that "it's the thought that counts".  Consequently, I try very hard when writing cards or choosing gifts, to put a whole lot of thought and personalisation into them. I consider giving soap or other "non-specific" items to be a failure on my part. It means that I haven't put adequate thought into the gift. Sadly, I think that while lots of people appreciate this level of thought, I end up offending many more people than I would if I just handed over a novelty soap. Have a look at this clip from the Big Bang Theo...

It’s taken me most of my adult life to really understand friendship. Even then, I don’t feel like I really understand more than the most basic of concepts. I'm sure it’s easy for other people but for me, the lines between friend, acquaintance, user and colleague are all very blurred and I often can’t tell one from the other.  In my early years, long before I understood what Asperger’s syndrome was, I used to think that my problems making friends were all down to my hearing loss. After all, I reasoned, If I couldn't hear people well enough to converse easily, then obviously my friend-making and friend-keeping skills would suffer.  This would have been a great theory if I hadn't lived next door to a very popular boy with a much worse hearing issue than I had. For the first ten years of my life, that boy next door was my only friend - except of course, for my dog. When he was on holidays, and that was quite often, I would simply play by myself.  I used to be a little jealous...

You could be forgiven for thinking that bullying is “something that happens to kids”. After all, that’s how the media portrays it.  The theory is that if bullying happens to adults, it’s rare, it’s obvious and it’s generally the work of “rednecks” or similar people who lack the education and/or social exposure to be more accepting of others.  In reality, bullying is as common, as pervasive and as destructive amongst adults as it is among kids. The difference is that the vast majority of adult bullying goes undetected - or at least unchallenged by most adult bystanders. We expect our children to report bullying and yet we fail to do it ourselves. In order to really understand bullying, you have to know what it means. Google defines bullying as to; “use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something”. Bullying is Intentional I think this is a very good definition. It makes it clear that there is an intended result to...

No More Victims Protecting those with Autism from Cyber Bullying, Internet Predators and Scams  by Dr Jed Baker Coming less than a week after a terribly mishandled bullying case which destroyed my five year career in scouting, I guess I had unrealistically high expectations for this book. While it didn't measure up to my expectations, it was nevertheless a useful and practical booklet covering the subject of Internet predators and scams.  There's a mention of autism but really, it's something that can be summed up in one or two sentences. People with autism spend a lot of time online, they are naive and are easily baited. I really wasn't happy with the bullying section of this book. The section didn't start with a definition of bullying but described cyber-bullying thus; " Cyber Bullying is a term typically used to describe emotional victimisation and abuse among school and college aged individuals ".  This is a terrible description which makes i...

I was reading an article about a boy with autism who was silenced at a school board meeting because the subject was approaching dangerous legal ground.  Big thanks to Caitlin for pointing this one out.  I don't have any problems with the silencing because I fully understand the reasons and I don't think it was discriminatory. What got my attention though was the boy's response to being silenced; Christian concluded his talk by telling the audience that his self-advocacy work had taught him, "Nothing for me, without me," and left the microphone. That's something for his parents to be really proud of. I started thinking about this in more detail, thinking about how my wife and I have been going to IEP meetings without our sons and how the things we've been doing for them have been "without them".  I think there's a big flaw in our plans. The Initial IEP Meetings There's no doubt that the initial IEP meetings need to be conducted...

I've travelled a bit with my kids recently and each time it seems to be the same things which create the biggest problems. The flight itself is usually quite good, especially nowadays as there are so many electronic distractions. My kids took their iPads with them last time and they kept busy for the entire 10 hour flight.  No, it's the other aspects of flying which present a challenge.    Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay Waiting Airports are full of waiting areas. Flights always seem to do the unexpected, like get cancelled or delayed and then the waiting begins. Even before you get to the airport, there's a lot of waiting around in anticipation. It's not something that special needs kids are very good at, especially when their iPads are packed away preserving their batteries for the flight. In my kids case, waiting means a whole lot of pushing and shoving and fighting. We have to keep them separated with at least one parent sitting in between them. It's especi...

My latest article on Special-ism is now available;  It's called Reducing Computer Overuse Problems in Kids with Special Needs  and no, it's not all about telling your kids to get off their computers and go outside. In fact, it's about dealing with a problem which isn't going to go away. If your kids spend a lot of time on computers, phones, iPads, androids or any other type of device requiring a lot of fine motor skill in their hands, then you ought to read this. After you've read the article, you're going to want to know about exercises that you can do to reduce your issues. Here's some great youtube resources; Easy Strengthening Exercises for Carpal Tunnel How to check your computer setup to see if it's egonomic Stretches that you can do at your work desk Also, if you're interested in Dragon, which is a product I've used successfully for years, here's their site . The dictate edition lets you record into a voice recorder an...