Life with Aspergers

In my first post on this subject, I introduced eight steps to financial independence and began working through them, explaining what they were and how some autistic people may experience difficulty with them. That first post covers: Developing the right mindset, Budgeting and tracking expenses, Saving, and Debt management. In my second post , I covered the next two topics: Generating Income and Making Your Money Work for You (i.e., Investments). In this final post, I will cover Building Good Credit and How to Review and Adjust Your Plans for the Future . But first, I want to clarify a point raised by one of my readers . Why Do I think Autistic People are "Bad with Money"? It's a good question, especially since I'm writing a series aimed at helping people do better in this area. The answer is simple: I don't. I have met many autistic people who are absolute wizards with financials , particularly if they have finance as a special interest. Unfortunately, not every...

These last few weeks have been unprecedented. Who would have thought that we'd reach a point where a pandemic caused a lockdown in most countries, where economies were are being beaten down and life as we know it is different, at least for the immediate future.  For autistic adults and children, these sweeping changes are their worst nightmare. People with autism work best with routine and don't handle change well at the best of times. The changes that are happening everywhere right now are creating a lot of stress. I want to use this post to talk about how we can reduce that stress and make the lockdown period easier. Keep the Conversation Going One of the best ways to lower the stress in people with autism is to keep conversations going. Don't avoid the topic but instead discuss it openly, honestly and positively. If you're a parent, guardian or teacher, talking to children or people with lower abilities to understand, you'll need to adjust your language ...

Kids with Asperger's work best with rules and lists to follow. This applies in more or less every aspect of their lives. It's major part of their development and as a parent, it's up to you to help your kids to learn how to make rules and lists for themselves.  I've spoken about lists before, particularly in an article over at Special-Ism  and of course, I've talked about rules here on LWA before. Today I want to talk about more general rules that you can use to help your kids get more out of life.  Life Rules To be effective, life rules need to be general. For example, "Always look both ways before you cross the street" is a great life rule, while "Remember to look both ways before you cross from the bus to school" is not. It's too specific. Life rules also need to be concise because even with repeated drilling, your kids aren't going to remember long and convoluted rules. Finally, life rules need to be self-explanatory --...

In my last few posts, I've looked at the positive and negative effects of media and device access for children with Asperger's syndrome.  It's clear that while our children certainly benefit more from the media than their neurotypical peers, excessive access is still quite harmful. In this post, I want to look at some techniques for limiting media access and overcoming the negatives in a sustainable way. A word on Sustainability No technique is worth using unless it is sustainable. If your partner isn't going to stick to the rules and routine, then it simply won't work. Similarly, if you think that you can only stick to a new routine for a few weeks, then it's no good. In that case, you should choose a different routine - one that is sustainable. The Use of Rules and Routines Children with Asperger's syndrome handle rules extremely well. That's not to say that they will obey them without reinforcement but simply that clearly stated (and written)...

How an Individual Education Plan (IEP) is Structured An IEP is designed to be a "flow-on" document where the issues are identified up-front and the remainder of the document covers methods of dealing with them. The IEP will start with a bit of information about the child, the diagnosis, who is present at the meeting, etc. I'm not going to cover this bit as it's simply box-ticking on the form. The first part of the IEP will attempt to ask and answer two questions; 1. What are the child's strengths and interests? 2. What are the perceived weaknesses of the child? It is important to get these questions properly answered as the entire remainder of the IEP will reference them. This post will attempt to provide some background on the sorts of things that should be in these areas with particular emphasis on their relevance to the aspergers condition. Keep in mind though that aspergers manifests itself differently from one individual to another and that all c...

As I mentioned in my last post, many of the problems with aspie love stem from the aspie's inability to find love or to receive and interpret appropriate signals from partners. There are a number of factors influencing aspie courtship and these include; General Shyness Aspies are usually fairly "shy" beings - not just with the opposite sex but with everyone. This shyness is even more problematic with people in whom they have an interest. Often, the aspie will simply look or smile at their intended partner and assume that this is enough to "call" the other person's attention. If the aspie stares too long without proper conversation, it becomes "creepy" and they will lose any opportunity they may have had. Aspies generally need to be approached since they'll rarely do any approaching of their own. The Naive Mind Aspies tend to appear very naieve and sometimes, we are. More often however, while we are well aware of the scope of human endeavors,...

Aspies are often described as unfriendly, yet we (reportedly) have the unique ability to be friendly with everyone regardless of physical characteristics such as age or color. So why are we perceived as being so unfriendly? The Early Morning Aspie-Initiated Hello In the morning as I stroll through my office to get a cup of coffee, there are always a lot of people with their heads down doing work, looking for things or otherwise engaged in activities. Interrupting them to say "Good Morning" makes no sense to me. In any case, how do I know if it's good? and don't they already know that it's morning? Usually, I'll truncate my "sayings" to Hello, or Morning, and even then, I'll say it very quietly. I just don't get it you see. Half of the people in my office will ask me a work-related question at some point during the day and I'll often greet them with a "hello" then. The other half usually don't ask for help and can probab...

Much has been made in the literature about the rigidity of the Aspie. A good example of this is their "resistance to change". Often the observed behavior isn't a resistance to change, but a binding to a particular rule or rule set. The aspie is, to a certain extent, controlled by rules. The impact of these invisible rules on their behavior should not be underestimated. It is often a source of conflict and can also be the source of aspie depression. Where do these Rules come from? The majority of the aspie's rules come from their own environment. They can be communicated directly or implied. In some cases, the aspie will completely misunderstand directions and create an internal rule that isn't necessarily in their best interests. Changing these rules is difficult, especially when they've been in force for an extended period. An example When I was quite young, a grandparent saw a boy give me a "suck" on his chupa-chop (a lolly on a stick). Obv...