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Showing posts from April, 2012

How the rules of relationships need to change to accommodate the needs of meltdown-prone adults

Last time, I talked about adult meltdowns and how they're just as real as meltdowns in children but are usually more controlled (due mainly to experience and self-knowledge). I also talked about how both physical and emotional restraint can bring about a more explosive and dangerous meltdown.  Today, I want to discuss how meltdowns occur in relationships and how keep your family and possessions safe.


I've had new couples tell me that they're getting married and that they've "perfect for each other" because they've never had a fight - or even a disagreement. I'm usually far from impressed with this degree of "love" and suggest that they at least wait until they've had a few fights. You see, some people fight dirty. Some people give in too easily and some people hold grudges. It's really not a good idea to settle into a long term relationship without a good idea of how you and your partner fight, what tips them over the edge and how to …

Article: Using Visual Aids to Take Advantage of Your Child's Visual Learning Style

Today I'm blogging over at Special-ism.

My post is about visual learners and how we need to take advantage of the visual aids around us.  That's right, computers and TV are often considered to be bad for children but actually, they're some of the best tools for visual learners.

I also talk about taking visual learners to real-life places and about experimentation and play within the home.

Click here to read it.

Adult Meltdowns and the Problems of Restraint

I was asked by a reader if I could write something about Adult Meltdowns.  This is my attempt.  It's not terribly good because I find this topic very difficult to write about.  

In children, meltdowns are sometimes incorrectly referred to as "tantrums".  I've talked about the differences between a meltdown and a tantrum before so I won't bore you with the details again.

The key things to remember about meltdowns are as follows;

They are not controlled eventsOnce "tripped" they can't be stopped easily.The reasons for them are often long term and/or sensory (even though the triggers are usually immediate).
A young child can often be restrained or moved to a place of safety during a meltdown but what about older kids and adults? As a parent, you can often tell your kids to "go to your room" and sometimes they even comply but what happens when it's your spouse that's having the meltdown?

Adult Meltdowns Do Happen (they're just usually…

Murdering Disabled People

One of the comments I received on my last post was a request for information on people with autism and other disabilities who were being killed by their parents and in some cases older siblings because they were considered to be too much of a burden. 


I started compiling a list but it quickly became too big for a comments response. In fact, I got tired of posting links after doing the last five years and the stories were really making me feel ill, so my apologies for non-completion.

It is with great sadness that I post this list.


2012 
March: Elizabeth Hodgins killed her 22-year-old son, George.



2011 
May: Yvonne Freaney killed her 11-year-old son, Glen.


2010

February: Gigi Jordan killed her 8 year old son, Jude
July: Saiqa Akhter killed her 2-year-old daughter and 5-year-old son

2008 
September: Allen Grabe killed his 13 year old son Jacob Grabe.
2006 May: Katherine McCarron age 3, smothered by her mother, Dr. Karen McCarron May: Nicolaas and Agnes DeGroot murdered their 19 Year old son, …

Murder is Murder no matter how you look at it.

I like to think that I can see both sides of many issues.  Sometimes it comes easily and sometimes it's a real struggle for me.


Recently, and with alarmingly increasing regularity, stories have been hitting the news of parents who kill their kids because they are unable to handle them.  Autism is often cited as the problem and for some reason, society seems to be very understanding. These stories are very painful to read but I read them anyway and I think really carefully over these situations looking for clues.  

In my own way I like to think that the world isn't evil, that people don't commit these criminal acts unless they are completely overwhelmed.  I try so very hard to attribute causes to things around these people, to blame society for a lack of services, to blame mental issues, high blood pressure or any other influence.

It's like making excuses for Hitler.

Maybe it makes me feel better to pretend that there isn't evil in the world but I'm lying to mysel…