Life with Aspergers

I've just finished reading the 2016 biography of Elon Musk by Ashlee Vance. It's a great read and I'd highly recommend it but this post is not a book review - and it's not a person review either. I'm not being judgemental.  Elon Musk has many traits which identify him as having Asperger's syndrome and I wanted to discuss how these traits help and hinder him because I see some of these traits in myself and others. Having a very visible and imperfect role model is a great thing and Asperger's and autistic kids in upcoming generations will benefit greatly from an understanding of Elon.  About the Book Since the book is the primary reason for my interest and it's such a great read, I want to start with a recommendation. I initially bought it for my dad but he convinced me to read it too. I'm a busy guy, so I got the audio book version. My kids are reading it now.  The Book is: Elon Musk: How the Billionaire CEO of SpaceX and Tesla is Shaping our Future ...

It's a phrase which seems to really infuriate a lot of members of the autism community, "we're all a little bit autistic" and yet, there's perhaps some truth to it.  In this post, we look at what it really means, where the dividing lines are and why it can be considered offensive.  The Autism Diagnosis Autism is diagnosed based on a specific set of criteria from the DSM, currently version 5. You can read this criteria in its correct form all over the web and you really should follow this. In fact, you should be diagnosed by an expert. In a "nutshell" though, autism is defined by the following; A Communications issues; Reductions in; back & forth conversation, eye contact, emotional communication, non-verbal communication, understanding of relationships, capability to make friends. B Behavioural issues; Stimming movements, echolia, resistance to change, fixed all-consuming special interests, sensory issues. C Removing Misdiagnosis To...

These days, Autism Spectrum Disorders aren't uncommon.  In fact, it’s pretty clear that there's a strong genetic link.  People with ASDs Collect Together  If you have autism in one form or another (or if you have a sibling on the autism spectrum), there's a better than average chance that you will have at least one child on the spectrum. It's not vaccines, it's not head trauma or defective parenting. It's genetics, pure and simple. The apple really doesn't fall too far from the tree. What's less well documented is that people with autism seem to prefer the company of others on the spectrum. In fact, it seems that we have an arguably better sense for detecting individuals like ourselves in social situations than regular people. The odds of a person on the autism spectrum partnering with another person on the autism spectrum seem to be higher than most. The upshot of this is that there are many families out there which contain more than one p...

Normally, I don't post correspondence here as I like to keep those things private and individual but I recently got an email from a parent who was concerned about a number of traits her son was showing.  I've replied to her questions in prose and as I was reading it back I thought it might be a useful thing to post, so... all identifying information removed and lots of extra links added, here it is. Eye Contact Inconsistent eye contact is generally a sign of "gaze avoidance" - ie: lack of eye contact. Darting ones eyes around the room during a conversation is a great avoidance tactic as it gives a person a break from being totally focused on the speaker - something which is quite painful at times. Some children with autism give good eye contact but most do not.  You might want to encourage your son to look at mouths instead as this keeps his head pointing in the right direction and reduces eye-darting without making uncomfortable eye contact. If he do...

You're so happy that your previously mostly silent child is now talking quite a bit. Where, until recently there had only been grunts and one-word answers, now there are whole sentences, often offering what seems to be profound insights on life.  It is only later, when you recognise the same turn of phrase, the same expression or the same accent, that you realise that all this time, he's been quoting from movies and TV shows. You feel cheated and your first impulse is to stamp it out.  The question is; should you? This condition is called echolia and it's very common in children and adults with Asperger's syndrome. There are many books and specialists who say "yes", very strongly "yes", you should stamp this behaviour out. It's even suggested by some of the most progressive writers in the field. I say no. In fact, I'm completely stunned by some of the people saying yes and it's led me to think that perhaps Echolia isn't a...

Today, I'm blogging over at Special-ism. The article is called; What is Stimming and why is it Important In the article, I look at those rocking, blinking, fidgeting and general noise-making behaviours commonly seen in children on the autism spectrum and I explain why they're important. Head over to Special-ism and have a read.  Note: With the closure of Special-Ism, this article is available in my free book  " The Special-Ism Posts volumes 1 and 2 " Also, because this was a fairly popular post, I've reprinted the article on my website; What is Stimming and why is it important

A lot of children on the spectrum or with other sensory needs have tendency to seek oral stimulation by chewing. In fact, chewing issues are far more common than you'd think and they have a lot of negative implications. In this post, I look at some of the chewing issues my children (and I) have and look at a great product for reducing the problem. Chewing on Shirts In my eldest son's case, his chewing mainly affects his clothing. He chews on his shirt collars, fronts and sleeves and his clothes often look tattered after only having been worn once or twice. There are a lot of negatives associated with chewing. For a start, chewing tends to bring children to the attention of bullies - particularly when the child has to walk around with a buttonless shirt or a shirt with holes in the front. Then there's the smell. It doesn't take long for chewed shirts to stink. In fact, they usually start to smell after a few hours. You can imagine the sorts of social issues this causes....

Acting is a gift which seems to come naturally to many people with autism and Asperger's syndrome yet only a select few follow it as a career.  Dan Ackroyd and Daryl Hannah are some of the most obvious and vocal examples but there are plenty of others.  Dan Ackroyd, on the extreme right has Asperger's Syndrome We are always acting I have a theory that people on the spectrum tend to be good at acting because they spend so much of their daily lives acting - and from a very early age. For example, it's true that autistic people often don't get jokes (although you rarely hear us complaining when neurotypicals don't get ours).  Young people quickly learn that it's easier to "act like you got the joke" than it is to take the brunt and embarrassment of being the only one who didn't. We are quite often called upon to "act amused". Then there are those sad and solemn occasions where sometimes we feel intense waves of emotion - and sometimes we don...

I'm just drawing your attention to an article I wrote for Hartley's 30 Families in 30 Days SPD Fundraiser. It's simply titled; The Bollard Family and it's available on Hartley's Life with 3 Boys . The URL is: http://www.hartleysboys.com/2010/10/bonus-bollard-family.html I figured that since the series was about sensory issues, I'd just pick one of the groups of sensory issues in our family to talk about. In this case, it's oral.

I've been meaning to talk about this for a while but things have just gotten away from me. Karen Krejcha, who blogs at Aspirations ( http://www.aspierations.blogspot.com/ ) has written a fascinating couple of articles called; Soothing and Self Stimming Behaviours in our Family Part 1 Part 2 These articles are both incredibly well thought out and cover a whole range of stimming with plenty of real-life examples. They are well worth a read.

As discussed a few posts back, I've been doing a lot of cub scout leader training recently. It's been very interesting because it has taught me a lot about myself. In this post I want to discuss a recent experiment with eye contact. Overcoming the Eye Contact Behavioural Issues I don't have a particular problem with eye contact compared to my aspie peers. This is because most people assume that I am giving good eye contact and don't hassle me about it. In truth, although I don't give good eye contact, I give great "lip contact", though probably not the kind you're thinking of. Being deaf has taught me to stare at people's lips when they talk as an aid to lip-reading. Since most people simply assume that I'm looking at their eyes when they're talking I haven't been subject to the constant corrections that other aspies have to suffer. Of course, it has its downsides too. Every now and then, someone will realise that I'm not look...

About a month ago, I attended a Scouts " Basic Leadership 2 " course and last weekend I finished off " Basic Leadership 3 ". The courses are a mix of written and practical work with a lot of group and "bonding" activities thrown in for good measure. It was an interesting exercise for me because I got the chance to "return to school" but this time with full knowledge of my aspie condition. It enabled me to make some rather profound observations about myself. More importantly though, I find myself wondering if this is what my son is going through at school. Group Work Although the course ran from Friday to Sunday, a lot of people didn't turn up until Saturday morning. My group started off with three people and grew to five. I coped really well with three people and I was able to participate in group discussions without feeling left out and without accidentally talking over the top of people. I mostly seemed to know when conversations ended and ...

It's a well known fact that people on the spectrum often have sensory issues but it's probably less well known that these sensory issues can trigger both positive and negative feelings. Sensory issues are one of the major reasons why many aspies find it difficult to work. They are also a major contributor to shutdowns, and to a lesser extent, meltdowns. In this two part series, I'll be looking at the five classic senses, (ignoring for the moment vestibular and proprioception) and talking about how they can bring on a meltdown situation.  Image by  Gerd Altmann  from  Pixabay The Sense of Hearing I think that one of the main reasons why I've been successful in the workplace is because my own susceptibility to sensory issues is reduced by comparison with others on the spectrum. Being deaf has certainly given me much greater tolerance for the sorts of sounds which irritate my peers. I've been reading Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg 's recent series of articles with gre...

Patterns are an aspies best friend. We're fascinated by them and we tend to notice them everywhere, intentional or otherwise. Patterns for Walking Floor tiles are truly incredible. Whenever I'm out walking, I find myself subconsciously following their patterns on the ground - even when they cause me to take a less direct route to my intended destination. It doesn't have to be tiles though. Even if there appears to be no pattern, I'll find one. Sometimes, I'll define my own. Often, when walking I'll define a pattern on the pavement; step in the centre of the pavers, step in the top sections only or less often, step only on the cracks. It must make my walking look funny but I really can't help it. I even do it while running - and more than once I've tripped and fallen because of this curious obsession. Stimming on Walls Wall tiles with illustrations are even more distracting. With these, I'll catch myself squinting to blur the lines and make new shapes...

Stimming is a repetitive behaviour performed by aspergers and autistic children because it "feels good" or calms them. I've covered stimming before (see: What is Stimming and what does it feel like ). In today's post, I'm going to cover a very specific type of stimming - visual stimming. Visual stimming can often confuse parents and lead them in the wrong direction - to optometrists for eye examinations or to other specialists to discuss facial tics. Instead, a few well aimed questions at your child may put the record straight. My History When I was a child, I used to engage in visual stimming quite a bit. It wasn't until much later, after I had been doing it increasingly for years, that my mother asked me what was going on. Until that time, I was not aware that when engaging in the activity, I presented anything at all to the outside world. In reality however, my visual Stimming made me look like I had a very bad squint or like my eyesight was very poor....