Skip to main content

Definitions & Disclaimers


Abelism: the view that the able-bodied are the norm in society, and that people who have disabilities must either strive to become that norm or should keep their distance from able-bodied people.

aspie: affectionate term for someone with Asperger's Syndrome.
Please note that some people with Asperger's Syndrome may find this term offensive and you should check with them before using it to describe them.

Curebie: A person who is obsessed with finding a cure for autism to the point of trying dangerous therapies rather than accepting the person with autism as they are.  
Note: People can want therapies to help their children better integrate into society (eg: Speech) without being a curebie.  

nt: neurotypical (normal-brained) person."
Normal" is a difficult term to justify. NT simply refers to the most common patterns of thinking.


Most of the generalizations offered on this site are things that affect me personally. I'm not offering any guarantees that they are asperger's related, though I suspect they are (otherwise I wouldn't be posting them here).

All aspies are unique and behavioral patterns are shaped by experience as much as genetics. Your experience may be significantly different to mine.

I have no medical background and all medical advice, terminology and discussion on this blog should be taken as layperson comments only.  You should always confirm medical advice with a doctor before proceeding.

Guest Posts

The aim for this blog is for it to be "my take" on Asperger's and Autism. As a result, guest posts are incredibly rare. I'm always happy to hear about new topics but I simply don't take guest posts.

If you want to talk about autism in this space, you can either do this via comments or you can post on the Life with Asperger's Facebook page.

Comments Policy

My comments policy for this blog is that all non-spam comments should be published regardless of whether or not I agree with the content and regardless of whether or not they may contain offensive material.  It's freedom of speech and sometimes disagreeing comments can provoke a lot of interesting thought and debate.

I will not make changes to the content of comments and will usually not make changes to my posts as a result of comments - preferring to create a new post and preserve "history".

The only other time that comments other than obvious spam will be rejected is when I feel that they have compromised someone's identity or made a major and unfair attack on a person/race/religion/ diagnostic  or disability status etc.  Please don't post email and contact information in comments and do not refer to people other than yourself by their full names.  Some people prefer to have their identities protected.

As a general rule, remember that the comments should be mainly directed at the posts rather than at other commenter  It's okay to disagree with someone but it is not okay to refer to them by name and then call them "stupid" or any other derogatory terms.  If in doubt, leave names out.

If you feel that I've approved a comment which should not be displayed, please let me know.  Sometimes I don't immediately comprehend that something is insulting and/or dangerous.  I welcome your feedback on such issues.

If your comment is removed due to infringement, I'll happily accept replacement comments provided that they don't infringe the commenting rules.  You can ensure that those comments are accepted by being careful with your wording.

Being Offensive

From time to time - or perhaps constantly, I will post material which may be offensive to some. For example, many people do not like the word "aspie" but it's more readable than the alternative "person who has been diagnosed with asperger's sydrome".  I do not mean to offend but equally I can't adjust for every single person's preference.  If I offend, please let me know and if possible I'll try to make amends.

Please remember that many of the posts in this blog were written quite some time ago, decades ago even, when the language was different. In my more recent posts, I try to use the words "autistic people", "people with autism", "aspies" people "on the spectrum" etc interchangeably. I don't know if that makes it better or worse but I do know that no matter what I do, there's no pleasing everybody. 


I do not get paid for this site and I intend to keep it advertisement free.  Many of my review materials are supplied free of charge (I'll disclaim this when it happens) but I like to keep my reviews honest.


Whenever I provide links to external pages, please note that I have no control over the destination page.  I can't warrant that these pages are free from insults, bad language, malware or other undesirables.  I can only say that at the time the link was made, they went to appropriate sites.  If you find a link which is dangerous, please let me know and I'll remove it from the site.

Popular posts from this blog

Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2)

In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. They can over analyze situations and responses in an effort to capture lost nonverbal communication. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. Everything made up by aspies will tend to be tainted with their own self image. This is one of reasons that people with Asperger's will sometimes decide that they are not good enough for their partner and that they must let them go. Sometimes, the aspie will develop a notion of chivalry or self-sacri

Aspie Myths - "He Won't Miss Me"

I apologise for the excessive "male-orientated" viewpoint in this post. I tried to keep it neutral but somehow, it just works better when explained from a male viewpoint. Here's a phrase that I've seen repeated throughout the comments on this blog on several occasions; "I know that he won't miss me when I'm gone because he's aspie" Today, we're going to (try to) bust that myth; Individuals I'll start off with a reminder that everyone is an individual. If all aspies were completely alike and predictible, they'd be a stereotype but they're not. Each is shaped by their background, their upbringing, their beliefs and their local customs. An aspie who grew up with loud abusive parents has a reasonable chance of becoming loud and abusive themselves because in some cases, that's all they know. That's how they think adults are supposed to behave. In other cases, aspies who grew up in those circumstances do a complete a

Aspies and Sexuality

A word of warning: This post may cover adult topics - though really nothing "juicy" so it's probably safe. You may want to read it carefully before allowing minors to look at it.   The Myths   In the last week, prompted by some "off the wall" questions, I have been reading a lot of discussions about autistic people (including "aspies") and sexuality. I am amazed at the opinions of otherwise respectable people in the medical profession. I have found a whole bunch of statements including; All autistic people are gay Most autistic people are asexual (derive no pleasure from sex). Autistic people are sex maniacs Preferences Reading a lot further afield and having discussions with other aspies makes it clear to me that aspies come in all sizes shapes and forms. Their preferences vary just as much as neurotypicals. On Page 246 of "Asperger's Syndrome: Intervening in Schools, Clinics, and Communities" By Linda J. Baker, Lawrence A., they