Life with Aspergers

This post follows on from my earlier post " Young Teens and Eecutive Functioning Issues " If you haven't read that post, you might want to read it before continuing here as it provides a useful introduction to the topic. In my earlier post I defined lack of executive function and talked about the problems it can cause in day-to-day scenarios involving simple tasks, like getting dressed.  As children get older however, executive functioning difficulties become more pronounced because they're expected to be able to take responsibility for more far-reaching decisions. Decisions made by older teens can affect lives and can result in legal action, injury and even death. An Example; Take, as an example, the problem of driving home after a night out. The simplified executive functioning would probably flow as follows but each component would have a myriad of ordered sub-tasks as well; Decide - Am I ok to drive home?   This would require both a knowledge of the d...

Over the years I've written quite a bit about AS/NT relationships. I've written about accepting your aspergers partner for who they are and how to reach them in the relationship. I guess that it's all been a bit one-sided but today I'm starting a series which might rectify the balance. These  posts is directed at people with Asperger's sydrome and are about being the best partner that you can be. All relationships need work. They're not "fire and forget". You can't simply say, ok we've ticked the boxes; we're married, we have a house and we have kids. That's not where the work ends. There's a saying from Marriage Encounters which I like to repeat. "Sometimes I love my partner -- and sometimes I have to work harder at it", Life is all about change. As aspies we often don't like change but we're powerless to stop it. Like it or not, people change and situations change. In order to adapt to these changes, we ...

"What I wish I'd known about Raising a Child with autism: A mom and a psychologist offer heartfelt guidance for the first five years", Bobbi Sheahan and Kathy DeOenellas PH D, Future Horizons Inc, 2011. This is a mother and psychologist writing team book with a difference. This time, the person with autism is female. The book in general is very well laid out and there is never any doubt as to which of the authors is writng at any given time.  Bobby has written the majority of the text while Kathy, the psychologist writes less frequently and always in a grey box. There are scattered tips highlighted throughout the book and each chapter includes at least a few entitled "it bears repeating" or "what I wish I'd known". Bobbi's writing style is breezy, funny and engaging. She covers some very difficult topics and makes it clear that as a parent nothing is ever easy. Kathy tends to write on a whole different level and at times seems to h...

My wife and I have just spent the last few months watching every episode of "Doc Martin" a British TV series about a Doctor (not that other Doctor) who relocates from a job as a top surgeon in London to general practitioner in Portwenn, a tiny fictional village in Cornwall.  It's mostly a comedy series but it has some drama and romance elements as well.  The reason I'm reviewing it here however is because Doc Martin's character is, I believe, intended to "have Aspergers Syndrome" and for neurotypical adults this gives you a good glimpse into both sides of an AS/NT relationship. Nobody does situation comedy for Television better than the British and Doc Martin doesn't disappoint in this area. Although it is very funny, it's actually in the development of Doc Martin's relationship that the show really excels.  Each story is relatively self-contained but it is strongly recommended that you watch the series in the correct order to get a g...

You'll often hear that people on the spectrum have problems with "executive functioning" but what does it mean and how does it manifest in young adults?   In this post, I hope to give you some answers. Image by 11066063 from Pixabay What are Executive Functions? Put simply, executive functions are higher level functions such as planning, reasoning, problem solving, multi-tasking, attention span, inhibition, flexibility, self monitoring, self-initiation and self guidance.  Executive functions are important but in an animal sense, a lack of them is usually not life threatening. Eating, sleeping, moving and toileting for example, aren't classed as "executive functions".   While executive functioning provides many advantages, it's not so critical in the pure "animal" sense. It's people and society that has made executive functioning critical in humans. An Example: Get Ready for School The remainder of this post will focus on an example, in thi...

There's been a lot of discussion in the blogsphere recently culmulating in this interesting and insightful post  about drawing lines in the sand.  The ideals expressed were admirable but I could see several places where the author of the post hadn't actually met them (based on things said in comments and earlier posts). Like a true aspie champion of logic, I was about to point them out when I realised two things; It's not very nice  My slate isn't exactly clean either It got me thinking about the bigger picture and inspired me to take a look at advocacy and different points of view. In particular, I was wondering how I personally would go accepting all of these conflicting points of view. The Indivisible Point of View We're advocates right? We have to have a point of view. In my case, I'm advocating for my children's right to be accepted as part of normal society. For their right to do things that others do and for their right to live without ...

I just finished reading an Aspergers Relationship book today (it's excellent by the way and a review is coming shortly). The book had a great quote from Tony Attwood near the end and it's such a great quote that I've been  mulling it over all day long. I thought it was worth repeating here; Clinical and counselling experience suggests that there are three requisites for a successful relationship. The first is that both partners acknowledge the diagnosis. The second requisite is motivation for both partners to change and learn. The third is access to relationship counselling modified to accommodate the profile of abilities and experiences of the partner with Aspergers Syndrome. - Dr. Tony Attwood, "The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome" Let's look at Tony's three requirements in more detail; 1. Both partners acknowledge the diagnosis I know that I'm often saying that "it's just a label" and "it doesn't ...