Life with Aspergers

A fellow blogger Pink has discussed the Vaccine theory on her blog . One thing that I found interesting was her suggestion that Astrology is about as relevant. I'm not a great believer in astrology at all but I'm willing to try anything - particularly during the holiday season. I put my details in and was astounded by the results. No... I'm still not ready to believe but... wow... the results hit a nerve and IMHO, they show that any set of results can be twisted to fit a given situation. If you want to give it a try, then here's the URL; http://www.alabe.com/freechart/ The Report Here's my report. I've highlighted some areas I found interesting. Name: Gavin Rising Sign is in 20 Degrees Virgo You tend to be very shy and not very self-assertive . You are supercritical about how you appear to others. Even though you may think you are uninteresting and dull, you are actually quite soft- spoken, orderly, neat and very likable. You are a perfectionist with high sta

A Quick Thank-You In all probability, this will be my last post before Christmas, possibly the last for the year so before I start, I'd just like to thank all of my readers and especially the people who left comments. Those comments helped steer this blog in different - and sometimes quite unexpected directions. Your input was greatly appreciated and has ensured that this years journey has been an interesting and relevant one. The Christmas Pressures There's a lot to be said for the social pressures of Christmas and in my family this has been a particular problem over the years. There is always a power struggle with my mother-in-law who feels that Christmas lunch is her exclusive domain. Even when, after years of struggling I gave up trying to share (every second year) and moved my immediate family permanently to boxing day, the pressure didn't cease - and this year is no exception. The pressure may be coming from outside but I've noticed that over the years my wife an

There's a whole wealth of information about Aspergers on YouTube but sometimes instead of a vast series of unconnected videos, it's nice to watch something that is about the same person. I've only just noticed that Fiona, an aspie from New Zealand has posted an amazing series of clips which are even more fascinating when taken together than as individual videos. Please have a look at her videos; http://au.youtube.com/user/AspergersGirl

I've talked quite a bit about meltdowns on this blog because they're so integral to the aspie condition but I really haven't given much attention to their poor cousin - the shutdown. Technically, there aren't too many differences between meltdowns and shutdowns. Both are extreme reactions to everyday stimuli. Both tend to be the result of long term unresolved issues rather than the more obvious triggers and both are almost completely out of the control of the aspie rather than being used by children and adults as a means to an end - that would be either a tantrum or emotional blackmail. Some aspies are more prone to meltdowns while others lean more towards the shutdown model. It's possible to do both but this depends greatly on the root cause of the problem. I think that there's a bit of a personality component to the reaction with aspies who are more sure of themselves or more fiercely independent leaning towards meltdowns rather than shutdowns but again there

I had planned to move away from adult topics for a little while and concentrate on children's issues but the following comment provides such as good opportunity to explain an integral part of the aspie condition that I'll stay with the topic a little longer... If you feel your wife's smile is like the warmth of the radiating sun (what a lucky woman) do you experience the need to show her that you feel that - in the moment, I mean? In one of your answers to the comments in Part 3 you wrote: "I feel that aspies have a greater strength of emotion than many NTs but that we often lack the means to show it (or we're "afraid" to show it). So where does the emotion go? And what is the fear about in showing it? You've really hit the nail on the head here and I realise that I have probably left too much unsaid. As I described in my post, even though aspies aren't all that great at reading facial expression, a simple smile from my wife is enough for her to e

Introduction I've already highlighted some of the problems that aspies face in the area of touch, though I haven't yet covered the concept of love. The fact is however that most relationships are based on love and that touch plays an important part in those relationships. This post is intended to look at some of the compromises and solutions that AS/NT couples can bring to the relationship in these areas. Defining Love A few years back, my wife and I were asked (separately) how we defined love. The answers we gave weren't the ones we expected. My wife's answers all dealt with tangibles (or at least deliverables), such as hugs, kisses, presents, companionship, outings and commitment. This was in stark contrast to my own answers which were all about feelings and perception. The example I gave was; "when you look at someone and a simple smile from them carries the warmth of the sun. You find yourself basking in the sunshine of their smile and you feel that life can