Life with Aspergers

A couple of days ago, I was reading a thread about a mother who came home to find that her son had completely trashed the house - again. It reminded me of things that our family used to go through. While my eldest, now 20 is a terribly messy boy, this behaviour is now well and truly a thing of the past for us. For a while though, these problems seemed insurmountable, so I thought I'd share how we got past them. Image by yasioo from Pixabay There was once a time where if he didn't get his way, my youngest would completely trash his room (and sometimes other rooms in the house). We still have marks on the walls (and some holes) that remind us of those terrible days. He would pull everything out of his wardrobe and throw it on the floor, he would throw all of his books out of his bookcase and all over the floor. He would often tip his entire mattress off the bed as well.  These generally weren't meltdowns. They were too controlled and too planned. They were done for a reason....

What your Child on the Spectrum Really Needs: Advice from 12 Autistic Adults. For Autistic People Everywhere. May Your Voices Be Heard by Jenna Gensic This is a book review that I really should have done about eight months ago. I wanted to be able to do this book justice but it's just so diverse and informative that I don't think that any review I write will really describe the breadth of it. The book is only 115 pages long but it's A4 sized and absolutely packed with information.  Jenna Gensic is a freelance writer who blogs over at Learning from Autistics  and she frequently publishes interviews with autistic people. As I write this, she's just published Interview 147. It's an incredible achievement.  At the beginning of the book, Jenna talks about her experience learning from the narrow experience and perception doctors and her discovery of the world of advocacy. I've often said that while doctors have medical training, they see an average of around 35 patien...

With Lockdown still in effect in lots of places, I wanted to share some of the experiences I had with my son and his inability to self-manage when it came to working on school projects by himself.  My youngest has a lot of potential but also tends to be lazy or easily distracted by video games. Lockdown seems to have "changed the game" and he feels like he can get away without putting the effort in.  There's no easy answer but this is our journey. Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay The Problems Before we get into solutions, I wanted to look at some of the problems we were experiencing.  First of all, my son had been a reasonable student before lockdown. Not brilliant but middling. He was putting in a reasonable amount of effort and was getting work done more or less on time. The only thing that was a bit of a problem for him was assignments that he had to do out of class.  That should have been a warning sign for us. When lockdown started, the kids were off school be...

Autism Parenting Magazine is has a new article on Stimming that is pretty comprehensive and ticks all of the right boxes (I checked it over).  Head over here to read it; https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/autism-stimming-causes-management-and-types The article explains;  What stimming is and how to recognise it.  What causes stimming (or why autistic people stim) It goes through various forms of stimming including; Verbal and Auditory Visual Tactile Vestibular Olfactory (Smell) and Taste The article also discusses whether you should attempt to stop stimming (this is one of reasons why I wanted to check it over first) and some techniques to reduce and self regulate stimming.  There's a great infographic for easy reference and a free guide that you can download.  Image by David Schwarzenberg from Pixabay Over the years, I've discussed stimming on this blog, you'll find a selection of stimming articles on the links page of my website. 

  It's finally happened, my eldest son, now 19.5 has decided that he's ready to learn how to drive. He's made the effort, with admittedly quite a bit of prompting, to pass the written part of the exam. He's got his "L" plates and it's time for the practical side of the lesson.  While there's not a huge amount of difference between teaching someone on the autism spectrum and teaching someone who isn't, there are a few little things that are important.  The Road Rules For the most part, kids on the spectrum love rules. They're great. Instead of being all different shades of grey, road rules are pretty black and white. There's a side of the road that you drive on. There's give way and stop signs, and there are speed limits.  Unfortunately, it's not all rules. A lot of driving is actually etiquette. It's about being aware that other people make mistakes or that some people are in a rush. If a car is driving erratically, it's bes...

In my previous post , I talked about the sorts of things that you need to do with kids on the spectrum in order to keep them safe during lockdown. In this post, I want to look at ideas to pass the time while always keeping things positive.  While these activities are suitable to all kids and all adults, you'll find that autistic children will respond a little differently to them.  You might find that they take in science concepts better than other kids or that they don't tolerate paint textures. Push the boundaries a little and encourage the kids to try but be aware that sometimes activities simply aren't suitable for the child. If that's the case, don't make a big deal about it, just choose something else.  Television and Netflix It's a given that television and movie viewing will be on the rise during lockdown. That's okay provided that you don't turn them into binge TV sessions, where kids watch one show after another while sitting on the lo...

These last few weeks have been unprecedented. Who would have thought that we'd reach a point where a pandemic caused a lockdown in most countries, where economies were are being beaten down and life as we know it is different, at least for the immediate future.  For autistic adults and children, these sweeping changes are their worst nightmare. People with autism work best with routine and don't handle change well at the best of times. The changes that are happening everywhere right now are creating a lot of stress. I want to use this post to talk about how we can reduce that stress and make the lockdown period easier. Keep the Conversation Going One of the best ways to lower the stress in people with autism is to keep conversations going. Don't avoid the topic but instead discuss it openly, honestly and positively. If you're a parent, guardian or teacher, talking to children or people with lower abilities to understand, you'll need to adjust your language ...

It’s not uncommon for fathers to feel like they don’t get any respect from their teens. This is the case in many families regardless of whether the kids are on the spectrum or not. Boys will rebel against both parents but when they rebel against their fathers it's usually because he’s the authority figure with the same gender. Sometimes it’s a test of strength, sometimes it’s just because dad is easier to push around. Girls on the other hand, tend to rebel no matter what. It’s an age thing for them.  Rebellion is normal and the reasons for it are wide-ranging. In this post, I want to look at the ways in which teens on the spectrum rebel and in particular, I want to look at the father-son relationships.  What’s different about Spectrum Rebellion? Teen spectrum rebellion differs from normal teen rebellion in that quite often the teens don’t realise that they are rebelling. They’re not fighting to go out or fighting to do adult things. Teen spectrum rebellion incidents a...

People with Autism and Asperger's syndrome may experience a variety of different executive functioning issues. These include issues with; organisation skills, self regulation, the ability to process tasks sequentially and remembering instructions, multi-tasking, filtering distractions, setting priorities, planning and attention focusing.  In this post, I want to focus on "time-blindness" and look at some of the causes and the ways in which this obstacle can be reduced. What is Time-Blindness? Time blindness is when an individual becomes somewhat unaware of the passage of time. Like most executive functions, the ability to measure and manage time is part innate and part learned. It needs to be practiced and honed in order to keep it sharp and functional but it comes more naturally to some people than to others. People on the autism spectrum and people with related issues, such as OCD and ADHD can have particular difficulty in this area. Time-blindness can impact...