Life with Aspergers

In some of my other posts, I've talked about meltdowns , which are when people on the autism spectrum lose control. I've also talked about the quieter form of meltdown; the " shutdown " where an individual is unable to connect with the outside world.  Meltdowns and shutdowns are transitory things, they happen and they pass. They're also usually quite short, lasting at most, for a few hours. When a person with autism experiences a condition similar to a shutdown that lasts for days or even for the rest of their life, it's something else.  It's called autistic burnout.  The symptoms The symptoms of autistic burnout will vary significantly from person to person but there are a few common signs; Inability to cope with daily life Autistic burnout is often compared with a mental breakdown for good reason. They're very similar. A person may be coping well with the pressures of family or working life and then may suddenly become incapable of co...

If you're the parent of a young adult with Asperger's syndrome you'll be very familiar with the need to keep educating and pushing your child. You'll probably be an expert at it and you'll most certainly be very tired of all the work involved.  The question is; should you continue to push your young adults past their twenties or should you back off and allow them to find their own way forward? We Never Stop Pushing  Regardless of whether or not we should give our kids more space, one thing is clear.  As parents, we never stop caring for our children and their future. We simply can't help ourselves - and that's okay. It's okay that we're always concerned for their welfare and that we want what's best for them but there are big differences between trying to help and trying to control.  We need to make sure that we stay on the right side of the line. The Impetus to Move One of the biggest areas of contention between parents and young...

My Parents; Bill and Doris holding me at Hornsby Heights, NSW 1969 Today is Mother's Day in Australia and apart from presents and food, one of the traditions I have is to put a bit of effort into the card that I give my mother. Often they're hand-made but even when they're not, they usually have a poem inside. They're always intended to be funny because my mother has the best laugh in the world.  I'm not a brilliant poet and like my blog posts, I don't spend much time editing my work. I prefer things to be original.  As such, there's probably only 10 minutes of work in here - so don't expect Shakespeare. My mother and I with my sister Maree. A Mother's Day Poem Thank you for being there for me, T'was not an easy thing to be. When to the shops you would go, My eiderdown would be in tow My hands would wander to every shelf Especially glass - I couldn't help myself And when I sneeze everything was game. My sleeves would ...

As we wind down April, the month of "light it up blue", "autism awareness" and "autism acceptance", I wanted to ponder the other side of the equation. At the beginning of the month, I talked about how those of us on the spectrum needed to represent ourselves . Now I want to look at what we really need from people who aren't on the spectrum.  As usual, the best way to answer that question is to pick a group which already has good accommodations and look at how this could apply to autism. Beyond Acceptance, the example of the blind.  My comparison point this time is blind people. I'm not suggesting that nothing more can be done for them but rather that their needs are understood and catered for well beyond simple "acceptance". Our social care of visually impaired people is impressive and something that other groups should strive to match. So, how are the visually impaired being looked after by society? Braille: It's not jus...

Over the years, April has been associated with the "Light it up Blue" campaign launched by the group "Autism Speaks". The campaign originally advocated awareness and then acceptance.   It's something that I've posted about more than once before on this blog.   Autism Politics: Puzzle Pieces and Rainbows  - March 2012 How to do More for Families with Autism than just being "Aware" of it - April 2014 Doing Better than Light it up Blue - April 2017 In recent years, the campaign has changed from something that people with autism were wary of to a cause that is actually opposed by the majority of them. Autism Doesn't "Speak" There are many reasons for this shift but in my opinion, the fact that "autism speaks" is entirely controlled by people without autism is probably the major factor. It's not that they've never had people with autism on their board; they've had some famous people including John El...

You've been hounding your kid for a week to clean up his room and you finally go in because you need to pick up his washing or he'll have nothing to wear to school next week. You're shocked to find a little pile of candy wrappers, often crawling with ants. The carpet is a mess and the bin is only an arm's length away.  Yes, you've got a food wrapper mess kid. I'm not sure if this is a  Asperger’s thing or just a normal teenager thing but I suspect that the problem is a little worse with kids on the spectrum. Junk Food is Harmful. Right? There's no denying that junk food isn't a healthy option or that in large quantities it will create obesity issues. It's important to try to impose some limits on your children’s eating habits. What you don't want to do is get so hung up on the idea of cutting out sugar that you drive these behaviours underground.  After all, your kids will eventually be in a position where they have their own money...

One of the many interesting things about people on the autism spectrum is that the abilities of most people seem to be wildly underestimated. It’s hard to come up with a simple reason why this is the case but the results can have catastrophic effects on their lives and families. One of the most problematic areas of autism is communication. It’s often assumed that kids who don’t reach their speech milestones by ages 4-5 will never communicate; or at the very least that they will never speak. This is not necessarily the case and as circumstances change, new technologies develop and your children get a better “handle” on their differences, speech can become a very real possibility.  Ending the Milestones Unfortunately, some parents have already given up by the time their children are ready to develop language and they never have a chance to reach their potential. This is understandable as parents can only continue with normal milestones for a limited time before they need s...