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Aspergers and Depression

Like all mental conditions which cause people to behave differently from the norm, Aspergers is associated with depression. Depression can be caused by a number of things including;
  • Social troubles because you do not seem to fit in

  • Guilt or regret over past actions/outburst/meltdowns

  • Overwhelming feelings and thoughts

  • Anxiety and Panic Attacks

  • Miscommunications / Misunderstandings

  • Fatigue or Tiredness due either to the condition that all to the treatment of the condition (eg: Ritalin)

There is a lot of research into the depression and ADHD or ADD (a common condition which exists alongside Aspergers)

There's not nearly as much information on depression from an Aspergers only standpoint.

Recent research...

(Tantam, D. (2000). Psychological disorder in adolescents and adults with Asperger syndrome. Autism)

...suggests that depression is common in individuals with Asperger syndrome with about 1 in 15 people with Asperger syndrome experiencing such symptoms. Personally, I think this figure is much, much higher and that the differences are related to how depression is seen by others (particularly the researchers) and how it handled by those who suffer from it. Remember that Aspies aren't always easy to read.

The aim of this post is to look at depression that is directly related to the Aperger's condition only. It's obviously going to take more than one post to get through this.

There are a number of factors an which are part of aspergers which would influence the onset of depression. These include as follows;
  • Very good long term memory

  • Obsessive compulsion - (I wonder if this is simply be one of my conditions or if it really belongs in the core Aspergers definitions)**

  • Obsession with completeness, order and patterns

  • Difficulty reading of other people's body language expressions and tone (leading to misunderstandings)

  • Unusual world view/Paradigm

Unfortunately, this post is already getting long, so I'll discuss these lists in the next post.

In the meantime, here are some links which may be of interest;

**Szatmari et al (1989) studied a group of 24 children. He discovered that 8% of the children with Asperger syndrome and 10% of the children with high-functioning autism were diagnosed with OCD. This compared to 5 per cent of the control group of children without autism but with social problems. Thomsen el at (1994) found that in the children he studied, the OCD continued into adulthood.


Anonymous said…
I have been diagnosed aspergers syndrome and depression.
My repeative obsessive thoughts turn into that sadness and also when someone gets fusterated with me like my parents.
I don't even know how I feel sometimes.
When I can't learn from my mistakes as fast as everyone else.
I feel hopeless because it's how I'm made to make mistakes over and over without ending.
Julio said…
i understand. Repeating the same mistake over and over...I would always forget to leave my coat in my locker at school (because of some rule) and 4 days out of 5 I would forget it. Consistently. And my repetitive obsessive thoughts also turn into sadness, but for me this occurs irrespectively of being yelled at (if someone yells at me as an Adult I am certified to kick their ass, even if it is my parent, unlike yourself).
this is my comedy blog I make so I, on some level, feel human and also publicly express how I see the world.
Anonymous said…
It is so difficult to find articles and books about adults with asperger! If I only knew this when I was a teenager probably my life would be different.

I don't know who can give me a "formal" diagnose of this syndrome if a Psychiatrist or a Psychologist, what do you think??
Michelle said…
My 16 yr old son has AS. He's also diagnosed with ODD, OCD & Executive Dysfunction. He and I both hate the 'labels', but it's a start.
He's so up and down emotionally right now and from what I'm reading through other's coping with this disorder, you're reverberating what my son is saying.
I love him and want him to see he's not alone... there's no support groups for him or our family in our area. If anyone has any ideas, that would be great!
Ken Poole said…
I have seen lists that show doctors that are specialized with AS and can give a diagnosis. For myself, I'm going to ask my family doctor for an opinion about AS, and see if he suggests a specialist.
I know what you mean about info on adults with AS. I did find this book at Barnes & Noble: "Solutions for Adults with Asperger Syndrome" by Juanita P. Lovett
Anonymous said…
i have aspergers and am high functioning to a degree. I also suffer from depression and anxiety which alot stems to the fact my circle of friends has drastically dropped since my teenage years, im nearly 23 and i dont go out like most people my age do. Mainly because i socially isolate myself. I find situations arise when i go out, for example.. my local pub i used to go to has very loud bands on friday nights. because i cant hear my thoughts it screws with my head. Also i tend to come out with weird things especially when i have smoked cannabis. it depresses me because when i was younger i had loads of friends, now im a social outcast who feels nothing but bitternerss and anger towards alot of society. Alot of my friends dont want nothing to do with me anymore. best friends have come and gone and now i feel alone. I live alone which doesent help and rely on xbox live to chat to people. I just wish sometimes i wouldent come out with weird shit. It freaks me out aswell as it does to other people. its a shame because i wish i was young again when i had confidence and didnt lack self esteem. Instead i try to get help off places such as richmond fellowship. who drag their feet and have yet to have their help, due to such correspondance in which they apparently were going to start working with me soon, this was nearly 3months ago. im sick of having to do this alone my parents leave me to cope and basically couldent give two shits. Im not a dependant person but a bit help wouldent go a miss, does anybodyelse have similar problems if so feel free to email me on

i will reply!!
Prokofiev said…
I have been diagnosed with aspergers and im suffering with deppression.

I think alot of society treats aspies very badly. I dont seem to know a happy person with it, we're ethier bullied or secluded.
Frank Bostwick said…
I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and chronic depression in 2005, right around my 50th birthday. The diagnosis was an epiphany for me, and many things in life suddenly made sense. I only wish I had known sooner in life, but it's my understanding that Asperger Syndrome was not rediscovered by the psychiatric community until the mid 1990s.
Perhaps I could have avoided the 3 divorces and numerous job-related problems I've experienced. I saw a number of therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists over the years, wanting to know why I didn't "feel" right, why I was not a good "fit" for the world around me.
Now, I'm always depressed (well, most of the time). I'm severely under-employed, and that of course can make you depressed. But I'm constantly reliving past mistakes, sometimes in great detail. The memories come unbidden, and they are currently my only constant companion.
For a while I found some relief. I was seeing a psychiatrist (the one who made the Asperger diagnosis) 3 or 4 time a year, and he had me on Effexor. My depression was under control, and there were no suicidal thoughts.
But now I am barely able to keep up the utility payments, and I cannot afford to see a doctor, let alone get any medication.
I'd like to hear more from adult Asperger patients. Most literature is about children or adolescents, and I don't feel anything is being done to help out an "old" guy like me.
Anonymous said…
I am reading the coments and feel they could all be about me. I know I have Aspergers and ADHD but have never been formaly diagnosed. I have no medical coverage right now and am not able to get any help at this time. I just want to let you know not to feel alone in this. I am 46 years old and have had these types of problems all my life. I am also underemployed, depressed, socially isolated and have severe anxiety.

I could go on and on about all my problems but I wont. I hope someday I am able to get some help but again I want everyone with similar problems to know there are many people out there who feel the same things you do.
Anonymous said…
My father is a high functioning autistic, and he suffers from depression so badly, he is now on disability for it. (Which is strange because his autism alone wasn't what disabled him.) Anyways, I suffer from the symptoms of aspergers, and suffer from severe depression. I wish there was more information on the connection, if there is a connection.
Anonymous said…
Wow...I'm a mother of an 18 year old son with aspergers and depression. I LOVE my son dearly and we are seeking help for his depression and feelings of hopelessness. He was diagnosed with a.s. his freshman year and only told us a few days ago about his feelings of hopelessness, depression and suicidal thoughts. :( I am so very upset and want to do anything I can to help him. He says he is tired of feeling the way he does and it's not worth it. Please..... let me tell anyone out there that is reading this...... You
Are Worth It! You Do have family or people around you that care! I would trade places with my son in a heartbeat, if I could take this pain away from him. I will see any and every doctor in the world until we find something to help him not have feelings of hopelessness. We knew he had a.s....and we thought he was dealing with it the best he could, but when he said he wanted to give up that just killed me inside! I started searching the web to see how others with a.s. and depression handle this or any advice that you can give a desperate family. We just want our son to be happy. Please give any suggestions or comments and remember that people do care. :) Thanks :)
Anonymous said…
I have been awake all night just reading all of your incredible stories. I am the mom that posted a comment about my 18 year old son and his recent cries for help about his depression. I think this website, and I'm sure many others, are such a blessing to people that need to connect with and understand aspergers. I have been living in "my little world" while my son has been "living in his." I never realized that we may be in very different places. My reason for reaching out is to say thank you for sharing. My son loves me and his family, but he has such a hard time expressing his feelings to us and we just don't know (and will probably never really understand) exactly how he is feeling. Reading about "YOUR" feelings and daily trials helps me realize some of the things he may be feeling and how to best support him. He is a senior in high school and has had many reasons for being frustrated with his life. Although he has a very high I.Q of 150, he is failing in 2 subjects and may not graduate with his class. At this point, we don't even care about the graduation. We just want our son to realize that he can be sucessful in life and that there are others out there that have faced the same or even more difficult obstacles. Please keep this site up and available for anyone that may need information about aspergers. It has been such a comfort, as a parent, to listen to the real thoughts and feelings of others instead of trying to connect with a doctors textbook. Of course, those are wonderful sources, too...but it really helps to hear it from people who "Live with It"...Gavin, thank you for all of the info and for listening. You are an inspiration and a life line to many people. :) To all with aspergers/depression out there: please hang in there and know that people care. :) I admire all of you and hope my son will soon learn coping skills that will help him appreciate all the good that can come from being different and unique. Take care. :)
Anonymous said…
Hy everybody. I`m Jill. I`m not very good in english, so my comment will not be very fluent. Sorry for that.. I`m 23 years old and found out about Aspergers just about 2 months ago. I was simply checking all kinds of mental problems on (did that not for fun..), till came up to AS. I really am not of those people who are attaching all kinds of conditions or illnesses. But.. when I started reading about it, it just suddenly came up clearer and clearer about why my life is so messy.. I felt so different, and not normal all my entire life, mostly because I could not speak to other people about personal things. When I was little, I was very slow, clumsy, afraid of talking with people, even with relatives. Instead of giving me some kind of support, everyone around me were sneering me. And it still hurts.. When I grew up, I changed a lot, well.. more like changed outside. I gain more confident, learned how to speak, how to share my opinion. I have few good friends, and people even like me. Some say I`m different, smart, kind. But inside.. I`m struggling with so many all kinds of negative thoughts, talking with my self non-stop, feeling more and more depressed, and have no idea, how to tell it to somebody. Never ever did that.. It`s like I wrote an imaginary pact when I was a young kid not to tell anybody about my feelings, even promised to my self, that I`m going to be the first person in this world, that is going to survive in loneliness, and be happy. But now I can tell for sure, that this is not possible. Just wanted to share..
Anonymous said…
I have a 24 year old son with A.S., informally diagnosed about a year ago by a psychiatist family member.
At first he was relieved to finally know why he felt different but lately he seems extremely frustrated all the time.
My main concern is that in a couple of months we need to move from the house we are living in, my family does not know about his AS at my son's request and they don't understand why he is still living with me. He has had a 9 to 5 job he hated and has a Real Estate License like me. I think we could be great partners but I don't know if I am helping him or hurting him by not letting him fly "solo" as everyone around me suggests. He is very high performing but he gets very depressed and frustrated most of the time.
I need to decide if I should let him find a way to start facing life on his own or if it's ok to keep him with me and help him in every way I can like I've done so far...
Anonymous said…
Hey Jill :) I was just curious to know if you have family to talk to about your feelings. Being a mom of a teen with AS, I can certainly feel for you and I hope that you have someone to support you and help you. I still don't have all the answers for my son, but I will continue to love and support him every day. :) He is in therapy, now, and that seems to help him, too. He is also on anti-depressant medication, although he says he hasn't found that it helps yet. (He just started the medication a few weeks ago.) All we can do is try new avenues of help and hope they work. Good luck to you. :)
Anonymous said…
I think that since nobody is doing it, we should find a way to get some support, specially the adult cases that are being so ignored.
Maybe we all could start a group in our own area that could get together for activities and support for the aspies and/or the parents and family, has anyone tried that?
If you are in South San Diego please send me an email at to start a support group in this area.
Thank you!
An angel's mom
Anonymous said…
This is in response to Frank Bostwick's comments:

I'm about the same age (late 50's) and learned just a couple of months ago that I probably have AS. I'm guessing that most people who "know" me think I'm a relatively ordinary guy with a few quirks. I've been married to the same woman for 37 years, we've raised 5 children, and have always been able to provide a modest income for my family.

However, I know that I don't fit in with regular society at all, and it has caused me untold anguish and heartaches over the years, especially as I reflect on the effect it has had on our children.

Looking back over my life, I realize that one thing I have done (without understanding why) was to spend a lot of time walking. When I was working I would walk at lunch time so I wouldn't have to go to the cafeteria and eat with others. If my equipment would break down, I would go outside and walk. When I would get upset I would go outside and walk as long as possible.

When one our of children was in the hospital fighting for her life against an aggressive cancer, I would go outside and walk for hours. It wouldn't matter where I was, if the opportunity was there you'd probably find me out walking.

Walking allowed me to exercise and provided me with time outside, both of which are so important to good health, physically and mentally. It is very inexpensive, only requiring a decent pair of walking shoes and some clothes appropriate for the weather.

I know that simply going outside and walking doesn't solve all of my "problems", but I suspect that walking is the best medication that could have been prescribed for me if I had been diagnosed.

Robert Hickman said…
In response to the last anonymous commenter:

Walking can be a great way to bring you back to reality, it allows you to let go of any worries you have.

I used to experience some amount of depression in my childhood, especially in my later school years. But more recently it has not been a problem.

Walking and meditation/yoga help me to be content with any situation.
Anonymous said…
Wow...I'm a mother of an 18 year old son with aspergers and depression.

To the mom who has an 18years son. My son was 17 when we found out he was suicidal and depressed. We tried therapy medication counselling and so on. Unfortunately nothing worked and on top of it the only person who could help him committed suicide. You might not want to hear this but I do know how do you feel and I just want to help you before it’s too late. My son ended his life a month ago the age of 21.When I read your story I taught you talk about my son because everything matches perfectly.
Smart, depressed not wanting to live.
As a father all I can say AS it’s a terrible illness.
How can I help you? ‘Were in terrible shape but we’ve to go on.
Talk to your son; try to find out about his feelings. Therapy, medication might help but that’s not enough. Find out what he’s passionate about and that way you can lead him out of depression. He might not want friends around but try; my son completely isolated himself from everybody.
I’m sorry I taught I can help you but the words just don’t come to me that easy. It’s just too painful.
Take care
Aspie Biker said…
Hi All

Ia m 42 yo male who was diagnosed with AS at age 35. I like all of the other posts have suffered from depression and anxiety. The worst was around my late teens early 20's where the thought of suicide was present as a way of release. I still have those thoughts on a really bad day but now I recognise it as a poor solution to a re occurring issue.

Anyway what gets rid of the black dog? I have been on medication for depression and that lasted for a couple of months and I took myself off it. I found that I was a poor self medicator and the side effects made me erratic.

For me exercise was the the thing that got me levelled out. Having AS meant that I was no good with team sports but running, walking, swimming and cycling all helped. I have come across more aspie cyclists than anything else. One good thing about riding a bike is that you meet other bike riders who all talk about their favourite thing - Bikes! For me it has become one of my more social obsessions that is OK to talk about and I get my social interaction this way. I also keep myself fit which is a way of maintaining my self esteem.

With exercise I think that the endorphin hit and the ability to have time to sort out problems is the thing that works. My wife and I (before kids) found walking and talking was the best way of getting things out in the open and sorted.

I think that a lot of Aspies dwell and cycle over thoughts because they feel pressured to resolve them and have a perfect solution.

I feel for the parents and friends of young aspies facing depression. Maybe you cant beat it but you can find a way of living with it. With life there is hope.
Anonymous said…
I am an adult male (45 yrs old), my son has "unofficial" diagnosis of Aspergers ("official" diagnosis of PDDNOS). Looking at him, he is a mini - me.
So much of what people have posted here, I see in me.
Am struggling with major bout of depression. Lots of other issues that I just can't seem to deal with. Need help!
Does anyone know where I can go in St.Louis Mo area for diagnosis for aspergers?
Am on illinois medicade!
Please, serious replies only!
Anonymous said…
I believe I have AS as it explains many thngs about me and the experiences I had "fitting in" in social situations when I was younger. A search for "socially handicapped" one late nite neted AS and then it all made sense. I had problems with dating (and making friends) while in school, suffered tremendous insecurity, bullying, and did not land a steady gf until my SR yr in college. I married her shortly after college - btw she had been very popular in HS (which appealed to my low self image). We had to use people from her family as groomsmen (I had no friends - unbelievable this did not send red flag to her) and my 18 yr brother was best man.

While I am a professional with a graduate degree, married with three chilren my career has been a series of bad news, setbacks, and occasional firings. While making a good income, I consider myself underemployed.

My marriage has become nothing more than a business relationship mainly due to her female change of life issues (the first 10-15 of the marriage happy to average). I have wanted to end it but it is too late at this stage of life and would break up my family.

The last 7 years I have dated strippers having had several of them as mistresses and done around 30 different women in this time. My current fav (been seeing her 3 years) danced at a club where I am VIP and is married and currently a law student (she is x HS cheerleader). I meet her several times a month, my contributions pay her mortgage. My income allows me to enjoy this strip club hobby or what they refer to as otc fun. I am a regular poster on a SC hobby related site - While I primarily concentrate on the fav I have rotated her with other girls for variety.

Professionally I work in accounting and operate an online business dealing in collectibles. Its profits help finance my strip clubbing hobby.

In 2004 I was diagnosed with depression and put on lexapro. I dropped lexapro cold turkey in 2008 as it caused an unacceptable male side effect - DE. The side evvect then went away and here have been no unfav consequenses of this plus I found that my strip clubbing hobby has essentially cured my depression.

I do not advertise fact to others I have AS or past suffering. I have improved over the years and when necessary use a made up story to explain any gaps. I do have some friends in my career and hobby related areas. Seeking friends in hobby related areas helps AS.
Anonymous said…
sorry but the poster with the strip club habit just left me cold. My partner has AS and it is difficult to adjust to the depression the criticism (his, not mine).

He needs therapy - I have been to therapists.

Most of the other posts leave hope for me.

Anonymous said…
My best friend has Aspergers, and he's telling me how depressed and out of hope he feels, mostly because he can't connect with the people around him, it makes him frustrated. This has happened before, but now I think he's worse. I don't know how to help him, I love him very much but I think all I can do is tell him this and that I'm there for him. I wish there were more info about the treatment, I hate to see him so unhappy.
Anonymous said…
I have a ten year old son who has asperger. He feels sad and tearful all the time. School is a major problem. Can anyone tell me how to get support for him . How they felt trying to cope with school. I hate to see him so depressed . I don't want my son to feel isolated or alone.HAve you had support that you thought really works, how did you feel when you were ten. Please help
Anonymous said…
My husband of more than twenty years has Aspergers/depression. He has issolated himself from any meaningful relationships. He suffers in silence and I cannot help him. It is so sad to see him this way and also difficult for me to cope with the lack of communication with my spouse.
Steve Barnstaple UK said…
This such a helpful and wonderful site. I have a son who is 25yrs old. He presents as having Aspergers and is waiting to be assessed for diagnosis. He has believed for a long while that he suffers with it, and both my wife and I believe the same. I have worked with both teenagers and adults with this condition, and we have a nephew who suffers with it quite profoundly.So we hav a good understanding of how it presents and affects an individual and their immediate family. Our son is currently very depressed and struggling. He has been on antidepressants for the past nine months(low dose) and feels that his dosage needs to be increased. Much of what has been mentioned in these blogs apply very much to him, which underlines how valuable this site is. So many folk do not recognise or understand Aspergers and how it bears down on the person and people affected. This does cause isolation and feelings of being not understood or accepted. Yet, as some of the blogs have said,there is ways of coping and living a fulfilled life whilst recognising that there are limitations. I believe that it's very much about living according to what you are gifted to do rather than just focusing on any limitations which exist. We are trying to positively support our son this way. There is a way forward. There is a life, a good life to be lived, and this needs good support and understanding from those close to anyone who suffers with AS.
Jake said…
I was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome the earlier part of my middle school years. This was a critical time in my growth as an individual and it wasn't easy. But all was not lost, throughout my high school years, I learned to interview people and cope with and use my asperger's syndrome to my advantage in certain environments and it showed in my grades. At 19, I still have my bad and good days. I regularly seclude myself and spend a fairly decent amount of time writing scholarship essays and surfing the interwebs. For my fellow aspies who struggle with obsession; Do not give up! I struggle with pornography and I have been struggling for 4 years. I'm learning to use this "obsession" to my advantage and channel that energy into my life. Depression is still there but It's just a part of me. It's a learning progress and like I said earlier, there are good days and bad days. I want other Aspies to not feel like they are alone. We all have problems and struggles.

Best Regards,

Bradley said…
I have aspergers and I am 40 years old.So do my two sons who are 11 and 5. I recently caught my wife in an affair two months ago. I threatened suicide after three weeks of dealing with her and now I have a court ordered no contact order with my family. I am one month in and one to go until my court date.I am also conviced that she has borderline personality disorder that has gone undiagnosed. I have never been more depressed in my life. I cannot even explain how convoluted and overwhelming my situation has become in the past two months of my life. If i didn't have my kids to stick around for(I miss them terribly) I would be on a walkabout trying to find myself again. It seems that my whole world crumbled and that is all that kept me together. I am trying really hard to remain positive but, life keeps kicking me while I am down. I am trying to focus on the law of attraction and I discovered a new movie called The People vs. The State of Illusion. It is not playing in my city though. I will nonetheless continue to persevere on through the dark in hopes of seeing the light eventually. My whole existance has been one big failure. I am so intelligent yet so stupid. I wish that I had someone who understood how to help me and actually did something about it. I think a large philothranpic donation would allow me to explore my ideas and inventions to the extent of helping myself as well as society. Its just to bad that people like myself don't usually get what they really need in life to be successful and productive. Society and money are always my stumbling blocks. I am caught in a catch 22 in almost everything I do. I know I have so much to offer the world but, it doesn't seem to care. Maybe sychronicity could work to my advantage for once.
Anonymous said…
My kid is 11, diagnosed with Aspergers about 1 year, it was such a relief as we always figured something was not quite right with this wonderful brilliant quirky kid. It has not been easy with all the issues that come with aspergers.

We have him in counseling with a AS specialist for kids. Finding his passions are key, and then focusing your time and efforts to make it happen. A lot of times they have the passion, but no know how on how to make it happen. Isolationism often gets in the way and retards progress.

With AS the goal is self realization, and the higher functioning kids actually learn to accept it, focus on their strengths, recognize their weaknesses, and continue to push forward. It's never comfortable but from what I understand self peace can happen.

As a parent I have had to change my entire paradigm of how my kid should be, and how as a parent I should react. Long gone are the days of hoping my kid will turn out to be an athlete or a social butterfly. Instead I hope my kid Just grows up happy, with some skill to make a living and be independent.

Any parent would be lying If they told you they had all the answers
Anonymous said…
I Have Aspergers and I often get frustrated. I often want to talk to people really bad but for some reason my brain won't let me. I get really sad (i don't think i have major depression issues) over this because I know im missing out. I feel like i'll never be able to start in a relationship or even get a good group of friends. I have gained a few friends over my years. Whats worse is that I get Panic Attacks and its just emmotionaly draining for me :(. Sometimes I wish i could go to more social events but i just get so nervous all the time that i almost don't go most of the time.
Anonymous said…
Reading these comments entirely remind me of my brother, he's 19 and although he has never been formally diagnosed it is understood he has aspergers syndrome. This is an issue that's never been openly discussed with him, and I'm positive he's suffering depression, I'll hear him crying from time to time in his room, he has little to no friends and he's just dropped out of uni. No one in the family knows what to do and it's heartbreaking to watch. Any suggestions? I'm at such a loss.
Anonymous said…
id like everyone to answer this question. do you think it is autism with depression or autism and depression. i say that because. the best way i can describe it is like this.

keeping in mind the constant replaying of events in your head. major depressive disorder can lead to suicide. HOWEVER as magnified as our emotions are, and can be, i believe if we were going to,if we were going to, we would have.

another way to look at it is like this.
on a 1-10 scale 5 being average.
an average person would score a 5 in every aspect of there personality. HOWEVER i believe we are mentally min/maxed we score 1-10 with few 5's
Gary Wilburn said…
i actually posted the above and some how jacked that up completely by forgetting to put my name :D

the min/max theory.
Anonymous said…
What causes depression for me is the frustration of not being understood or accepted. I have had wishes to die but I guess that my christian faith has given me the strength I need not to act upon them. I usually just sit at home most of the time because I find it so hard to go out anywhere and I'm worried about that my parents are soon going to make me get a job :( Going out anywhere I find really hard as I get really bad anxiety and struggle with social situations. I do volunteer somewhere on a Saturday though with AS children and teenagers and its such a relief when I go there because I know I can relax and be myself, I don't have to constantly watch how I'm coming across all the time because I'm accepted by the kids, parents and the staff. Just know that you not alone and more people with AS and going through this then you think. From Gabby, Female, 22 with Aspergers Syndrome
Anonymous said…
I'm reading this as an "NT" with Aspie relatives. I want to better understand Aspergers so I can be of better service, both as a relative and as a professional therapist. It struck me that you mentioned excellent long term memory. I can resonate with speaking to Aspies who can remember hurts from long ago. Unfortunately, those who hurt them probably aren't even aware.
Unknown said…
This is really an informative post. One of my known is suffering from aspergers and he has problem with communicating with others. And he get angry easily with other people.
Anonymous said…
My son also has been diagnosed with Aspergers since he was 17. He also has the same qualities and difficulties that a normal Aspergy has. He is very intelligent and self-controlled. He says that he gets suicidal thoughts and feels hopeless. I took him to so many psychiatrists and therapysts until 2007. After that he decided that he will try to control his moods and feelings by himself by prayers. He strongly believes in God and everytime he gets bad moods and feels depressed, he prays to God. We go to church every day and now he says that he feels very much happy and self controlled than before and feels that life is much easier. He is even prepared to give advice and help anybody who has aspergers, to deal with it.
Anonymous said…
I know someone with AS. He is very clever but a bit awkward and comes across kind of shy. He is a very good musician. I play in a band with him sometimes. He doesn't have a job and I don't think he could work. People are too cruel sometimes. I don't know him that well but I like him and want to tell him I accept him for who he is and that he's a fully paid up member of the human race no matter what. It sounds like Aspies get treated really badly sometimes.

I get quite emotional about this because I have been bullied and never quite fitted in most my life so I can imagine what it's like. Often think maybe I might have AS. I have some of the traits but it could be other stuff too.

Anonymous said…
My idea of a vacation is my family going and me staying home alone for a week. Then immediately feeling quilty for even feeling that way and would never let them know. Sometimes I wish I lived on an island alone. I stay in my head 90% of the day analyzing why I feel this or why I do that. Cant carry on conversations with people because im analyzing my responce while they are talking to me... so it comes out sounding fake... "uh hu, right, sure, oh ok, right" with no actual insight from me on the topic. Its so frustrating bc I feel that I'm slightly more intelligent than most of the people that I converse with and could give some somewhat brilliant insight into the topic but for some reason I fall apart in social situations. so in turn my ego makes me avoid social situations. Every friend Ive ever had eventually faded away bc of my lack of correspondence. Then when Ive actually taken the prozac properly and feel somewhat normal I have so much guilt for failing my friends. Theres no in between.. Im either super confident and fun or trapped in my head and taken as being snobby when actually its the complete opposite... lack of confidence.....always misunderstood. ok im sick of whining... just wanna go to sleep.. Thanks mom and dad... you really gave me a great chance at life! Did I mention I'm a little bitter and feel cheated of a chance! Lol. Wishing a great day to all!
Unknown said…
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Anonymous said…
I am a high functioning Aspie who suffers from depression.
What underlines my depression is that I set certain standards for myself and expect others to maintain them too.
I was brought up to believe that sharing was good, but find that as a species we tend to value those people who are or whose ancestors were thieves, liars and murderers.
I was taught to do well in school, get qualifications and go to University, but again as a species we value those who have nothing more to offer the world than throw a ball around or waggle their genitals at a camera while singing about a disco stick.
So humanity disappoints me.

Anonymous said…
People with aspergers really need to STOP REPRODUCING. How can screwed up people keep having kids? Your kids will never have a chance. I have asperger friends who say both of their parents have it. You have to be kidding me? And now they want to hang themselves everyday. Sorry you got bad genetics. Stop passing them along and punishing kids who have it because you were selfish. Just stop. PLEASE!!!
Anonymous said…
OMG!!! This was awesome. Love the thanking the parent part. Bahaha!! It's what I tell my ex. Stop being angry at others and slap your parents. Lol
Gavin Bollard said…

There are people who feel sad about having Asperger's syndrome but there are many people who are happy about it too.

Genocide is not the answer to this question. In fact, Genocide is not the answer to ANY question.

A world without Asperger's syndrome is a world without Science, Art, True Emotions and Creativity. I doubt if any of us would like a world without it.
Anonymous said…
I know many aspies who are in a lot of pain. The biggest thing I noticed with my friends is depression, over stimulation and failure to reconize danger. One girlfriend of mine puts herself in the most dangerous situations and still can't seperate the fact that what she is doing could put her in prison for life. I know as a male NT it would be a world of confussion if I tried dating one. They have amazing blue eyes and look youthful, but they're bat crazy:))
Anonymous said…
Please don't have anymore kids. Thanks!!!
Anonymous said…
Yeah same here. They don't forget anything and they can't let go of the past. Keeping letters, emails and texts for years. Just the way they are. I have learned to say very little so they don't throw it in my face letter .
Anonymous said…
Why did you marry him? Lol
Julie said…
Trolls pop up everywhere I see. This is a great website and I am enjoying reading people's comments. I'm a female Aspie aged 50, so lots of life experience but still can't figure out why anyone would be cruel for no reason. You are to be pitied I guess as you obviously have such an awful life that you need to waste time being mean to strangers...
Chrissy said…
I have been diagnosed with aspergers. My physiologists don't believe me because I now function so well or so it seems. I can look people in the eye and all that stuff. But on the I side I'm constantly turning everything inside my head and I walls feel guilty. Even on things that are about of my control or happened years and years ago. Any advice would be great. As I often feel lost and alone and alienated. Is this just a self conscious thing or an aspie thing. I also suffer with depression and have been on medication since 2005
Chrissy said…
Can anyone recommend physiologists specialising in patients with aspergers in Perth wa.
Unknown said…
I was initially diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 42, than later that year learned I actually had aspergers. This explained a lot about my life. Why I couldn't seem to keep a normal job. Why people didn't seem to understand me (unless I write, then I can be exceptionally articulate) and visa-versa. Why I would do self destructive things, which made no sense to me or anyone else. Why it was so hard to focus or Why I just couldn't seem to lead a normal life. etc. etc.
Ironically I have a son, who was diagnosed with autism before he was two and because I unknowingly suffered the same condition, I could never focus to benefit him as well as, I would have liked to. However, it always seemed I was exceptionally creative and excellent at immediate practical problem solving. In example, some things such as carpentry, operating software like photoshop and ArcGIS for the creation of Maps seem insanely easy. Other things such as math,social behavior and work ethic that was easy for others took intense study for me to begin to comprehend.

Quite frankly, I would be homeless if it were not for overgenerous parents (who probably secretly wanted to strangle me), my few friends that have helped me and a boyfriend who is over-tolerant and forgiving.
It is so frustrating, because I am highly intelligent, creative and capable, yet it seems like I'm always running in place. I'm hoping that I can still make something of my life, despite the late diagnosis. I'm only now beginning to understand who I am and why I am the way I am. I have been watching a lot of Temple Grandin's lectures, does anyone know of any other helpful resources?
Wendy said…
My 16 year old daughter is an Aspie kid with major depression/anxiety. She was on a fistful of medications that weren"t tempering the depression. After several bouts of suicidal ideations, we admitted her into a 30-day facility that specializes in AS teens who are at high risk. Her medicines were adjusted, and she had therapy sessions every day. It all seemed to help a little. It's been a rollercoaster ride, to say the least.
Anonymous said…
I volunteer with AS kids in 1st grade. They are so sweet and have yet to realize that they are not like their peers. I have AS myself, and as a kid I believed that the other kids were immature and would eventually catch up with me. Well they did not and now I am close to 40 years. Last year I had a major depression. It was my first and I hope last. One thing that triggered the disease was the loneliness of knowing I will never truely be NORMAL :)
Well I prefer AS anyway - would just like more people to be aspies. It would be more fun. Started a meetup group in my town for female aspies. I guess there are some fascinating people out there that I will get to meet :)
Anonymous said…
My son is 15 years old and he was diagnosed with AS when he was 13, after he was severely depressed given his struggle at school. He begged me to kill him and thanks God this triggered an urgent assessment which revealed underlying issues at school, including bullying and isolation.

From the moment he was diagnosed, the constant reports from school about lack of cooperation and constant confrontation with teachers turned into a more understanding approach to his learning needs, however there is no consistent support for him and in any case he has always argued that he does not need academic support (he is high functioning but lack social skills and motivation.

I have never discussed the meaning of his diagnosis with him, not just because he would struggle to understand (giving his rigid thinking) but also because he has been very upset when some teachers or peers refer to him as “different” (which triggered his depression two years ago). He refuses to access special support from school arguing that he is not “retarded”. He sees himself as fully able and cannot see any difference between him and other students (he presents as such in some respects). Hence, I am in a dilemma thinking that it would be more damaging for him to be labelled with AS at this stage of his development and that he will be more ready to understand his condition when he is more mature. I would greatly appreciate your thoughts on this.

I've been reading about the symptoms of this and it's making a lot of sense in my life , a scary amount of sense.
Anonymous said…
I would like to know where can one with Asperger chat with another with the same condition?
I'm 21
Gavin Bollard said…
You can chat with other people who have Asperger's syndrome on forums. Probably the biggest and the best of these is Simply register for a logon there and then join the forums. If you want to talk one to one, then join an appropriate forum and leave a message asking people to "PM" (personal message) you ... and give them some idea of the topic.

If you're new to forums, it's a good idea to browse around first to get a feel for the etiquette.
Anonymous said…
Seems i am a little late coming to this page. I am 29, have asperger syndrome, and I am trying to get out of a marijuana addiction. As of now (2016 May 6 12:00 PM PDT (vancouver), i am 10 days clean. I got heavy into weed because i was so god damn sick of feeling guilty and ashamed all the damn time. I remember being completely screwed up as a little kid, I took a lot of psychological damage (i dont want to give details on that one), and it really fucked up my view of family life and the human world.

Also, i went through the social services system from beginning of memory to when i was adopted at 7. Foster parents and my family tried to raise me right, but somehow i simply viewed parents and family as people who had authority over me and were always pissed off and power tripping. Gave me a festering 'guilty' conscience that made me feel like a complete criminal for all my AS-related mistakes that made people call me a creep and hate me etc. Someone gets pissed, at me, i have a panic attack, then i am full of rage and contempt against that person. My 'conscience' is a pile of fucked up brain processes that attaches itself to people in my mind, and i more than once made the mistake of taking out my anger on others, just to make them feel how i felt. But that never worked.

I had a messed up relationship with a girl, who i fell in love with (everyone knows that when relationships explode, love then turns into a mental disease). She hurt me, i tried to make her feel guilty over time, i so desperately wanted that power trip; to see what it feels like to be NOT on the recieving end. But i grudgingly had to admit that never works.

Recently, i quit weed, even went to some NA meetings, I dropped my grudge against my ex, told her i was sorry for all the shit i put her through in retaliation. I thought by dropping the baggage, i could be free too. THAT FEELS LIKE A LIE. Because now i dropped my anger against her, the guilt came back even 10 fold. She is moving on and i want to do the same, however

my conscience just wants me to feel like shit for months. I feel like i lost the privilege and the chance to ever have an intimate relationship again. The guilt makes me cry sometimes.

Last year, when i was still mad at her, i got involved with smoking weed. I had trouble finding decent work; i felt guilty and like a bad person, and I was so sick of it. Weed took the guilt away, but I hid behind a cloud of thc smoke and developed a hostile attitude towards the world and those who made me feel like shit. Then my conscience made me feel even worse for smoking weed, and I withdrew from circles because i felt so worthless. I chose to quit because i was sick of being even more paranoid (i quit because i was paranoid of being arrested lol).

But i feel like i only stepped back into the oily guilt. I even tried to kill myself a few months back. impulsive, minimal effort, obviously did not succeed but i was horrified by what i tried to do. and i haven't attempted it since. nor do i plan to.

i feel like, growing up, i was stripped of my mental defenses, with my empathy being left open for the taking by others. That made me hate people with a passion.

i cant take much more of this guilt shit.

Unknown said…
Hi, I know this comment is old. Are you still available to chat?
Tryptofanaticat said…
I almost always felt alone with friends. "Friends." I always had to perform and be a certain way to be receptive to them, but I always just wanted to go back home. Even when I would have fun sometimes I would come back home and just cry, releiving the pressure and acting for hours was exhausting in a way I didn't understand for years. But alone and lone were things I always felt resigned to, which made high school nothing but breeding ground for depression and hatred. Not at myself, but I hated everyone else. What I hated about myself was being someone who felt so different and un-fun that I couldn't just be sociable and act the way others were with each other. That whole practice still feels unpleasant and very forced.
Shanaya said…
Besides, the complaints about mental health services can also be made on this website for everyone to see. The other participants of the website also get to know about the centers that they should avoid.
Anonymous said…
To the person who asked why people with aspergers reproduce, here is my explanation. The wife of a man with aspergers and depression and no diagnosis, I had children because it was better to cure my loneliness and create hope for the future by having children, than abandon my husband to cure my loneliness by going home. When you can't abandon someone but you can't live as your husband's housemaid while he lives in one room,without trying to squeeze some happiness and companionship out of life, you have children. Because then if he eventually decides he doesn't want you and let's you go, you will have something to show for the years you gave up trying to preserve your integrity and honour. You will still have family after he has wasted everything else.

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