Just thought I'd post a link to an article on Aspie Employment which was posted on the Parenting Aspergers Blog today. It reinforces a lot of what I've been saying about the importance of the special interest.
Although the answer to this question may seem simple, it recurs with alarming regularity on aspie forums everywhere. Often, it is confused with the aspie's ability to find a partner or the famous aspie empathy problems - these are different things altogether which I'll hopefully discuss in follow-up posts. Emotional Behavior in Aspies Aspies are very capable of loving but they often confuse the issue by adopting an altogether too rigid view of love. Despite popular mis-belief, aspies are generally fairly emotional beings. We have intense feelings of happiness and even more intense feelings of sadness. The smallest triggers can produce huge emotional responses in us. While a bad day at work may make an NT grumpy, it could make an aspie feel suicidal. Similarly, when something good happens an aspie may seem to be over-reacting or overly happy. Most aspie adults have long since learned to control excessive displays of happiness but it's very apparent in aspie children...
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I'm currently undergoing treatment for clinical depression and the psychiatrist suggested I have autistic tendencies such as my inability to to "feel" for the last 15 years.
In the last couple years I found a hobby I am obsessed with and a man who makes my heart ache every time I think of him. I got injured and can't do my hobby anymore and the man is getting married to someone else. Now i'm flooded with grief.
I end up crying without realising it and I can't stop. I tried staying away from him and I had a physical breakdown, vomiting, stopped sleeping, crying and screaming 24/7.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to cope. I've never believed in love, what people label love isn't what I read in books. It isn't forever for other people. But I haven't thought about another man since the day I met him, he's my best friend, the most beautiful person i've ever seen and we met in the gym where I taught him my hobby, my sport.
I can't live without him, when he gets married, i'll die.
How can I go back to not feeling? How can I shut down again so it doesn't hurt anymore?
Asperger's is like a blessing and a curse all in one. For so long I wouldn't let myself feel, now it's overwhelming.
How can I love another?
Blessing and curse indeed.