I've been asked on a few occasions to do a post on dreams and dreaming, so this is it. It's not an area I'm particularly familiar with because I've never really considered that dreaming may be different for aspies. I guess that any responses to this post will help us to find out.
Remembering Dreams
Some time ago, I did an unstructured and impromptu survey to find out whether aspies tend to remember or forget their dreams. I got a total of 52 responses which were allocated as follows;
- I Don't think that I Dream 1% [ 1 ]
- I Usually Remember my Dreams 44% [ 23 ]
- I know I've had a Dream but lose the details when I wake up 28% [ 15 ]
- I Can Remember my Dream for about 2 hours after Waking - then it disappears 25% [ 13]
I've always had fairly vivid dreams and surprisingly, I've remembered quite a few of them. My childhood dreams are still clear as crystal, it's my adult dreams that I don't remember as well.
Night Terrors and Nightmares
As a child, I often woke up with nightmares. These were quite often about being trapped in a cave by falling rocks. I'm not quite sure why this would be the case since I'd never been caving and I can't recall watching any caving films. There were other things too, like falling from the top of buildings but mostly it was to do with imagining things in the darkness of my room. I wonder if I had some issues with reality verus fiction.
In any case, the night terrors and my theory that it's more to do with a poor sense of reality is one of the main reasons I've been so "unrestricted" on censorship with my own children. For the record, although every once in a while the youngest has a bad dream, they certainly don't have night terrors. They're very clear on what's real and what's not.
I eventually overcame the night terrors by;
- Adopting my mother's belief that bad dreams were your body's way of waking you for a toilet break.
- Getting myself a bed lamp which I could reach out and switch on whenever I got scared.
Epic Dreams
When I wasn't having night terrors, it was simply normal dreaming. The best dreams were "epic dreams. Epic dreams were dreams which were so large and so complex that it took several nights to get the entire dream completed. They weren't always on sensible subjects and I can clearly remember one about a witches gathering (not scary, quite friendly actually) which went on for about a week. I can remember being eager to go to bed so I could see the next part of the dream. I loved dreaming about flying on a broomstick with a coven of witches and I was really sad when the dream ended.
Normal(?) Dreams
My normal dreams were always a bit weird and particularly in my childhood, they didn't focus so much on people as the mechnanics of things. I suspect that this might be one of the ways that aspergers manifests itself in dreaming.
One of the best dreams from my childhood was about going to visit my next door neighbour and discovering quite accidentally that if I made swimming motions with my hands and feet, I would actually be able to float in the air and control my direction. This particular dream was so vivid that I remember being anxious to rush outside and try it, just in case it really worked. (it didn't). It seems strange that so many of my dreams were about flying and falling.
Day Dreams
My mother always used to call me a "daydreamer". She was probably right but I don't see it as a bad thing. I think that a lot of my creativity comes from daydreaming.
My daydreams are very vivid and often I snap out of them wondering which bits were real and which were false. Occasionally, my daydreams turn to day-nightmares and they can seriously "freak me out".
Arguably the worst daydream I'd ever had was one where I clearly saw a nuclear payload drop from a plane. The daydream was so vivid that I felt heat on my face and could clearly remember the arguments my parents had about what to do.
For weeks afterwards, I watched every plane that flew past with something like dread in case it was a premonition. Since then, circumstances have changed (my parents no longer own the house in the dream), so I guess I can presume that it wasn't.
Your say?
There's not really a lot more I can say about my dreams. I've had quite a bit of deja vu but as usual, it's hard to "remember" what actually happens until it does actually happen. I don't see "deja vu" as premonition although I did when I was younger. These days, I believe it's just a feeling that comes from doing similar activities.
If there's anything about dreams which is particular to aspies, I haven't found it yet. Perhaps other people can highlight similarities and differences?
Comments
My 7 yo AS son has such vivid dreams, that he swears up & down that it really happened.
He has described in detail his vomit to a member of our congregation who then asked why we were there if Josiah had gotten sick earlier in the day. (never happened) He also insisted that he rode a roller coaster one morning & told everyone that all day long. (never happened)
So, I had to just "believe" that what he "dreamed" was "real" to him & accept it for that.
Curious...
He wakes up daily & tells me his dreams, whether nightmares or not.
Thanks for sharing... by the way, do you know anything about lucid dreaming? Did your "epic" dreams you described, continue each night willingly?
Kelly K
I just wanted to comment on the "Luicid Dreaming" question:
I have had lucid dreams since I was probably around 2. I taught myself the skill originally as a means to stop my own nightmares (at the time stemming from my parent's divorce).
I have used this skill with both of my older boys for the same reason. We have used it as a way to not only be able to stop what is going on in a nightmare, but of course to enable us to do the flying dream (I too had that as a child and LOVED it).
My oldest, with HFA, doesn't seem to be able to grasp it, but my middle son, now 6, began explaining his dreams to me in GREAT detail when he as 18 months old (very advanced verbal skills helped this). He is able to lucid dream just like me.
My oldest son does seem to have the vivid nightmares that I have a hard time "proving" aren't real. Like as if it is my memory against his. That line of real and imaginary is a hard one for him.
Thanks, as always Gavin, for opening up another conversation!
Hartley
hartleysboys.blogspot.com
In a future post, can you talk about the need for privacy that many Aspies have?
I have often dreamed about different building (not real ones, just in my dreams)and could probably draw a layout of many of these.
It's interesting that you wrote this because I have felt that my dreams aren't like most people's who have described their dreams to me.
i used to have epic dreams when i was young. i also have dreams with sequels that come up years later (i usually realise it's a sequel while i'm dreaming). i had terrible nightmares all through my childhood of being persued by people on motorbikes dressed in black, w/ black helmets i couldn't see into. these dreams stopped when i learnt lucid dreaming to give myself the "super power" of running faster than light. i never daydream even though i've always wished i would/could. my dreams usually are to do w/ people but sometimes they can be very abstract too, like dreaming about how individual numbers feel (i'm really into maths so i love those kinda dreams). i talk to people quite alot about dreams and from what they describe the only difference between nt dreams and mine is i've never heard an nt tell me about epic dreams.
Dreams have always been a favorite subject for me. I find it interesting to think that Aspergers could cause my son to dream differently. Never really thought about that before.
He loves to tell me his dreams in great detail, like reciting a favorite movie. I remember thinking one was particularly odd, because he dreamed that he was a cartoon character on the kids' show, "Rug Rats". I've never heard of anyone else dreaming as cartoons. Have you?
Also, I wanted to thank you for your comment about daydreams becoming like nightmares that really 'freaked you out'. About two weeks ago, my son was sitting in his room and suddenly thought that I was an alien who was out to hurt him. He became panicked and ran out of the house crying. He tried to hop our fence and backed away from me when I tried to help him down.
It was terrifying for me to see him like that. I managed to get him back into his bedroom, but he continued insisting I was 'one of them' and cried out for his little brother to come help him.
There was a knock at the front door, so I had to leave him for a moment. When I came back, he'd snapped out of it and was back to himself. He remembered everything, but had no idea why he'd acted like that. The closest thing to an explanation he could come up with was that he'd tried to scare his brother about aliens, but ended up scaring himself.
His pediatrician said it could have been a type of seizure, but that kids don't normally remember them afterwards. Now after reading your post, I'm wondering if it was just a day dream gone bad.
Does this description sound similar to what you meant by being freaked out about your daydreams that turned scary?
My nightmares are usually of storms and trying to locate a phone, only to find that there are just a few numbers on the dial. I'm thinking those relate to my wanting to connect with people. My frustrations showing up in my dream world. Amy
I am a 30 year old adult in the process of being diagnosed and was curious about whether Aspies have emotional dreaming because I definitely have always been scared in my dreams, but rarely happy.
Usually, I wake up disappointed because I've been so able to control my dream...more so when I realize I haven't dreamed something 'normal' despite my control. I often know I have dreamed but remember the details slowly, if at all, sometimes over the course of years but that's always suspect after so long a time.
I learned to narrate and observe my dreams naturally around the age of 7, probably from one of the many scifi shows I loved.
I usually dream as a character in a real story or one I've made up, It usually feels like starring in a movie without being asked and the other characters defer to me often saying things like "What are we suposed to do now?" as though we all know we're in a dream.
I too still clearly remember dreams from years past and have a hard time remembering truth from dream. My favorite dream I still remember is of a giant library with a spiral stair that when I looked up, looked like a bisected moonshell.
I often dream of wandering through elaborate buildings, often amalgums of real places.
As a child and teen I would often see a spiral and feel I was falling, jerking up physically and waking.This was when I first would go to sleep.I'd also have an overwhelming feeling that I knew the feeling of being dead,tho' I knew I wasn't dead, at night. I would bolt up freaking out,unable to shake the feeling as I'd try to go to sleep again. From an early age I'd also go through my whole morning routine, including morning class, only to open my eyes still in bed.Sometimes I'd run downstairs to ask my Mom if I'd been downstairs and what day it was.
I have also had the 'air swimming' dream as well as repetative and epic dreams sometimes over the course of years.
I often have about one dream a year that sticks with me for it's simple realism and it'll pop back into memory years later when it's mirrored in reality so,I used to worry I could be clairvoyent or psychic or schitzophrenic *haha*
There's always a problem to solve in my dreams, I'm often flying at some point and I'm often being pursued. I still have a fear of the dark.
As a child I was a horrible insomniac, convinced that there was a reality 'normal' people knew nothing about that was actually interacting with me while I slept.I was terrified of my corner closet and of my family 'turning bad' and coming to get me, ala more scifi stories. I was also terrified of allowing my limbs to dangle over my bed,usually afraid of syringes being stuck in them(my Mom watched alot of crime shows with drugging of victims) I would often wake up on the floor.I still prefer floor-sleeping.
I hope my overly wordy reply post is interesting and helpful.
Thanks again.
Also, I have had many flying dreams in which it feels like I am swimming through the air and it is quite amazing. All of my flying dreams occur in the same place (in the car park of my local super market) and often I have to get away from someone or something on the ground.
After reading this blog I really do think that I do have Aspergers (although I'm not sure I would like the hassle of going to the GP and get her to worry about me)
thank you for reading.
I believe I am a high functioning aspie adult. It took a long time to look people in the face when I talk to them, to give and receive hugs comfortably, and even to understand the world around me. I have come a long way but even now that I have a husband and loving friends and family, there are still no faces in my dreams. Not my husband, not my parents, not even of people I don't know or have made up. I might know they are happy, but its like the "camera" is never on them. It makes me sad that I still don't dream in full conversations with people that I care about in the same way that my friends in high school used to describe.
Please tell me I'm not the only one....?
Ever since I was a little kid I've dreamt of flying in my dreams. Sometimes for the fun of it, and sometimes to get away when I feel I'm being persecuted. Often I jump from tall buildings, cliffs, mountains or precipices. I do fall for a while before my flying abilities take effect, and then I can fly and even glide like a condor through valleys and what not traveling long distances through the countryside. But here is a weird rule that's been stuck in my brain: I can only fly as fast as I am old. For example, if I'm 25 years old, my maximum speed is 25 miles per hour. Go figure!
Sometimes I can take off from the ground, but again, it doesn't happen right away, there seems to be s lag from when I try to when I actually take off. This lag, whether it be from the ground or when I jump off things can be quite scary and/or frustrating, but it is a relief once I get going. And once I get going it can be quite reassuring and peaceful, unless my speed limitations are an impediment to my safety or arriving somewhere in time. A small consolation is that at least I can go in a straight line
As with many dreams, I had no background on the situation I was in.
I came into the dream seeing what I understood to be one corner of a concrete patio overlooking a lush, green yard. The grass was very dark and very long, 10-12 inches. A breeze made waves ripple across it. A wall of dense trees, like a tall hedge was the rear border of the yard. The sky was dark and ominous. It was the same lighting as at the end of "Gladiator" when Maximus' spirit is walking through the fields in the afterlife to rejoin his dead wife and son.
I also had no background on my need to leave the patio and go into the yard.
My dog, Shere Khan, a beautiful half pit bull with a brindle coat, was with me. We both had to leave the patio, so we walked to my right where the ground was only about a foot down, choosing the correct spot.
I bent down and scooped up the perfectly healthy, muscular one year-old dog beside me, and stepped off the patio.
We were instantly falling toward a ground defined by squares and straight lines from a great height.
I woke up before hitting.
I did not expect, while still shaking off the anxiety of a falling dream, to walk out into the living room to find my mother and stepfather staring in horror at the television showing at least one of the Twin Towers burning, I truly don't remember. I do remember people jumping to their deaths to escape the flames.
I have watched every video I could find of people falling from the Towers. It was not at a pleasant experience. I feel an incredible heart-broken helplessness when I think about it.
There were two different ones that showed a man and a woman falling together on the side of the building away from the smoke.
I've studied the symbolism in the dream, filtered through my understanding and into my context, and come up with this analysis;
The man and woman were either intimate or the terror made them become close in the stress of mutual threat. That is why the closest female to me was in the dream. I loved that dog deeply for her love of me. She was almost always with me.
The patio was the building. The yard was the afterlife. The sky was dark because there was no joy in being forced to go there.
I picked Khan up because the woman was either too scared to jump, but didn't want to burn, or, maybe because they loved one another, too, and wanted to die together if it was going to happen anyway.
I have been horrified, traumatized, and fascinated by this dream for years.
The mechanics of it are what fascinate me. How did I have direct, concurrent experiences with someone I didn't know from hundreds of miles away?
If any other Aspies had any similar experience, I would love to hear from you here or by email, jack_graeme@yahoo.com
After reading this, I had that flying dream for many years, and I wore a yarmulke that I used to describe as a tiny baseball cap without a bill (having never seen one) then one day I saw a Jewish man wearing my cap and I tugged on my mom's arm, "look mom, there is a man wearing my dream hat."
I have also had many epic dreams, some so real I a sense of really being/ living somewhere else, and then then surprised at my, unknown to me in the dream, my alternate waking reality world.
I can't put my finger on it, but I have come to believe that I, and possibly other Aspies, have connections with others through dreams, piercing the veil separating us that others assume, or clutch onto for their own sanity and security, is at times an false illusion. I have had the same dreams as others I have slept with, and could finish telling them about their dreams before they finish. Sometimes when I dream, I wake up wondering whose dream that it was that I just experienced, knowing it was not mine. I don't believe that my personal dreams are strictly imagination, nor something that is confined to or originates in my mind alone, but rather a gift that if it does no more, can at worse, illustrate how connected we all really are, and at best, have some valuable application.