Now that my kids are around their mid-teens, the question of driving is starting to come up. Not from them of course because itās pretty common for kids on the spectrum to have little or no interest in driving - but from friends and family.
In todayās society, the means and ability to drive is very important, particularly if you live outside the inner city areas, you have tools that you need to carry for work or you have a job that moves from place to place.
Like most things, driving is a skill thatās best mastered while youāre young
In general terms and under normal circumstances, driving with Aspergerās is no more or less safe than any other form of driving.
Left to their own devices in a comfortable home setting, a person with Aspergerās syndrome is extremely unlikely to become motivated enough to want to learn to drive. Itās up to the parent to give them a push.
The driving tests ensure that your teen has a good understanding of the road rules and the effects of drugs and alcohol on driving. Even if your teen is a pedestrian or if theyāre going to get a ride with friends, this is good information to know. Thereās also the fact that job applicants with drivers licences are often looked upon more favourably than those without - even if the job doesnāt involve driving. It shows that the applicants are willing to work for goals outside of school.
Obviously thereās a difference between pushing your teen towards driving and becoming an insufferable nag. If you push too hard and too often, youāll turn your teen off the idea of driving. Sometimes you just have to push a little and then give them a little space.
When it comes to the more practical parts of the test, you should start the lessons yourself in a deserted area, like a new estate on a weekend. Starting the lessons yourself means that youāre in the best position to gauge your teenās anxiety levels and to āback offā if required.
Once your teen is a reasonably good driver, youāll want to engage an instructor for a few lessons.
Instructors are expensive but theyāre also very familiar with the tests and will be able to teach your teen things that are looked upon favourably by the testers; for example hovering the foot over the brake pedal as you go over a pedestrian (zebra) crossing.
There was one incident from my university days where the university services team mis-binded a 300 page assignment and I had to drive home in tears and at maniac speeds to reprint the whole thing on a slow dot-matrix printer in time to resubmit in the same 24 hour period.
I remember very little apart from cars pulling over and giving way to me, so I was obviously driving poorly.
If Iād been thinking a little more clearly, I could have explained the problem to my professor, left her with the mis-binded version and probably been allowed to submit it properly the following day without penalties. Iām just grateful that nobody was hurt that day.
You need to ensure that your teenager knows that no situation is unsolvable. If they're close to a meltdown -- don't drive. Call mum or dad!
As a teen, I found that my driving was quite good when I was mucking around but it wasnāt so good when I was driving normally. This is something to do with my general alertness levels. I still probably would have been okay but because I had very little experience, I was unprepared for unexpected issues such as wet roads and people parking in unexpected places.
Once my kids are driving, Iāll be putting them through defensive driving courses to help them handle those unexpected conditions. It's expensive but it's safer and far less costly than repairing cars and property.
In todayās society, the means and ability to drive is very important, particularly if you live outside the inner city areas, you have tools that you need to carry for work or you have a job that moves from place to place.
Like most things, driving is a skill thatās best mastered while youāre young
Is it Safe?
One of the first questions that people ask regarding Aspergerās syndrome and driving is āis it safe?ā. Since people with Aspergerās syndrome are, by definition, highly functional, they certainly can have a good grasp of the concepts and dangers of driving. Theyāre able to follow road rules and theyāre able to devote the attention needed to driving.In general terms and under normal circumstances, driving with Aspergerās is no more or less safe than any other form of driving.
The Motivation to Drive
Many teens with Aspergerās syndrome lack the direct motivation to drive. There are quite a few reasons for this;- Theyāre usually happy to stay at home in familiar surroundings
- Other family members will often give them a lift
- Lacking deep friendships, theyāre less inclined to go out anywhere with friends
- Their meagre needs can usually be serviced by local shops (walking or public transport)
- Many special interests; books, computer, TV, the internet & music occur at home
- Online shopping reduces the need to travel
- The prospect of learning; Forms, tests, costs, lessons etc, is daunting & easily avoided
- People with Aspergerās try to avoid stress and other people - driving involves both.
Left to their own devices in a comfortable home setting, a person with Aspergerās syndrome is extremely unlikely to become motivated enough to want to learn to drive. Itās up to the parent to give them a push.
Should you give them a push?
If your teen with Aspergerās has the ability to pass the test, at least the verbal/written parts of the test, then absolutely, you should encourage or bribe them into going for their driverās licence. There are lots of positives, even if they donāt drive or donāt end up owning a car.The driving tests ensure that your teen has a good understanding of the road rules and the effects of drugs and alcohol on driving. Even if your teen is a pedestrian or if theyāre going to get a ride with friends, this is good information to know. Thereās also the fact that job applicants with drivers licences are often looked upon more favourably than those without - even if the job doesnāt involve driving. It shows that the applicants are willing to work for goals outside of school.
Obviously thereās a difference between pushing your teen towards driving and becoming an insufferable nag. If you push too hard and too often, youāll turn your teen off the idea of driving. Sometimes you just have to push a little and then give them a little space.
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This is me, with my P Plates back in 1987 |
Passing the Test
Youāll need to work with your teen on passing the written tests which these days are less about common sense and more about facts and figures. If your teen is having trouble passing, look for practice tests online and leave handy reminders for the more difficult questions around the house.When it comes to the more practical parts of the test, you should start the lessons yourself in a deserted area, like a new estate on a weekend. Starting the lessons yourself means that youāre in the best position to gauge your teenās anxiety levels and to āback offā if required.
Once your teen is a reasonably good driver, youāll want to engage an instructor for a few lessons.
Instructors are expensive but theyāre also very familiar with the tests and will be able to teach your teen things that are looked upon favourably by the testers; for example hovering the foot over the brake pedal as you go over a pedestrian (zebra) crossing.
Meltdowns and Driving
The one thing that you need to stress to your teen is that they should not drive while they are in (or near) a meltdown state.There was one incident from my university days where the university services team mis-binded a 300 page assignment and I had to drive home in tears and at maniac speeds to reprint the whole thing on a slow dot-matrix printer in time to resubmit in the same 24 hour period.
I remember very little apart from cars pulling over and giving way to me, so I was obviously driving poorly.
If Iād been thinking a little more clearly, I could have explained the problem to my professor, left her with the mis-binded version and probably been allowed to submit it properly the following day without penalties. Iām just grateful that nobody was hurt that day.
You need to ensure that your teenager knows that no situation is unsolvable. If they're close to a meltdown -- don't drive. Call mum or dad!
General Driving
You can usually relax once your teen has their licence, as kids with Aspergerās often donāt have the same amount of peer pressure as those without. This means that thereās often less reckless driving. Itās not a rule though and youāll still have to watch their behaviour around their friends for signs of unsafe behaviour.As a teen, I found that my driving was quite good when I was mucking around but it wasnāt so good when I was driving normally. This is something to do with my general alertness levels. I still probably would have been okay but because I had very little experience, I was unprepared for unexpected issues such as wet roads and people parking in unexpected places.
Once my kids are driving, Iāll be putting them through defensive driving courses to help them handle those unexpected conditions. It's expensive but it's safer and far less costly than repairing cars and property.
Comments
It's not an extra limit that Aspies have and non-Aspies (whether NT or neither-NT-nor-Aspie) don't!
If you're starting to have an asthma attack, pull over and stop driving.
If one of your passengers has started to distract you a lot, pull over and stop driving.
If your phone suddenly rang and you need to answer it because it might be an emergency, pull over and stop driving.
etc.
Pulling over when you start to have a meltdown isn't something that singles you out from non-Aspie drivers, it's something that unites you with other good drivers. :D