Skip to main content

Welcome to 2022

It's 2022 and after something of a hiatus, I'm back. I figure it's time for an update on who I am and where my family is at. 

I'm on the autism spectrum and am in my early 50s. I lived the first 35 years of my life with no knowledge of my place on the spectrum and little understanding of autism. My two sons, both with Asperger's syndrome are now aged 18 and 21. I'm still with my wife of 24 years and I'm still employed full time in the IT section of  the financial sector. 

I've been blogging on the subject of autism and Asperger's since 2007 and prior to that I was a regular on the WrongPlanet Aspergers forum. 

My Eldest

When my eldest son was in school, he was fairly social but not terribly academic. We naturally expected this trend to continue after school. What seems to have happened is exactly the opposite. 

Since leaving school my eldest has been employed full time and is doing his second diploma at TAFE. This is great but socially he's struggling. We're finding that like many young adults today, he's addicted to computer games. COVID hasn't helped either, it's made many kids too scared to go out.

I wonder if as parents, we focused too much on helping him to develop his weaker side and neglected his stronger traits. My plan for this year is to see if we can work on the social side.

My Youngest

My youngest is the opposite. At school, we weren't too worried about academic progress but we were worried about his social skills. This completely turned around in his last couple of years at school and now he has a good life outside of school. 

He finished his schooling in December last year, so our focus will be on post-school academics and work. 

As with my eldest, this is the opposite scenario to what we anticipated. It's a strange situation to be in.


2021 was an incredibly difficult year for us as, I know, it was for many other people too. I guess that now it's time for us to pick up the pieces and find ourselves again.


Popular posts from this blog

Why Do Aspies Suddenly Back-Off in Relationships? (Part 1)

One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is why an aspie (or suspected aspie) suddenly goes "cold" and backs off on an otherwise good relationship. It's a difficult question and the answers would vary considerably from one person to another and would depend greatly on the circumstances. Nevertheless, I'll try to point out some possibilities. Negative Reasons I generally like to stay positive on this blog and assume that people are not necessarily "evil" but simply misguided. Unfortunately, I do have to acknowledge that there are some people out there who take advantage of others. I read a book a few years ago on "sociopaths in the workplace" and I was stunned by the figures. They suggested that sociopaths were so common that most workplaces (small business) had at least one or two. The fact is that there are lots of people out there who really feel very little for others and who are very manipulative. I'd like to say that aspies are

Aspie Myths - "He Won't Miss Me"

I apologise for the excessive "male-orientated" viewpoint in this post. I tried to keep it neutral but somehow, it just works better when explained from a male viewpoint. Here's a phrase that I've seen repeated throughout the comments on this blog on several occasions; "I know that he won't miss me when I'm gone because he's aspie" Today, we're going to (try to) bust that myth; Individuals I'll start off with a reminder that everyone is an individual. If all aspies were completely alike and predictible, they'd be a stereotype but they're not. Each is shaped by their background, their upbringing, their beliefs and their local customs. An aspie who grew up with loud abusive parents has a reasonable chance of becoming loud and abusive themselves because in some cases, that's all they know. That's how they think adults are supposed to behave. In other cases, aspies who grew up in those circumstances do a complete a

Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2)

In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. They can over analyze situations and responses in an effort to capture lost nonverbal communication. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. Everything made up by aspies will tend to be tainted with their own self image. This is one of reasons that people with Asperger's will sometimes decide that they are not good enough for their partner and that they must let them go. Sometimes, the aspie will develop a notion of chivalry or self-sacri