Masking is one of the most crucial skills that autistic people develop. We learn to mask at an early age simply by copying our peers so that we become less of a target for bullies. In our working lives, we mask to become "one of team", to keep our jobs, to avoid being singled out and to avoid becoming the subject of gossip and speculation. It's no exaggeration to say that for an autistic person, the ability to mask is a life-saver.
It is well established that very young autistics mask quite poorly and that as a general rule, our ability to mask improves as we get older, so that by the time they are adults in the workforce, many autistic people can pass undetected as "normal", most of the time.
What's less established is that as autistic people pass middle-age, they mask less. This doesn't seem to be the loss of an ability so much as a choice, or perhaps simply the result of tiredness. Masking is, after all a very exhausting activity.
While masking is very common in young autistics and through school and work years, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence and some emerging research which supports the idea that that autistic people mask less as they age past midlife.
A blog post on Attwood and Garnett Events entitled, Ageing and Autism cites a study by Wake, Endlich and Lagos (2021) which included 150 research participants with an age range from 50 to 80 years. The study found that suppressing autistic characteristics and creating a social mask, while common in adolescence, gradually reduced in midlife.
There could be several reasons for this including;
- Autistic Burnout
- Reduced Social Obligations
- Awareness of Diagnosis
There is also the largely unexplored factor of Menopause.
Autistic Burnout
Our world is designed around neurotypical "normal" people and many of the issues that autistic people face come from their inability to meet the challenges of a neurotypical world that doesn't doesn't accommodate their needs.
This means that autistic people have to work harder to understand the nuances of neurotypical conversation, they have to deal with an array of sensory issues and they have to mask themselves to avoid detection and harassment. It doesn't help that autistic individuals usually already suffer from anxiety and other disorders.
Autistic burnout occurs when the combination of stressors, the limited support and unaccommodating environments, lead to chronic exhaustion, increased sensitivity, reductions in social and cognitive function and eventually a withdrawal from social situations.
At this point, the effort required to maintain an effective mask becomes too great.
Reduced Social obligations
As a general rule, our social obligations reduce as we get older. This means that we are often the less critical demographic at work events and that our family responsibilities tend to focus more inward, on our children (or elderly parents). At mid-life, we tend to stick to regular family and trusted long-term friends rather than seeking out new friends and new experiences.
Naturally, the smaller and the more long-term, our social groups are, the more likely it is that the members of these groups will already accept you "as you are", with all your eccentricities and nuances.
There is no reason to mask among close friends and family.
Diagnosis Awareness
In recent years, the way in which people, particularly adults, are diagnosed with autism has changed significantly. Once autism was almost exclusively diagnosed in children but now it is quite common for older adults to receive a "late diagnosis".
There is also a completely separate class of people who have self-diagnosed. While many people disagree with self-diagnosis, the quality and accuracy of many of the online tests for autism these days is very high. Rightly or wrongly, more people are identifying as autistic and are taking appropriate steps to improve their lives as a result of their awareness of their differences.
One of the key characteristics of late diagnosis is that the adults who are diagnosed have often lived for decades without understanding why they didn't seem to fit in with social situations, and why they had to work so hard to be accepted.
It is hard to describe the sheer joy that comes from the awareness of our autistic selves.
A late diagnosis brings the opportunity to understand key moments and decisions in your life through the lens of your true and unmasked self - and an understanding of how harmful masking has become in your life.
It's little wonder that so many autistic people in their 40s to 60s choose to unmask and live more authentic lives and be accepted for who they are.
The effects of Menopause
There is very little formal research on menopause and autism, for a few reasons. Most studies deal with children rather than adults, and boys rather than girls. In earlier times, menopausal women were generally settled into families or institutions or other facilities where autism was unlikely to be explored in the context of menopause.
It's difficult to describe the effects that menopause has on women generally, as it seems to vary considerably from one individual to another. There are, however, some common issues that directly impact autism. These include hormonal fluctuations, a general loss of "energy," increased sensitivity, executive function difficulties, and issues with emotional regulation.
Some of these issues—particularly the hormonal fluctuations and the loss of energy—will certainly impact an individual's ability or desire to mask.
Other menopausal changes, however, present a very different effect: they essentially "worsen the symptoms of autism."
For example, autistic people already have a lot of sensory issues, particularly when dealing with sights, sounds, touch, and smells. Menopause can take these sensory issues to another level entirely. Common physical symptoms of menopause like hot flashes, night sweats, and increased skin sensitivity can make a person’s baseline sensory issues much more intense.
Clothing that was once merely "itchy" or "uncomfortable" could become unbearable. Sounds and smells that were distracting could escalate to become overwhelming.
The hormonal shifts also directly impact the brain's ability to cope, creating significant difficulties in executive function. A brain that is already working hard to manage social situations, sensory input, and emotional regulation can be pushed to its limit by the unpredictable nature of menopause.
This can lead to a state of autistic burnout, where the energy required to maintain the mask is simply no longer there.
Menopause can become a turning point where a woman who has successfully masked her entire life finds her coping strategies are no longer effective. This is often the point where she and those around her can no longer ignore her autistic traits.
Conclusions
Masking is a key ability required by autistic people to gain a foothold in neurotypical society. It is critical in school years and into the early working years. In those early years, masking keeps autistic people happy and safe.
Masking is difficult and stressful work however and it's not a psycholically safe position to remain masked all the time. Masking makes autistic people tired and irritable and it supresses their true nature.
As we get older and become more self-aware, we need to shed our mask to allow ourselves to develop our full potential.
Fortunately, ageing changes a lot about the way we live and makes it easier to unmask. Aging provides an opportunity to live with greater self-acceptance and a reduced need to perform for others.
It's important to recognize that biological and environmental changes associated with ageing can seriously impact our ability to mask. There needs to be a lot more study on autism and ageing and in particular, on the effects of menopause on autism. It's far better to drop our masks ourselves in our own time than be unmasked by menopause or other conditions outside of our control.
We definitely mask less as we get older but that's a good thing.
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