Life with Aspergers

Over the years, I've been asked this question many, many times. It is a really tricky question because you never quite know how someone is going to take the news.  The problem occurs when a neurotypical person has a partner who displays many of the signs of Asperger's syndrome but doesn't know that they have it. In this case, the relationship can quickly become very strained. A person with Asperger's syndrome needs to know that their responses are different to a person without Asperger's syndrome.  They need to know that their emotional needs are quite different from those of their partner, more different for example, than simply the differences between men and women. Unfortunately telling someone that they have a "mental condition" never goes down very well. Should you tell them? If you feel that your partner would be open-minded and willing to work on adjusting to your needs - and if you're willing to adjust to theirs, then it's worthwh...

So, you've got a twenty-something year old with Asperger's syndrome and they're more or less, living on the couch, or on the computer or games console. Over my last couple of posts, I've covered some of the reasons why adults with Asperger's syndrome choose to stay at home rather than enter the workforce. I've also covered some of the skills which need to be taught and practised before they're ready for work. In this post, I want to cover the act of "taking flight"... but first, I just want to go over a couple of points; Education & Work Together can become “Overload” If your young adult (YA) is engaged in tertiary study, for example at a University or College, you probably can't expect them to hold down a job as well. Remember that people with Asperger's usually need time away from others, particularly after a very "social" day. It's not impossible but I'd advise against it, especially in the first year....

Last time, I looked at adults with Asperger’s syndrome who had trouble leaving the house, and who were more often than not, video-game addicted.  In particular, I looked at the possible reasons that they could have for such behaviour. The aim of this series of posts is not to force people with Asperger’s syndrome into jobs but to enable them to live a more rewarding and fulfilling life. At best, this means becoming financially independent but in some cases, simply feeling “brave enough” to leave the house on their own is a big accomplishment. Taking a step back from my last post,  this time I want to look at some of the ways we can prepare our kids for adulthood in modern society. Horror Stories of Our Generation Every generation wants to ensure that their children grow up with less hardship than they did. When I was a child, my parents took great delight in telling me about the things they had to do as children. I was horrified to learn that things that I took for...

It's becoming an increasingly common story, a capable 20+ year old with Asperger's syndrome, living at home with their parents, unwilling to leave the comfort of the house - or their gaming console. There's a lot to discuss in this scenario but I want to break it down into three posts. Reasons for the Behaviour Preventing the Behaviour  Changing the Behaviour In this post, I want to touch on whether or not there are valid excuses for this behaviour. Excuse or No Excuse? For the most part, there aren't too many good excuses for this kind of behaviour in a young adult with reasonable communication skills.  Asperger's syndrome itself is not an excuse. That said, there are actually, some good excuses for this kind of behaviour; Lower Functioning Individuals;  I specifically mentioned “capable” earlier as a means of “filtering out” individuals who have difficulties which are significant enough to make them a danger to themselves or others, or who...

Edward Adrift The Sequel to 600 Hours of Edward by Craig Lancaster A Review. It's been almost seven years since I reviewed 600 Hours of Edward on this blog. It was one of the first books I reviewed here. At the time, I said that I finished it and wanted more. Edward is a very likeable character and I always felt that a sequel was needed. Imagine my surprise when out of the blue, Amazon's "recommended reading for you" page offered a sequel - and at a very reasonable price too. I really wanted to go back and re-read the first book but unfortunately I simply don't have the time these days. I guess that means that you can pick up this book without having read the first one. A Well-Rounded and Accomplished Sequel Edward Adrift feels like a much accomplished book than its predecessor. It seems longer and more complete. It really feels like two stories but they're so expertly entwined that one naturally leads into the other. Edward Adrift is a g...

Developing Leisure Time Skills for People with Autism Spectrum  Disorders: Practical Strategies for Home, School and Community. (Revised and Expanded Second Edition) (Revised and Expanded Second By Phyllis Coyne, Mary Lou Klagge and Colleen Nyberg. It's fairly common for very young children to be quite “clingy” and to be more or less incapable of dealing with spare time. What you might not realise is that many older children and young adults experience difficulty with the concept of free time. Even older adults, who are verbally challenged and are on the autism spectrum experience these issues. The problem is that since these people can't manage their free time without assistance, they will often "get into trouble" if left alone for more than five minutes. As a result, the parents and caregivers of these people are often unable to take even short breaks for self hygiene without risk unless they arrange for substitute care. The aim of this book is to help p...

I've been reading and writing blogs on Asperger's syndrome since 2007. Over the years many of the blogs I was following have closed down and disappeared. Others have experienced a decline in posts until finally they fall silent.  Of course, I still have my feelers (RSS feed reader) out there and every now and then one of those blogs reactivates, though usually only for a lone post or two. The Post This happened earlier this week. The blog in question is from a neurotypical ( normal ) lady married to a man with Asperger's. The blog is mostly one-sided and often contains an angry rant. The relationship doesn't seem to be a happy one and clearly the author is not getting the respect that she needs from the relationship. To her credit, she has such high morals and is so devoted to her religion, that she won't leave, she simply struggles and endures (and complains). Her recent post was about how, as soon as they stopped marriage counselling, things went rig...