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Taking things Literally

The literature often talks about Aspergers people taking things literally.

The most common example of this being a child who is told to "pull their socks up" actually bending down to do so.

Now, before I go into the whys and wherefores, I'd just like to ask my "normal readers" to stop and think about this line for a minute. What exactly is it telling you to do? What would someone with less familiarity with the English language think?

I'm forever explaining things to my kids as "the English language is really quite silly" and "they shouldn't really do things like this but..." because a lot of the problems stem from the language itself. I'm not sure why normal people pick these things up faster than Aspergers people but I think it's to do with usage. Asperger's kids often have at least one asperger parent and while they've long since learned what these words mean, they don't use them in everyday speech, hence their children don't get used to them.

I certainly choose my words very carefully to increase my chances of being understood.

Fast Learning
I think that Aspergers children quickly learn not to take things so literally but that they do it by assuming that everyone is "kidding". Certainly it's true to say that everything has more than one meaning to an aspergers person and that they tend to quickly evaluate the various options in mid-conversation before choosing the most appropriate answer.

This can also lead to minor delays in conversation, depending upon how fast they evaluate things.

I guess this means that while a normal person probably always takes expressions like "pull your socks up" or "pull your finger out" to mean improve, and hurry up respectively, an aspergers person will always choose from four different definitions.

Literal Jokes
I'm trying not to get into the "not getting jokes bit" - I'll save that for another post, but I do want to cover how Aspergers people use their take on language for joke purposes.

Exhibit A
Last night, we had strawberries and cream for dessert. When I was cleaning up after the meal, my wife pointed to the strawberries saying that since they are greens they should go in the green bin. "oh.. but they're red", I said, with a wry grin. My wife proceeded to give me a reason why they are considered green, then realized that I was joking. I talked to her later and she said that a non-aspergers person wouldn't even consider the colour.

Exhibit B
Also last night... The trial period for scouts is almost over and I asked my son if he was ready to become a Joey. He said yes but that he wouldn't become a real joey. [for the non-Australian - A joey is like a small kangaroo]. He and I thought it was funny, but my wife didn't follow the joke and he had to repeat it before she understood. Once again, non-aspergers people tend to hold only one definition for a given context.

Final Thoughts on Taking Things Literally
Aspergers kids can learn to not take things literally but they don't seem able to let go of one meaning - they need to store both. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it can cause delays in conversations and may also impact their ability to be understood.

How can you help?
Expose your children to as many "silly english phrases" as possible. Learning them early can save embarrassment later.

In particular, for me, the most embarrassing one was when I was told to bring a plate to a function.

(for my Aspergers readers: bring a plate actually means bring a plate with food on it for sharing - not just bring the plate).

Comments

Anonymous said…
Damn, I was lucky you posted the AS-Answer... :P
Anonymous said…
wow, yes, me too! lol i understand now the concept of needing/wanting to store as many meanings to a word, instead of, as u said, letting go of old ones.
Anonymous said…
I was really amused by my daughter's reaction to the christmas presents having to be under the tree. We all had rather flattened christmas pressies one year.
NKOTB4Eternity said…
I don't have AS but I found this interesting. BTW, I've never heard of the phrases "pull your socks up" or "pull your finger out".
Nikki said…
Oh, cripes, I actually DID the "literally bringing an empty plate" thing once...-facepalm- And I was sixteen, too. The people around me just good-naturedly laughed it off, but I felt really embarrassed.
Grumpy Old Man said…
"Epaminondas and His Auntie" is in the same vein: http://www.rickwalton.com/folktale/bryant18.htm

I suppose you can teach little kids the names of figures of speech--synecdoche, metonymy, and so on.
Anonymous said…
Man. I can't believe it! I think I may have found part of the answer to the man I have been wanting to marry it seems forever. I think he did the the things he did and reacted the way he did and said what he said at times cuz he may simply have Aspergers. What a relief. If he would have just told me long ago, we could have had more open fun times and dates. I had NO idea. Man I him soooo much and he was I guess afraid to tell me or something. If I only knew. Wasted time. I have found my soulmate. I get it now. I understand. Now I need to figure out a way to let him know I know and please be with me.
Anonymous said…
hi my question is we have found that my grandson has adhd dysgraphia cognative learning disabilities and is 3 points from genious iq. this has been a learning experence for me and our family. we were asked by the teachers why he writes on the back of his notebook paper sometimes. when i asked him he said that the teacher assigns a student to hand out the sheet of paper for the assignment to be written on. he said he feels like if the assigned student was assigned to do this then if the student set the sheet of paper upside down then he should write on it that way. although in my mind it seems so easy to have just turned the page over to him his answer was as clear to him as mine was to me. is this from asperger or adhd and dysgraphia please write back as soon as possible. when i explained the answer to the teachers they just made a slight grin and silence as if to say no we want another answer. i would appreciate your input. thank you grandee
OceanD said…
Thank you so much! My son has Aspergers and I do not. It was not until after I discovered he had it that I realized that his dad has it too...I just thought he was quirky and different in earlier years lol

My son takes things so literal. His dad HATES stand up comedy or joking of any kind of which I love. But for an Asperger its probably all balderdash. I thought he was just grumpy.

My son however, gets comedy and jokes better than his dad because he spends so much time with me. I have to explain it to him but after do that he gets it and enjoys it!

I use to get angry that I had to break everything down... but I will never again get angry. Its how he needs to learn. He is very sharp, he just sees things from a prospective I don't sometimes which can be funny...and in turn I see things from a different prospective than he does.

You have greatly helped a mommy of 8 yr old today...thank you
Unknown said…
I was wondering if traits of aspergers run in the family? My brothers and Dad all like to tweek things. For example, seeing a grill at the store and upgrading the design into a grill with two levels and made it longer and a smoker.
Also, English was brutal because I din't understand any of the logic behind doing the grammar rules. Although diagnosed with ADHD I think it might be more aspergers.
Anonymous said…
There is a really great book by author/iilustrator Serge Bloch, which covers the topic of our weird sayings. I have included a brief synopsis below (from GoodReads).

Butterflies in My Stomach and Other School Hazards by Serge Bloch
You can bet your bottom dollar this funny story is the cream of the crop—and the best thing since sliced bread! Award-winning artist Serge Bloch will have kids laughing their heads off at this child’s-eye look at idiomatic expressions like �ants in your pants,” �homework is for the birds,” and �cat got your tongue?” These commonly used sayings make sense in the adult world...more You can bet your bottom dollar this funny story is the cream of the crop—and the best thing since sliced bread! Award-winning artist Serge Bloch will have kids laughing their heads off at this child’s-eye look at idiomatic expressions like �ants in your pants,” �homework is for the birds,” and �cat got your tongue?” These commonly used sayings make sense in the adult world, but just imagine what a child pictures when she hears it’s �raining cats and dogs!” With witty and wonderful images that mix whimsical line drawings with photographs of inanimate objects, Bloch gives us a unique and sympathetic perspective on a boy’s first day of school where colorful butterflies flutter in our hero’s stomach and a cloud rains on him when he’s �under the weather.” Even the �big cheese” Principal has a body cut out of a block of Swiss.
Anonymous said…
Giving the simple phrase, " close your hand around the stick" to an asperger mean, close your hand and rotate around the stick and a non asperger would just grab the stick? I joke about taking things literally and i think my daughter might be like me......poor girl. Comments? Ideas?
Anonymous said…
Today my husband told me the plan on the wall of the hospital was the wrong side up. Since the entrance was shown on the underside it looked allright to me and I did not understand him. Until he told me that it should have been on the opposite wall, then laying it down would have shown the truth.

From this example you can clearly see I'm a NT ;)
Anonymous said…
!st day of fifth grade the nun was telling us of all the grand places she would take us around the world that year. To Spain, to Italy, London, the Far East. I took it literally, not realizing she meant in the book. I remember thinking, all this sounds barely doable in one year, but she said it. Halfway through the year I'm still getting mad that time is running out and we haven't gone to a single place yet. And why is no one calling her out on this blatant lie.

Only several years later did it dawn on me that the nun must not have meant we were physically going to these places.
Anonymous said…
I've just recently been diagnosed as an adult. I've been told that I take some that I take some things too literally. Mostly in friendly relationships, and when a person says they'll return at such and such a time. But I think other people should be aware of what commitments they are making, instead of generally speaking like that.
Anonymous said…
It would have been helpful to this non-Australian reader at least if you explained why strawberries are green, and instead of explaining that a joey is a kangaroo (we do have zoos, you know) explained what the *other* meaning of joey is.
Unknown said…
Hahahaha... I love you... Every phrase you used as an example, you managed to define for me... Lmao... And I was thinking "Why would it be bad to bend down if you are pulling up your socks" and imagining myself with an empty plate until you told your "Aspie Readers" that it means bring a cooked dish. Lol.. Thank you.. I needed a good laugh. Those phrases are humorous.
Anonymous said…
I take issue with your last paragraph ("Expose your children to as many "silly english phrases" as possible. Learning them early can save embarrassment later."): What if I am an adult on the autism spectrum that did not learn those things early? How can adults like me who were diagnosed in adulthood - and therefore spent most of their and my life not understanding those things - be helped now and not 5 or 10 or 20 years later?
Anonymous said…
I take issue with your very last paragraph ("Expose your children to as many "silly english phrases" as possible. Learning them early can save embarrassment later."): What if I am an adult on the autism spectrum and was not taught those things early? How can adults like me who were diagnosed in adulthood - and therefore lived most of their or my life not understanding those things - be helped now and not 5 or 10 or 20 years later?
Cara said…
Me niether, but "shake a leg" got me in big trouble once.
Cara said…
Oh crap. I've made that mistake so many times, but didnt know it was my mistake until right now. Fifty six years old, life in perspective.

I love how Google finds me stuff that's old but feels immediate.
Cara said…
"Fake it 'til you make it."
Visit the public library, children's section:joke books and funny sayings. "What do you do if a mummy rolls his eyes at you? Roll 'em back!"
Anonymous said…
This article was offensive and insensitive to people who are diagnosed with Aspergers.
#1) They are "Normal" people.

#2) People who are diagnosed as Aspergers are brilliant. They usually have a higher than average IQ. Great at solving problems and may have a slight unique approach to how they view and interpret things. Which can be refreshing and educational especially for people who think they know it all or who think they are always right.

#3) Since the author of this article gets to accept and approve which comment or review is shown on this site is why it appears that everyone who read their article in in agreement with them. I am sure there are way more people who found his interpretation to be inappropriate.

#5) The expression "Pull your sock up" is NOT a common expression used that many will know is a figure of speech. Perhaps that is a slang used in Australia but it is not commonly used throughout the world at all. So yes I can see numerous people who you consider "NORMAL" to look down at their socks to see what you are referring to. Because many will see it as an odd thing to say joking or slang.

6) People living with Aspergers are unique, brilliant, gifted, creative, and excellent problem solver. They are also patient and slow to get angry and process things and they speak with intent. They don't just blab out useless words. They are also loyal and make excellent partners and friends. Once someone take the time to see and appreciate their uniqueness they will se they are "Normal" and are great people. The world can learn a lot from them. The world will be a better place. Even you, the writer of this article would learn to value people and judge them based on their strengths oppose to being overly critical as though you are "perfect". What's your excuse? What is your diagnosis?



Gavin Bollard said…
Anonymous. You raise some good points. Allow me to elaborate and answer them.

First of all, you're responding to an article that is over 12 years old. The political language of autism has changed considerably since then and if I were writing this article today, I'd never use the word "normal"

The moderaion of comments on this blog is the only thing that prevents it from being overrun with trolls, spam and other nasties. It's in place for everyone's protection, not to prevent alternative opinion. I often allow very different opinions through, including some which are quite hateful because I feel that the world needs to be reminded that there are people out there who are hostile to us.

I use the word US because I too have autism, as do both of my children. I write from the heart and from my own experience.

You make a few sweeping generalisations in your comment including alluding to a higher IQ. Unfortunately this isn't backed up by clinical evidence or by my own experience. Those comments of yours would be considered hurtful and offensive by others but I respect that they are your experience. It's impossible to be yourself when writing and not offend people.

Everyone with autism is different and some of my posts will be very relevant to you while others will miss the mark completely. Some of my posts are aimed at individuals on the spectrum and some use simpler, more direct language to address the carers of those with autism.

If one of my posts is irrelevant, please scroll on by because another will be more suitable. If you feel like commenting on your experience and how it differs, please do. I love hearing other people's perspectives. It's all good.

No offense is intended. This is a safe space for everyone.
Earl said…
I remember when I was young and my cat did something that angered my mom.. she told me that I needed to kill my cat. Luckily, I couldn't follow through with it.. I came crying back to her "I can't do it.. I can't kill him!!". She was stunned.

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