My memory is different, there's no doubt about it. On the one hand, it seems amazing. I can remember "whole conversations" which took place years ago, I can quote from literally thousands of films but ask me what someone's name is or ask me to get some things from the shops and I'll draw a blank.
In fact, face to face conversations with me at work quite often involve me subconsciously using my hands to do gestures of long hair, or glasses simply because I've forgotten the name of the person I'm trying to describe.
It's also a common sight at our local shops to see me standing around counting my fingers. I know that I've got to get five things at the shop but I can only remember three of them.
Repetition
I think that a lot of my memory is based on repetition. That's no revelation really, rote learning has been around for years and despite the claims that rote learning provides only lists, not concepts, it's still recognised as one of the most effective learning tools.
Autistic Rote Learning in Action
As a person on the spectrum, I know that the true meaning of conversations eludes me most of the time. I often use the time after I've exited a conversation to analyse its meaning. I'll go over the words several times looking for inflections, trying to remember facial expressions and hand movements. It's all in there (my head) somewhere but during conversation it all goes too fast for me to pick up on it.
Sadly those moments after the other participants in the conversation have left are full of "ah-ha" and "oops" moments when I suddenly realise what's really been said. When I'm tired, I retire to my office rather than face a room full of people with diverse and complex social behaviours.
In fact, as I write this, it's only been about an hour since I said (half-seriously) "It's getting a bit too social in here for me" and exited the lunch room.
Back to the point ... Going over the same conversation several times, particularly in the same order, is rote learning. In analysing it, I'm subconsciously committing it to memory. It's not the whole conversation, but I'll later revisit it and think that it was.
When I repeat the bits I remember, most people who were also present will think that I've captured the conversation in its entirety. In reality, I've done my own internal editing and I'm only remembering the bits that I think are important.
Not all conversations have a hidden meaning. For example the meaning of; "Hello Gavin, this is John, he'll be working in Finance so can you give him a login" is clear. I don't go over those types of conversation multiple times and as a result, I don't learn John's name.
That's a shame really, poor John.
Special Interests
Then there's the rote learning of movie quotes. I love movies and I'll often watch the same film over and over again. I'll often repeat things that the characters say, because they're funny, they're cool or sometimes those words or accents feel good on my tongue.
Sometimes I'm even analysing scenes for more information. Either way, it's rote learning again.
Being Overly Cautious
When I'm configuring computers, I'm so particular about getting the product keys and WEP keys right that I read them back and forth on my computer and in the documentation - even if I'm 99% certain, I'll still re-check. The repetition makes it rote learning again.
It's a pity I can't find a good way to rote learn people's names.
Comments
I tend to forget my friend's nicknames quite easily and stuff, yet, I remember certain conversations and stuff from years ago!
My daughter has the same gift for rote memory, and she really enjoys movie quotes as well. Sometimes her impersonation of a character as she does a quote is so perfect it's a little unsettling. She has a gift for picking up on their accents, tone of voice, and little mannerisms.
That said, I have the same trouble as you with mental shopping lists. :-)
In response to, "Laura this is, John."
I say, "John, nice to meet you." For me it's about the auditory repetition part. I'll remember it if I've heard more than once. It's not 100% but it works WAY better than not saying it back.
HTH!
Great post BTW!
I'm noticing this phenomenon in other areas as well. For instance, I've always thought I've had a very poor sense of direction, but I was walking in the woods the other day and knew exactly where I was the whole time, even though I took byways I don't usually take. The reason I maintained such good spatial orientation is that I was alone: I wasn't talking or trying to process speech, which is such hard work that I can't begin to pay attention to orienting myself in a new place. I think the same is true with memory. It's not that my memory is poor. It's that I can't draw on it very well when I'm busy with more urgent processing tasks.
Names? I am terrible with names!
Love reading your posts. I have an Asperger's blog, too.
Its...www.asperderdiaries.blogspot.com
While my 14yo ticks the boxes with all the memory things you mentioned like movie quotes, he often needs time to 'digest" what people are saying before he feels confident to respond. And this reflection may take anything from a few moments to several days...which can make dialogue with a NT rather precarious at times!Anyway all this to say its helpful to know he's not alone in this.
I've always been able to remember things like movie quotes, scenes, book passages and other things that relate to my special interests, but when it comes to people's names and other important information, I have a memory like a sieve!
Great blog, by the way. Learnt a few new things about Aspergers that I didn't know before. Thanks!