Skip to main content

Article: Resisting the Urge to Rewrite Your Child's Future

Today I'm blogging over at Special-ism;

Resisting the Urge to Rewrite Your Child's Future
http://special-ism.com/resisting-the-urge-to-rewrite-your-childs-future/

It's about parenting and how we sometimes take our children's diagnosis as a list of limitations when it should really be a list of difficulties for which we need to seek assistance.

Have a read.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thanks, this does 'hit home' a bit for me. I would love to keep hearing about people with aspergers living happy lives, not necessarily the 'world changers' just ordinary people doing the day to day things with success, and some failures as we all do. I think that will help as my kids grow into adulthood knowing 'who as gone before them'.
Anonymous said…
Wonderfully put. My son is an Aspie who's always had difficulty with sports. He had poor eye-hand coordination and muscle tone, and was always slumping over or leaning on supports. I got him started on swimming lessons when he was 5 years' old.

We come from a country where a 2-year stint in the army at the age of 18 years is compulsory. No exceptions are made for persons with Asperger's. When my son was 13 years old, I started worrying about it and got him to do pushups everyday. He really struggled. Then we discovered rowing. I figured that since rowing involved repetitive movements, it might be something that he could do. We got him signed up at school for rowing as an extra-curricular activity. It did wonders for him. He trained really hard and was part of the team representing the school at regional and state regattas. He learnt social skills and the importance of team-work. His confidence has grown in leaps and bounds and he is now a tall, strapping young man (tomorrow will be his 15th birthday).

The idea is not to place limits on our children, but to help them work with what they have in order to adapt to life amongst neurotypicals, and to be the best that they can be.
Anonymous said…
Hello Gavin!
this is about the third time I write to you, but everyday I catch something in your blog. I just started my own blog about my experiences as a neurotypical mother with an 8 year Aspie kid. So far so good, and I really would like to include some of your posts. I am in Mexico City, and would like to share all your experiences with people who doesn't are familiar with English, I would like to translate it to Spanish. I have read many times that we can share or reblogg your posts, but still, I wanted to tell you first and make you notice that your words will reach Latin people too!!!
My blog is sobreviviendoalaspergers.tumblr.com
Thanks!!
Yunuen
Gavin Bollard said…
@Yunuen,

I can't speak Spanish, so I'm thrilled that my words will reach a Latin audience.

Thank you.

Popular posts from this blog

What is Stimming and what does it feel like?

According to wikipedia , stimming is; "a jargon term for a particular form of stereotypy, a repetitive body movement (often done unconsciously) that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner. It is shorthand for self-stimulation, and a stereotypy is referred to as stimming under the hypothesis that it has a function related to sensory input." The wikipedia article then goes on to propose some theories about the function of stimming and how it is designed to provide nervous system arousal. The theory being that it helps autistic people "normalize". I'm not sure how much I believe that theory - I helps us relax and it feels good... but normalize?? Not sure. The most commonly cited form of stimming is body rocking. Such is the prevalence of this form of stimming in Hollywood films concerning autism that you could be forgiven for thinking that autistic people stim by rocking most of the time. How far does stimming go? Stimming is much more than just...

Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2)

In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. They can over analyze situations and responses in an effort to capture lost nonverbal communication. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. Everything made up by aspies will tend to be tainted with their own self image. This is one of reasons that people with Asperger's will sometimes decide that they are not good enough for their partner and that they must let them go. Sometimes, the aspie will develop a notion of chivalry or self-sacrific...

Are Aspies Capable of Love?

Although the answer to this question may seem simple, it recurs with alarming regularity on aspie forums everywhere. Often, it is confused with the aspie's ability to find a partner or the famous aspie empathy problems - these are different things altogether which I'll hopefully discuss in follow-up posts. Emotional Behavior in Aspies Aspies are very capable of loving but they often confuse the issue by adopting an altogether too rigid view of love. Despite popular mis-belief, aspies are generally fairly emotional beings. We have intense feelings of happiness and even more intense feelings of sadness. The smallest triggers can produce huge emotional responses in us. While a bad day at work may make an NT grumpy, it could make an aspie feel suicidal. Similarly, when something good happens an aspie may seem to be over-reacting or overly happy. Most aspie adults have long since learned to control excessive displays of happiness but it's very apparent in aspie children...