Skip to main content

Article: Resisting the Urge to Rewrite Your Child's Future

Today I'm blogging over at Special-ism;

Resisting the Urge to Rewrite Your Child's Future
http://special-ism.com/resisting-the-urge-to-rewrite-your-childs-future/

It's about parenting and how we sometimes take our children's diagnosis as a list of limitations when it should really be a list of difficulties for which we need to seek assistance.

Have a read.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thanks, this does 'hit home' a bit for me. I would love to keep hearing about people with aspergers living happy lives, not necessarily the 'world changers' just ordinary people doing the day to day things with success, and some failures as we all do. I think that will help as my kids grow into adulthood knowing 'who as gone before them'.
March 21, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Anonymous said…
Wonderfully put. My son is an Aspie who's always had difficulty with sports. He had poor eye-hand coordination and muscle tone, and was always slumping over or leaning on supports. I got him started on swimming lessons when he was 5 years' old.

We come from a country where a 2-year stint in the army at the age of 18 years is compulsory. No exceptions are made for persons with Asperger's. When my son was 13 years old, I started worrying about it and got him to do pushups everyday. He really struggled. Then we discovered rowing. I figured that since rowing involved repetitive movements, it might be something that he could do. We got him signed up at school for rowing as an extra-curricular activity. It did wonders for him. He trained really hard and was part of the team representing the school at regional and state regattas. He learnt social skills and the importance of team-work. His confidence has grown in leaps and bounds and he is now a tall, strapping young man (tomorrow will be his 15th birthday).

The idea is not to place limits on our children, but to help them work with what they have in order to adapt to life amongst neurotypicals, and to be the best that they can be.
March 21, 2012 at 8:05 PM
Anonymous said…
Hello Gavin!
this is about the third time I write to you, but everyday I catch something in your blog. I just started my own blog about my experiences as a neurotypical mother with an 8 year Aspie kid. So far so good, and I really would like to include some of your posts. I am in Mexico City, and would like to share all your experiences with people who doesn't are familiar with English, I would like to translate it to Spanish. I have read many times that we can share or reblogg your posts, but still, I wanted to tell you first and make you notice that your words will reach Latin people too!!!
My blog is sobreviviendoalaspergers.tumblr.com
Thanks!!
Yunuen
March 23, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Gavin Bollard said…
@Yunuen,

I can't speak Spanish, so I'm thrilled that my words will reach a Latin audience.

Thank you.
March 23, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why do Aspies Suddenly Back Off in Relationships (Part 2)

In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. They can over analyze situations and responses in an effort to capture lost nonverbal communication. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. Everything made up by aspies will tend to be tainted with their own self image. This is one of reasons that people with Asperger's will sometimes decide that they are not good enough for their partner and that they must let them go. Sometimes, the aspie will develop a notion of chivalry or self-sacrific...
134 comments
Read more

Aspie Myths - "He Won't Miss Me"

I apologise for the excessive "male-orientated" viewpoint in this post. I tried to keep it neutral but somehow, it just works better when explained from a male viewpoint. Here's a phrase that I've seen repeated throughout the comments on this blog on several occasions; "I know that he won't miss me when I'm gone because he's aspie" Today, we're going to (try to) bust that myth; Individuals I'll start off with a reminder that everyone is an individual. If all aspies were completely alike and predictible, they'd be a stereotype but they're not. Each is shaped by their background, their upbringing, their beliefs and their local customs. An aspie who grew up with loud abusive parents has a reasonable chance of becoming loud and abusive themselves because in some cases, that's all they know. That's how they think adults are supposed to behave. In other cases, aspies who grew up in those circumstances do a complete about-fa...
150 comments
Read more

Why Do Aspies Suddenly Back-Off in Relationships? (Part 1)

One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is why an aspie (or suspected aspie) suddenly goes "cold" and backs off on an otherwise good relationship. It's a difficult question and the answers would vary considerably from one person to another and would depend greatly on the circumstances. Nevertheless, I'll try to point out some possibilities. Negative Reasons I generally like to stay positive on this blog and assume that people are not necessarily "evil" but simply misguided. Unfortunately, I do have to acknowledge that there are some people out there who take advantage of others. I read a book a few years ago on "sociopaths in the workplace" and I was stunned by the figures. They suggested that sociopaths were so common that most workplaces (small business) had at least one or two. The fact is that there are lots of people out there who really feel very little for others and who are very manipulative. I'd like to say that aspies aren...
64 comments
Read more