Throughout my life, I've had people reacting to me in a fairly protective manner.
If I was a different type of person, I'd probably find it quite patronising but in my case, I don't mind it and I even find it helpful at times. I know a lot of people on the spectrum who react quite differently, greeting this type of treatment with anger.
Getting frustrated with this treatment is more or less the same as being a feminist and being frustrated with men who open doors for you. You may find it offensive but the people who are doing these things for you generally mean positive things.
Recently it's begun to dawn on me that this isn't deafness, it's not even knowledge of my place on the autism spectrum.
It's simply the āvibesā that I put out. The social ineptitude, my poor co-ordination and my introverted body language.
In my case, I came to the conclusion that people were adjusting differently for me during āboxingā..
I've been doing kickboxing once or twice per week for the past four months. Prior to that I did three years of karate so I'm no stranger to contact sports. In also quite a tall person and at forty seven it's safe to say that I don't look like a kid anymore.
Last week I was boxing with someone who was obviously pretty good and someone else who was clearly a beginner. None of us had spoken to each other prior to the boxing so the only clues that we had about each other were from observation.
I noticed that the inexperienced boxer was often missing his cues or hitting with less than perfect form. Mine was better but of course, the experienced boxer was extremely good. What was interesting though was the that the experienced boxer started to help me out, giving me cues, tips and nods while he ignored our very inexperienced companion.
Iāve also noticed, over the weeks that Iāve been doing boxing, the instructor has been much more encouraging and interacting with me than with my peers. Iāve noticed this in other classes at the gym and in other areas of life itself.
Thereās something in my body language that says that I'm naive or perhaps ādifferentā. I donāt know what it is but I know for sure that itās there.
If I was a different type of person, I'd probably find it quite patronising but in my case, I don't mind it and I even find it helpful at times. I know a lot of people on the spectrum who react quite differently, greeting this type of treatment with anger.
Getting frustrated with this treatment is more or less the same as being a feminist and being frustrated with men who open doors for you. You may find it offensive but the people who are doing these things for you generally mean positive things.
How are we detectable?
When I was younger, I used to assume that people knew about my hearing loss and were simply helping out. I remember having to say to my teachers at school, āI'm deaf, I'm not dumbā.Recently it's begun to dawn on me that this isn't deafness, it's not even knowledge of my place on the autism spectrum.
It's simply the āvibesā that I put out. The social ineptitude, my poor co-ordination and my introverted body language.
Detectable body language
As Iām always repeating, āeveryone on the autism spectrum is an individualā. Things which are particular for me may manifest quite differently for others - if at all.In my case, I came to the conclusion that people were adjusting differently for me during āboxingā..
I've been doing kickboxing once or twice per week for the past four months. Prior to that I did three years of karate so I'm no stranger to contact sports. In also quite a tall person and at forty seven it's safe to say that I don't look like a kid anymore.
Last week I was boxing with someone who was obviously pretty good and someone else who was clearly a beginner. None of us had spoken to each other prior to the boxing so the only clues that we had about each other were from observation.
I noticed that the inexperienced boxer was often missing his cues or hitting with less than perfect form. Mine was better but of course, the experienced boxer was extremely good. What was interesting though was the that the experienced boxer started to help me out, giving me cues, tips and nods while he ignored our very inexperienced companion.
Iāve also noticed, over the weeks that Iāve been doing boxing, the instructor has been much more encouraging and interacting with me than with my peers. Iāve noticed this in other classes at the gym and in other areas of life itself.
Thereās something in my body language that says that I'm naive or perhaps ādifferentā. I donāt know what it is but I know for sure that itās there.
Comments
Wonderful boxing metaphor, btw.