According to wikipedia, stimming is;
"a jargon term for a particular form of stereotypy, a repetitive body movement (often done unconsciously) that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner. It is shorthand for self-stimulation, and a stereotypy is referred to as stimming under the hypothesis that it has a function related to sensory input."
The wikipedia article then goes on to propose some theories about the function of stimming and how it is designed to provide nervous system arousal. The theory being that it helps autistic people "normalize".
I'm not sure how much I believe that theory - I helps us relax and it feels good... but normalize?? Not sure.
The most commonly cited form of stimming is body rocking. Such is the prevalence of this form of stimming in Hollywood films concerning autism that you could be forgiven for thinking that autistic people stim by rocking most of the time.
How far does stimming go?
Stimming is much more than just rocking. It also includes;
I'm going to go out on a limb on this one and suggest that stimming should also include a few other behaviors. The wikipedia article has already suggested that in some cases, stimming includes deliberate self-harm, such as cutting oneself and head banging.
I believe that stimming also includes the following;
My eldest child is particularly bad with the vocal stimming. Especially first thing in the morning on a weekend when you're trying to get a little extra sleep.
How does it feel?
Stimming is often an involuntary thing and we aren't always aware that we're doing it. Personally, stimming by rocking is quite uncommon for me because this is socially unacceptable. I don't think I ever really needed this form of stimming much anyhow.
At its simplest, the stimming allows you to concentrate on sensitivity and relax the thinking parts of the brain. In an Aspie, being able to stop thinking, even for a short while, is bliss.
Stimming is a very good relaxant and this probably explains why it is more often seen in stressful situations.
Of course, it also feels good.
As a parent, should you try to stop stimming?
Not really... No. (well, sometimes).
I think it's fair to say that stopping stimming could lead to stress in a child and also that it could cause them to change to a less visible means of stimming, such as self-harm.
It's probably worthwhile videoing your child while stimming and letting them see what the undesirable behavior is. Perhaps you can get them to be more discreet. Remember though, that they won't always be aware that they're doing it at first.
If stimming behaviors are causing your children harm then you should discuss them with your paediatrician.
"a jargon term for a particular form of stereotypy, a repetitive body movement (often done unconsciously) that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner. It is shorthand for self-stimulation, and a stereotypy is referred to as stimming under the hypothesis that it has a function related to sensory input."
The wikipedia article then goes on to propose some theories about the function of stimming and how it is designed to provide nervous system arousal. The theory being that it helps autistic people "normalize".
I'm not sure how much I believe that theory - I helps us relax and it feels good... but normalize?? Not sure.
The most commonly cited form of stimming is body rocking. Such is the prevalence of this form of stimming in Hollywood films concerning autism that you could be forgiven for thinking that autistic people stim by rocking most of the time.
How far does stimming go?
Stimming is much more than just rocking. It also includes;
- Hand Clasping
- Flapping
- Knee bobbing
- Finger Tapping or Drumming
- Spinning Toys
I'm going to go out on a limb on this one and suggest that stimming should also include a few other behaviors. The wikipedia article has already suggested that in some cases, stimming includes deliberate self-harm, such as cutting oneself and head banging.
I believe that stimming also includes the following;
- Making funny noises
- Facial Tics and expressions
- Certain types of singing, talking or babbling
- Nail (and finger) Biting
My eldest child is particularly bad with the vocal stimming. Especially first thing in the morning on a weekend when you're trying to get a little extra sleep.
How does it feel?
Stimming is often an involuntary thing and we aren't always aware that we're doing it. Personally, stimming by rocking is quite uncommon for me because this is socially unacceptable. I don't think I ever really needed this form of stimming much anyhow.
At its simplest, the stimming allows you to concentrate on sensitivity and relax the thinking parts of the brain. In an Aspie, being able to stop thinking, even for a short while, is bliss.
Stimming is a very good relaxant and this probably explains why it is more often seen in stressful situations.
Of course, it also feels good.
As a parent, should you try to stop stimming?
Not really... No. (well, sometimes).
I think it's fair to say that stopping stimming could lead to stress in a child and also that it could cause them to change to a less visible means of stimming, such as self-harm.
It's probably worthwhile videoing your child while stimming and letting them see what the undesirable behavior is. Perhaps you can get them to be more discreet. Remember though, that they won't always be aware that they're doing it at first.
If stimming behaviors are causing your children harm then you should discuss them with your paediatrician.
Comments
I'm not sure how well that applies to other types of toys. I do remember being "hyped-up" for hours after playing Merlin and other hand-held stimmy toys in the early eighties, so that could be right.
I'll have a think about it and will probably post a follow up. Actually, I might ask around.
The hand motions themselves are probably not too bad and I'd be more worried about face freezing and walking in a circle etc.
His school friends may not notice the hand movements by themselves.
As far as stopping him from doing it, you can't - it will just increase anxiety and could cause him to stim in other (worse) ways.
Instead, I'd concentrate on reducing the parts of the hands routine that are most visible to other children.
mcmanis@aec2020.com
Blurting out movie and television quotes is a very common aspie stim. It is also pretty much socially acceptable.
The point you raise about aspie awareness levels during stimming is a good one. I guess the best comparison is to liken it to listening to music while doing ones homework. From a parents point of view, this doesn't seem very practical but for many people, it provides more of a benefit than a loss. Many children produce better quality home work while listening to music than when they are not. The same is true for aspies and stimming. They often produce better work or are more settled in their surroundings while stimming than when they are not.
This is not to say that there isn't a loss of awareness. Depending on the degree of mental processing required for a particular stim, there will be some impact on concentration. It could possibly affect driving skills but it is only really likely to have an effect when a situation out of the ordinary arises. During these situations, it is quite likely that the aspie will stop stimming.
One more point about driving; When they're old enough, I intend for my children to attend safe/evasive driving courses as well as the usual driving lessons. This is because when I was young and had my first car accident, I did more damage as a result of my panic than the crash would have done had I completely let go of the wheel. The shock of the car going into a uncontrolled skid took too long for me to process because I had not previously been exposed to that motion.
Visual stimming takes a lot of different forms. I remember going through two really particular types myself.
The Squint
This is where you mostly close your eyes and all lights take on a funny appearance. Tilting your head one way or another would make those those lights "dance".
The Fade
Unlike the squint which relies on eye closure and head movement, the fade is more of a stare. I found that if you looked very closely at an object, you could get the surrounding areas to fade to grey. It's hard to achieve a complete fadeout because the slightest movement will cause the picture to return.
It sounds more like your son is doing a "fade".
You might want to try asking him what he's doing - not in those words though. Perhaps approaching him when he's doing his "thing" and asking "are you trying to get something strange to happen with your eyes... how does it work".
A "buddy-style" question like this has a better chance of getting a correct answer. Good luck.
For as long as I can remember I have smelled objects! The most convenient: my shirt and fingers. Although while I have been doing this for as long as I have known, I always thought it was because I enjoyed the smell. I do it public, even during college classes. I don't know if what I'm doing is considered stimming or not.
I used to repeatedly look left/right on car rides, or bang my head lightly against the back of the seat. I did them because I enjoyed them, although I don't know why I enjoyed them.
I have problems getting to sleep. I can't stop thinking. I didn't realize that was the problem until a couple of years ago. I do remember though as a child I would bang my head lightly, humming made up tunes to myself. I'd do this until I fell asleep. I stopped doing that at the age of 16, and occasionally I'll wake up to myself doing it.
Rocking is one thing I actually didn't notice until recently. I was checking out traits of stimming, and I told my friend, "Well, I don't rock!", and he said, "Yes you do, you were doing it just last night with your dog in your lap." Since then I have noticed that I in fact do rock on occasion. In fact, quite a lot on this new couch (it's very bouncy).
I've quite a lot of different things that from appearance would be assumed to be stimming. However, from my own perspective, I don't quite understand why it is I do them aside from saying, "I like it, I don't know why but I do."
Do you think what it is I do would be categorized as stimming, or just something I do because I enjoy doing them?
The constant movement of aspie heads while in motion could also be a form of stimming. It's a fascinating insight. It's certainly a very strong feature of aspergers and one of the key reasons why we are often described as "extremely distractable".
Sleep issues are definitely a problem for aspies - I've discussed them here before. When you start using noises/tunes to help yourself to sleep, you're actually performing a common form of vocal stimming.
If that isn't possible then there are medications, like Venlafaxine (Effexor) which can reduce stimming but be warned. These medications have significant side effects and are usually anti-depressants. Many of them can also be addictive.
There's an interesting discussion on stopping stimming here which covers several alternatives. You might find some useful options within it.
There's also a great article on Stimming here which might offer some alternative and less obvious methods.
Visual stimulation can be acheived without notice by counting. For example, counting and estimating numbers of objects in the room.
I frequently roll or fold bits of paper, such as straw wrappers or store receipts. Alternatively, the corner of a sweater or shirt can be unobtrusively folded, thus providing hands/touch stimulation.
Hearing is the most unobtrusive activity as you can stop for a minute and try to consciously hear and identify the many background sounds in the environment. This is also a path to a quick nap, if you need it.
I suggest these as examples of stim type activities that might be used in place of more socially noticable ones.
I also rock when I'm alone, by the way.
Thanks for any input.
Stimming is very much a sensory thing and it follows the five senses (and maybe one or two additional ones that are less obviously identified).
Some aspies have problems dealing with particular sights, sounds, smells, touch etc; and will therefore find alternative ways to stim.
Sight
Aspies stim visually when they stare at patterns.
Sound
The most common source of audio stimming comes from music but some aspies will stim using all kinds of other repetitive noises.
Smell
This is really what you're describing and believe it or not, I've actually heard of aspies stimming in this manner. Given that it's an embarrassing thing to admit, it's likely that more aspies stim this way than are reported.
Taste
This is a lesser stim but I've still heard of it happening. It's more common to stim by mouth-feeling which is actually a touch stim, and something that babies and younger children do when they put toys in their mouths. Biting the nails is also a kind of taste-stim.
Touch
Rocking and knee bobbing are actually forms of touch stimming as are most forms of fidgeting or wringing of hands.
Mental Stimming
This is a different type of stimming and it's relatively unrelated to the five senses in the sense that it's from internal stimulii. It occurs when an aspie starts following mental patterns which could be daydreams but could also be reciting of routines (eg: mathematics) or lists, such as train stations in their heads.
Stimming is a normal part of autistic behaviour and unless it is dangerous or particulaly unsocial, it's not something you need to worry about.
I always do the crotch thing in front of other people but subtly... Don't know how to stop. It's rather embarrassing but I'm not really ashamed, as I know how much it helps me. I guess it could be seen as public masturbation to people who don't know. What should I do about it? Any advice would be appreciated.
I always do the crotch thing in front of other people but subtly... Don't know how to stop. It's rather embarrassing but I'm not really ashamed, as I know how much it helps me. I guess it could be seen as public masturbation to people who don't know. What should I do about it? Any advice would be appreciated.
Although it would be possible to carry a scent, I suspect that the action is just as much part of the stim as the scent itself.
Provided that you're discreet and hygienic and not being caught, it's probably ok.
cd
It's probably best to leave your God daughter doing that as attempting to change it may result in it being replaced by a considerably less acceptable one.
anyway, recently i've been wondering if it's actually more akin to tourettes because my "echolalia" is limited to losing track of a conversation because of a sudden hyperfocus on sound, such that i hear a syllable and it repeats in my head, without meaning, getting louder and louder in my head each time it echos until i can't take it anymore and i have to "reset" my focus by making a different sound myself, out loud, such as "Ah!", which isn't yelled but is certainly loud enough to catch the other persons attention, and apparently often comes across as an "i forgot something and just remembered it" kind of sound.
also, i sometimes have invasive and sudden thoughts, usually about something embarrassing or regrettable, to which i will respond again with the "reset" sound in order to get my mind off of it. when that happens, those around me often ask "what's wrong?" so i figure it sounds about the same as when i get fixated on a sound and had to "reset" for that.
as for the mental stimming, i've never heard of that before but i do have this habit of "relaxing" throughout the day by designing in my head or on paper. i NEED to do this several times each day and i do it for at least a half hour each time, so i am viewed as a "daydreamer" and i'm not extremely productive in school or at work.
when i escape into my head, i will design ANYTHING by any means, employing lists, flow charts, 3D drawings, etc. but i most enjoy designing houses. i envision each being built on a real piece of property which i will find on Google Earth and which i have chosen according to research i have done on the surrounding area's culture, towns, geographic interests, etc. i will design the house right down to the selection of materials, "green" systems used, and interior design elements included, with the primary focus being the interaction of human lifestyle/workflow and solar positioning (all because i prefer natural lighting to artificial lighting)... does this classify as mental stimming?
what exactly are the differences between AS and tourettes in regard to these possible stimming behaviors?
If your son is jumping, flapping and humming, then the stim is probably drawing a lot of unwanted attention.
It would be best if your son could change to an alternative stim.
Your son is going to need to jump. That's a very common thing amongst children on the spectrum. Maybe get him a trampoline to help him get that out of his system.
Then try to find something else (less distracting)that he can do in class, like fidgeting or touching a piece of felt on his pencil case etc. Encourage him to do that instead and save the jumping for home.
I suspect highly that I have aspergers or something along the autistic spectrum.
The girl that touches the fingers sequentially and looks at you while moving her head: I do that - and I never really thought much about it 'til the last week or so thought for real that I might have aspergers.
You should see if she is musical - see if she has perfect pitch, could play musical instruments. I'd love to see if that stim is related to music. I've played the piano since a toddler, had lessons since I was five, and couldn't understand why other people couldn't make music out of any instrument, or bottles, or 5 gallon buckets, etc.
As a toddler through to today, I strum my fingers against tables, have to fight the strong urge to TOUCH everything in the store (I don't, but REALLY want to), never quite figured out the right timing to look at people, talk VERY quietly or too loud, make comments that get ppl to say "Did HE just say THAT!?"...
I'm almost moving some muscle somewhere in my body. The focus shifts. I either look up/down/side-to-side, cross and uncross my ankles, wiggle my fingers (I do that EVERYWHERE, especally wiggling the tips of my fingers), make slightly funny faces (they amuse me - I'm doing it now).
I'm very introspective, clumsy walking (unless I walk quickly - otherwise I don't quite know where to put my feet), like to babble songs in a made up language (too bad I'm not in a talking-in-tongues group - I would do it in a heartbeat, anytime, anywhere, if it were socially acceptable).
addicted to cigarettes (again, engages the senses, like a mini-meditation). Rocks front to back when playing the piano - and when I'm tired, shake my feet.
And all of these little things I do thousands of times a day amuse me greatly. They keep me happy, satisfied. Some mini faces (like an elvis curl of the lip) make me chuckle.
I type at 110-130wpm (even with a broken laptop keyboard), find it sometimes painful after a shower for 20-30 mins and drying off. Skin feels like its crawling and a deep itch - its not mere dry skin, although mega b-vitamins and magnesium and zinc seems to help calm the nerves down).
Do I have aspergers? Heck if I know. I figured it was ADHD, too much coffee, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, or some other thing. But having aspergers would make a WHOLE lot of sense.
My brain works 10,000% better than my mouth. I feel like Moses who had to have his brother do all the talking because Moses had speech difficulties. Stuttered as a kid. Had to get biofeedback to control what mom calls those times I was "Inconsolable" - I'd get upset and wouldn't listen to anybody or anything 'til I was done).
I have a naive, positive outlook on life, yet I've learned skepticism and to be unsurprised when people have nefarious motives, even though I can't fully understand it. Always have a backup plan, get comfortable with Murphy's Law - anticipate it, even. Keep a child-like outlook but be as skeptical yet as fair as a good court judge, or a minister, or college professor or schoolteacher.
And I've never really known anybody like myself except when volunteering for the cerebral palsy center in union nj many many years ago (I'm in naples, fl now). I felt a real connection to the kids and teens who had cp, downs, emotional problems, autism - and this was back in '93 or so).
Thanks for listening. -Ken, Naples, FL http://free.naplesplus.us Homepage
http://www.facebook.com/kenneth.udut
I suppose I think of "stimming" as the classic rocking or hand-flapping, but it isn't that simple, is it... I do do things - fiddle with my bangle and ring or anything near my hands, chew things (anything) make repetitive patterns of muscle movement... when I do this, it's generally because I'm all wound up, so I associate it more with anxiety than calm. Also I feel like a stupid weird child doing peculiar things AGAIN!!! as I do so often.
I'm 48 - official diagnosis a year ago, thought I had it years before that, though - and what I'm finding a bit tough right now is the idea that it's neurological not psychological: that there is something different about my brain - my actual brain - and that will never change.
Thank goodness for the Net, anyway. The lives we'd live, alone with all this - it doesn't bear thinking about.
Everybody stims, Aspies and NTs alike and usually they're unaware of it.
Aspies tend to stim more often than NTs and it tends to be more for stress/anxiety relief. Most aspies won't be aware that it's a relief mechanism, they'll probably just tell you that it feels good.
Virtually any kind of repetitive behaviour without a specific point other than "feel-good" can be a stim. The difficulty involved in stopping the stim and the frequency at which it occurs is what distinguishes an aspie stim from a neurotypical stim.
The most obvious of all of the symptoms is the hand flapping. My mother called it Hand Dancing. I wave my fingers in front of my face, and suddenly, it's like I'm transported into another world. My parents argue that it interferes with my productivity, but I think otherwise. When I "hand dance" I make up stories, compose music, and create entire movies in my head. I am very involved in all of the arts. Some activities take me closer to the stimming than others. Playing the piano actually helps me control it. Writing makes it worse.
Less pronounced symptoms include ritualistic behavior, and a lack of empathy. I always thought that empathy was just common courtesy. When someone was feeling upset, I would comfort them because I felt like it was socially required. I only recently discovered that empathy isn't just polite behavior, it's a legitimate feeling--a feeling that I apparently lack.
Over the years I've learned how to hide all of it. Every person I know--with the exception of my family and a few understanding friends whom I confide in--believes that I am perfectly normal. I stopped doing it in public after the bullying became too painful in elementary school.
My question is whether or not a person can be diagnosed with AS if they only exhibit some of the symptoms, and not others. For instance, though I "hand dance," exhibit ritualistic tendencies and lack empathy, I am able to read people very well, make perfect eye contact, and more than adequately express myself in both written language and speech. The doctors said that I was just "idiosyncratic." Now, I'm not so sure.
Preston, that is so interesting to hear you talk about "extreme empathy". That is one thing that I have always wondered about. When I was younger, I felt like I was closer to lacking empathy, but lately, in the past two years I describe myself as "feeling too much" often. I can cry just thinking about certain painful experiences my boyfriend has been too, and I cry sometimes after sex because I love him so much. It's like whether it's good or bad, I get moved to tears. It's not always him that triggers this extreme empathy, but it happens with him most frequently.
Interesting to hear that this might have to do with AS too.
As for stimming -- I have LOTS of them. One question I have for all you though is -- how many of you involve pain in your stimming? If I am having an argument or tough discussion I often pinch or pick at my lips repeatedly and it helps calm me down. Anyone else?
It's something to do with co-ordination and muscular control.
Singing and nonsense talking or noise making are all very common forms of stimming. There's nothing wrong with them (except early in the morning when everyone else is asleep).
Everybody stims, it's just that children on the spectrum stim more frequently and more intently than most.
If stimming is the only behaviour you notice, I wouldn't be too concerned. You might want to redirect the stimming to less socially difficult forms but otherwise, don't panic.
When your son starts school, the teachers will be able to tell you how he is in relation to the other children. For many parents, that's the point at which diagnosis starts.
I am currently attempting to convince my mother to take me to a specialist, yet it is hard to start the conversation. Might you give me some tips?
That sounds very much like aspergers.
See criteria here;
You've cited A(4) and suggested A(2).
Stimming is B(3)
Have a look at C-F and see what you think.
If your son is verbal now, have you tried talking to him about his stimming. If possible, sit next to him next time he's doing it, and look at what he's looking at (or do what he's doing) then ask him what he's doing with his eyes.
It could be a stim, it could be deliberate (like squinting his eyes to make lights appear different)or it could be involuntary.
Medications can also produce these sorts of side effects so if he's on any, consider stopping them briefly to see if the stim goes away.
my son is not diagnosed, but may have aspie, and has in the last few moths started rocking more and more, I'm starting to worry about the social impact it will have when he goes back to school in September, and seriously considering getting him seen by a doc for a referral, even though his dad insists he is neurotypical and doesn't need any extra support. I have no idea if NT kids rock&stim, but do you think rocking will be a big deal in a class of 7-8yr olds?
1. There's always someone in the family who denies the condition. Unfortunately, denial doesn't make it not real.
2. Anything that makes a child seem different to the group will be noticed. This includes stimming.
Having a diagnosis won't include anything which helps your child to stop stimming. Therapy can make it less noticeable and a label can make it more defensible. That's really the best you can do.
I'm 15 years old and have had Asperger's for most of my life but my parents never mentioned it much until I asked about it.
I've recently started reading up on what the symptoms and issues that go along with Asperger's are. I've always known I had strange behaviors and had no idea why I acted that way until recently.
Some of the things I do are pacing around in the dark late at night or skipping/running around my house when my parents are out. Occasionally one of my parents will catch me doing it and I feel extremely embarrassed about it.
Would these be considered stimming? If they are, how can I change them to more acceptable/ less noticeable ones?
I have an adopted daughter from China who will be 2 next month. She is still very young and has only been home with us for 6 months, but she has been given an ASD diagnosis. It is difficult for me as her parent to determine (or maybe accept?) that she is truly on the spectrum. She spent the first 17 months of her life extremely deprived of proper care, nutrition, and stimulation. We have noticed a lot of self stimming behaviors from the beginning, and new ones have emerged over time. These behaviors include staring at her hands, playing with shadows, staring at her reflection in any reflective surface, squinting, constantly making noise, rocking and head hitting (with her hand). We've been able to help her lessen rocking by rocking her in a chair ourselves everyday and giving her time to rock on a rocking horse and a swing. But, we don't know how to help with the visual stimming. Is there something we can do to give her the sensory input she needs to help with these behaviors? Thank you for your insightful blog and for taking the time to respond!
2 is quite a young age for a diagnosis unless behavior is significantly different - which, in this case, it sounds like it is.
For the time being, you might want to treat the label as "possible" because six months probably isn't long enough for her to adjust to her new home and family.
Of course, the label should give you access to funding and services, so it's a good idea to take these onboard.
Most of the things you would do for a child with autism would also apply for a child with delays and apprehensions due to other psychological causes - so you should still continue down the path of autism.
You're doing great work in reducing the stims and you'll find that patterns, particularly stark black and white ones, will enable her to stim at home without being so obvious.
Keep in mind though that stimming is both an anxiety/stress coping technique and something that the child enjoys. Unless it's actually harmful, there's little benefit in taking it away from her.
As she grows older, she'll either move away from stimming or develop more socially appropriate forms but at 2 years, it's a bit too early to be concerned.
This was such a great post and follow up comments! My son (7) is being assessed for Aspergers and stims anytime he is a. idle or b. concentrating. It is so hard. He doesn't realize most of the time he's stimming. Right now, I'm reading a book (aimed at OCD) about helping alleviate compulsive behaviors. A few of his stims MUST be replaced/removed as they are UNACCEPTABLE (ie pinching himself, touching his privates, nose picking) and a few that are annoying at best (squawking...other verbal stims). I know that with OCD compulsions are driven by fear rather than a compulsion one doesn't even realize he is imposing; although, rigidity is a problem here too. Anyway, I found this a great read and thank you for sharing!
Thank you!
Kristi
Thank you for such an interesting post. I was googling stimming and this was the first one to come up. My son is 7 and was diagnosed with Aspergers 12 months ago. He has been seeing a psychologist and occupational therapist for most of this time, and really seems to be progressing quite well at school and home. I am a school teacher, and did a day of relief in his class last week. I noticed that he stims the whole time he is in the classroom. He sits at his desk while the others are on the mat (something he arranged with his usual teacher..) and he rocks back and forth in his chair, squeaks, rubs his hands over his mouth and then puts them between his legs. He will stim at home quite often, not to this extent, and when he does we will send him out to the trampoline to jump, or break the stim with a game etc. I am a little sad for him that this is how he spends his day at school, because his classmates do notice now and comment on it. Is there anything I can do at all? I understand that I can't stop him from doing it, but I wish there was something I could do to 'help' him so that it doesn't become such a social issue in the future? Many thanks, Liz
Autism is not a disease, syndrome, or disorder. It's a set of traits that coincide with each other, like any set of traits...blue eyes coinciding with blond hair, a good singing voice coinciding with a good sense of rhythm.. Autism is just smart minds coinciding with special sensory abilities, being different due to off-the-charts creativity and a unique perspective, and sometimes having learning difficulties because the brain is wired differently and we don't yet know how to get through to them. And that part still doesn't make it a disorder because the good far outweighs the bad. Everything in the world comes with a negative side.
I personally think it's a not-yet-fully-developed evolutionary response to industrialized society. We used to have an agricultural society where everyone had to do a variety of tasks relating to their survival, instead of specializing. Now we are one big interconnected system with each person managing a tiny part of it. This system works more efficiently than the former, might I add.
So-called Aspergers children have obsessions with specific things, sometimes even parts of things. For neurotypical people, it is not normal to love and cherish and know all about one repetitive thing or part, yet it is required in many occupations, such as factory work. For "autistics" it is natural, therefore they are adapted to these aspects of modern society and it's easier for them to specialize.
As the world becomes more computerized, "autistics" will come to dominate the world...like Bill Gates. They have both technical skill and charisma on the internet, the new form of communication. One company hires only autistic IT technicians, not out of charity, but out of utility. The challenge right now is to make sure they know they're beautiful just the way they are and that there's nothing "wrong" with them. It's part of the natural diversity of genes and traits.
As for the difficulty with social interaction...that's a result of EVERYBODY ELSE being closed-minded. Take a look at how they interact with each other.
I hope that in the end, those who know who they are and won't be beaten down by normalcy will pwn you and all the others who doubt them. They will pwn with their amazing minds and unshakeable focus.
Trying to discourage them from stimming is like trying to shut down their fundamental mental processes. Stimming induces a state of high creativity, intense joy, organized thought, and amplified visualization ability in some. Who wouldn't do it? Those who think its a bad thing are probably jealous or something.
BREAK FREE OF THE SYSTEM, PEEPS!
I, myself, didn't understand my desire to rock, constantly, but with some educational enlightenment I now know why I do it.
It really doesn't "feel" like anything - in fact, I'm often doing when I don't even realize it. Usually somebody else points it out to me.
As a child I was considered to be "retarded." That was the word used to describe people like me, back then. Many of those same people ended up eating those words when I obtained a master's degree and maintained a straight A GPA in college. I'm currently pursuing a Ph.D. and plan to become a professor.
I find myself very drawn also to people who are somewhat marginal socially. None of them, including myself, would be considered classically autistic or asperger's, however, almost all of my closest friends "stim" in some way or another at all times. Much of our internal group culture is dedicated to accepting and even celebrating these habits.
Most of us were socialized in childhood into acceptable "stims." For example, I sucked my thumb and twirled my hair until I was 8 (I would hide it behind my book in class) when my dentist weaned me off of it over a 3 month period. Now I find myself pressing my mouth with my hand and playing with my hair. I could even say that my love of dance and yoga are a way to "stim" acceptably. Those are both daily activities for me.
You do say that everyone stims, that it's the intensity and focus and duration that set apart those on the spectrum. But what I feel, and this is truly a feeling, not a thinking, and certainly not "expert" knowledge, is that the autism category is a useful way to think about behavior and development, provides a starting place for treatment, comprehension, and compassion, AND is not the only way, sometimes not the best way, to categorize someone's behavior/personality.
I think that many of my friends, had they been born in the 90's instead of the 80's, would have been diagnosed on the ADHD - Autism - Asperger's spectrum. Many of us have had to learn how to be socially appropriate, I certainly did - I taught myself, because my parents didn't really know how to be socially appropriate and maintain close friendships either. They are extremely intelligent, but not much socially.
Maybe we just rejected society and chose a different, bohemian, punk, hippie lifestyle. Maybe we're just quirky and odd and never really "fit in" - but not disordered. Or maybe we are all somewhere on that spectrum, and because of the time in which we were born, have learned to deal with it by living primarily in community with others who are similar and creating networks and systems that allow us to survive happily without having to change our quirks in order to be acceptable. We may not flap our hands, most of us, or if we do, we don't think it's a problem. But if we had been born ten or 15 years later, would we think it was a problem and think we were all disordered and instead of trying to create a lifestyle that meets our needs, be trying to conform to that imposed by media etc even more??
I don't know. Maybe it's easy for me to say all this because I've never been labeled, other than "slow but smart." But I am very glad that I never was because it would have been devastating for me, to carry that around for my life. I think about going to a hospital or specialist when things get really hard for me and I don't understand it. Instead, I go to my friends.
I just want to let people know that stimming does not necessarily mean your child has Asperger's or autism. And don't tell your kids to "stop doing it"! I've actually calmed myself down and effectively stopped or prevented panic attacks by stimming.
And I've never been called out, picked on, or scorned because of this. Granted, my stimming habits are not as severe as some people's, but just because your kid stims doesn't mean they'll be bullied. :)
It was their way of introducing sensory feedback.
Aspergers has a way of masquerading as other conditions. (See: Co-conditions)
My other stim involves books. I read a lot. When I was in school I would be reminded to be quiet because as I was reading a textbook, I would love to constantly roll a pencil or pink eraser up and down the top of the book. Now as I read, I constantly ruffle pages at the corners or hold a single page at the side and middle and make it "wave" down the the middle, then create the wave toward the top, then wave down to bottom. Repeat. I also like to finger the binding at the top and bottom of the book. But my favorite is to have a book with that thick plastic covering. I crinkle the edges over and over as I read. I love the sound- I'm in heaven and it helps me focus on reading. Needless to say, when I return a library book, it looks very used! I can browse a shelf at the library and recognize any book that had been in my hands because it's crinkled and wrinkled! I cannot imagine reading books on kindle or the like. I would not be able to focus or have any pleasure reading if I could not handle and fidget with the book. Poor books!
My child was screened for autism at age 2 and at age 3, both times they said highly intelligent but no special education services needed. He's 4 now, and I still think he's on the spectrum. Can you tell me if these things sound like aspergers or autism to you? I'm considering getting him screened again, but by a different service this time around.
1. Stimming - (mostly at school storytime, nap, and at bedtime) constant movement, constant whispers/babbles, licks book edges and licks knees, also moves head in unusual way while babbling. (kind of like stevie wonder does when he sings).
2. Tantrums at school, hitting, pushing, throwing, normally over toys, results in tantrums and time outs, gets in a lot of consequence type situations at school, 1 teacher thinks he's oppositional, another thinks he may have special needs
3. Is extremely intelligent, very articulate, family and friends almost always suprised with how well mannered he is, how he's like talking to a little adult.
4. Very sweet and adorable child but struggles in school mostly.
5. 80% of the time repeats questions in an unusual way "Son, would you like an icecream", responds "I WOULD like an icecream" or "I can have an icecream" rather than just saying 'yes'
6. Finally, he struggles a bit with directions, if you say 'look infront of you' he may look everywhere but infront.
Its been difficult with screening as he goes in just adorably sweet, we believe he saves the majority of his stimming for when he gets home, right after school. He has socially struggles with other children but not so much with other adults. If you met him for 1 day you may notice articulate bright child, slighty monotone voice, but if you spent a week with him, you'd notice more. The autism screening is just a 1 or 2 hour session so i believe they are missing it. I think he could potentially continue through public school system as he is very bright, but he does also need some help.
Any advice? Should I take a video of him stimming to a screening to show them? or is this going overboard?
Please advise!
A fine motor skill, like a specific eye movement is a good example.
If you're not sure, get it checked out by a doctor but if it's a stim, there's very little that you can do about it.
- whistling... Usually the louder I can get it, the more satisfied and happy I feel.
- teeth grinding or putting pressure on alternate sides of my jaw/teeth to the tune of songs I make up in my head (this often happens as I am trying to go sleep)
-clicking in my throat
- skin picking, I have many many scars on my back /arms/face from years of picking and this is generally worse when I am stressed/anxious.
- making my shoulders/back/stomach tense up and releasing them repeatedly to the point where I find it hard to control and it actually isn't a pleasurable/relaxing habit, more annoying and uncomfortable.
I think these are the main 'Stims' I am questioning. Many thanks for any response, :)
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I was at an awards ceremony with a friend and I was unconsciously drumming on the table. When I was younger, we had these porch chairs that rocked, and one time at dinner my dad told me that my rocking was making him dizzy.
I also repeatedly say whatchamacallit and thingamajigger and thingamabobber because I know what I'm thinking but it gets blocked or slowed somewhere between my brain and my mouth.
I'm also very fidgety, playing with my pens and pencils during class.
I also haven't ever been very good with empathy. My little sister gets homesick, I just tell her to take my phone and text mom as many desperately homesick texts as she wants, as long as she stays out of my room.
I also tend to be a little domineering. I want things my way, all the time. I think its a search for control, because I can't depend on a schedule, given that my family's too big to rely on one.
Usually it's the amount and intensity which matters.
I can't really say without knowing more about the child but if it's a problem, you should take the child to see a specialist.
i have a 3,5 years old son and he has Asperger. The main problem is that he jumps up and down all the time, like 70% off all day. We somethimes manage to disturb him in jumping, but sometimes, he is very mad, and doesnt want to stop it. it draws lots of attention of other people. Please, tell me, what terapy could reduce this stimming? To whom I should go? Will he ever stop to do this stimming and will he ever be aware of this unwanted behaviur? Thanks.
Probably the best thing you can do for your jumpy 3.5 year old is to get him a mini-trampoline and let him get his jumps out there.
In time, you'll be able to teach him that his jumps should be done on the trampoline and that if he needs to jump at school, he should try to save it for later.
It won't always work but it will reduce the attention he draws to himself. When he gets a little older, you can give him something else to do when he feels the need to jump, such as a squeeze-ball that he can carry in his pocket.
For the time being though, he'll probably need to jump until he's old enough to understand the social implications.
Putting the trampoline in the living room is probably not the best thing to do as you want your son to know when he needs to jump and to learn to jump in a more private setting.
You also want to try to encourage him to play and talk normally in the living areas.
Given that he's still quite young and that speech is developing normally, there's no reason to believe that he won't be well suited to a normal school.
I know I started this in grade school, I know there was an improvement in my grades after I started this but doubt it was the cause.
My mother said I was pacifying my self much like sucking my thumb, which I have never done.
This is a great blog with much good information.
Good question. Lets take it out of the whole Stimming context for a minute.
You're listening to a song in your head - perhaps even singing along. You like the beat, it calms you.
Then someone comes down, sits next to you and starts singing the same song.
Is it good?
...
The short answer is probably no. When you're in the right mood and you don't mind the other singer joining in, then it all works and you establish great contact. This is rare however.
Most of the time, the other party becomes at best a distraction and more likely an irritation. It actually makes you annoyed at the person and damages the bond.
In my opinion, copying stimming behaviours carries more negative than positive baggage and if repeated regularly creates a risk of the child further distancing themselves from the other person.
Using a trampoline is only beneficial in this sense because it's almost impossible for a child to continue a stim while jumping. He'll most likely go back to the stim as soon as he stops jumping.
The same could be said for giving him chewable things such as chewelry and gum.
I'm not sure how you could stop a stim like this unless you could get him to understand the danger to his teeth.
Perphaps you could take some steps to reduce stress on the teeth, such as a mouthguard?
i was diagnosed with Aspergers, after many years of misdiagnosis's, i find myself constantly counting things, for example i will count how many letters are in a word and so on. i also bite my nails and at night my brain starts to shut down and i start rocking backwards and forwards. the only way i can stop rocking is to go to bed and sleep till the morning. is there anyway i can stop the severity of the counting as its really annoying???
Leon
My oldest son was recently diagnosed as having an autism spectrum disorder by a school psychologist. I think it's Aspergers. He stims by doing what he calls "hand shows". While his current teacher has helped him enormously to decrease this behavior at school, he hasn't stopped it. In fact, he seems to be doing it more at home now. When I tried to explain this to her, she didn't understand.
I brought it up again at a recent follow-up meeting to his IEP; he's transitioning to middle school next year. Again, his teacher failed to understand my point. I was very gratified when yesterday, our inclusion support teacher (I work at this school) spoke to me when she gave me copies of the paperwork we'll be submitting to his next school. She understood my concerns, and doesn't think he needs to stop his hand shows. I don't either. I would like him to minimize it in public, so he's not shamed or bullied, but I don't expect him to stop it. I know it provides him some relief. I just wish I could get his teacher to understand that I appreciate all she has done for him, to minimize his hand shows at school, but also to understand he is not going to ever stop stimming.
Again, thank you so much for your blog - and for this topic in particular. It has been helpful for me to read your comments and the comments of so many others.
Who cares what people think of you, if it's a stim that helps relax you, go ahead and stim to your heart's content.
Before I was diagnosed, my parents forcibly stopped me from doing what we now know were 'stims' and it did a lot of harm to me. When I realised what they were and that I shouldn't be ashamed of them, it made my life a lot easier to handle.
Please don't make people feel bad for doing something that is as natural to them as speaking to people is to you.
It's certainly possible that your three year old could be stimming via nursery rhyme.
I guess it depends on why he is saying it but if the aim is to calm or provide pleasurable feedback, eg: if he's clearly enjoying the sounds of the rhyme (ie: vibration on the tongue, possibly motions associated with it).
Endless repetition is only part of the stimming cycle. The feeling is the other part.
Do such things fall under stimming? Should we take him to a specialist?
Thank you.
Many of these are social disorders.
They "look funny" to those around him that don't do them.
They want him to be just like them, or a closer resemblance to them.
But if he isn't harming himself or others, to me, it's normal for him and they're just outbusts - just as if someone either banged their first on the table when mad or laughed when happy.
Thing how strange laughing really is in the scheme of human behavior?
He expresses himself differently - not for the benefit of those around him, but for the benefit of himself.
An urge that he follows.
Kenneth Udut
Naples, Florida USA
simplify3
It's possible that your 5 year old cousin could have aspergers but stimming is also a reaction to stress. It could also relate to trauma. You should see if it can get looked into by a professional.
Foot tapping/knee bouncing - I do it all the time, usually when sitting down. It makes me feel like I am resaeing nervous energy, in control
Biting and chewing things - objects, clothes, people when I was little
Compulsive urge and enjoyment of picking scabs
Wringing my hands together
Thanks.
Given that the behaviour that you're seeing with your boy is reactionary, it's clearly not stimming.
Stimming is a mostly subconcious thing. This behaviour from your son is deliberate.
As you said, it's probably something to do with being tired. It might also be a way of guaranteeing some one-on-one time with you.
If the opportunity arises during these episodes, try to divert him to an activity which you can both enjoy. Give him some one-on-one time with you but in a non-confrontational way.
If this works, then you need to find a way to get him to "use his words" when he wants time with you.
I have never been diagnosed with autism but some of the things I do have got me thinking that I might be on the spectrum too.
Examples: I do this knee bobbing thing and sometimes I pace back and forth, tapping my fingers together.
When I was younger I used to compulsively bite my nails.
Today, I had this meltdown brought on by problems with my computer and I started rocking and hitting myself(feeling embarrassed by it now)
I have been told by a couple friends that I have some signs of aspergers? o.O
Anyway, is it possible to go my whole life this far with autism and not even know it? I'm 31 now and my daughter is 4(asd/spd)
it's awesome explanation
love this
I don't know what to do. I thought it has to do with Adhd?
I am starting to put pieces together and am wondering if certain things I used to do and currently do are stims.
For example, sometimes I used to randomly touch my thumbs to my fingertips sequentially. But since I was a pianist, I had reasoned that I was just basically practicing piano scales (like air guitar, but air piano). Now I wonder if it was an aspergers' stim.
When I was in elementary school, I used to suck & chew on the ends of my braid.
I also colored paper with a pink crayon, and chewed it, pretending it was gum. ( we were not allowed to chew gum in school).
In 5th grade, after having the chicken pox, I was sent back to school with many scabs on my scalp which I picked off during class and slid through my hair. (disgusting!)
I am always catching myself bouncing one or both legs, or shaking my foot up and down when I have my legs crossed.
Ever since I can remember, I have rocked myself to sleep by moving my feet a certain way in bed, which rocks my whole body.
And as Donna above wrote:
"Here's a rather embarrassing one, but one nonetheless. I have AS and whenever I'm nervous or uneasy I quickly rub my hand in between my legs and smell my hand, thereby smelling my crotch."
I think I used to do that too, when I was a teenager, but always when I was alone!!!!
Nobody ever caught any of these things. I come across as very normal, but on the inside, I have never felt normal. As a child, I had to keep everything perfectly organized and arranged just so. My crayons were in order by color, my games were perfectly kept, the dice in the game boxes always had to have the number 5 facing upwards. I loved to put things in order. When I showered, my body parts had to be washed in a certain order. I was a very anxious kid, with extreme separation anxiety.
I was very smart, always at the top of my class. I have perfect pitch in music. I could read very early on, but couldn't do lots of things the other girls could do. For example, it took me a long time to learn to tie my shoelaces, I couldn't do "cartwheels", I was always very stiff when roller-skating, and even still it is difficult for me to follow along when learning dance steps or doing aerobics. I have basically quit trying to learn.
I am still not sure whether I have Aspergers and even my psychiatrist doesn't know. If I do have it, I have learned to cope and cover for it very well, and I put on a good "normalcy" act.
However, I am still single because I fell in love very hard in my early 20s and have never gotten over him. I am no longer even interested in men, although I feel it would be nice to have a family.
I also have never seen the point in wearing "girly" clothes, which to me seem very impractical. Skirts, dresses, and high heels are torture for me. Instead I practically live & go to work in jeans and t-shirts, and will not wear slippery or scratchy fabrics.
But I never had a "special interest" that I talked about, and I was rather shy as a child.
My hair - the mere existence of it - has bothered me for as long as I can remember. I used to constantly play with my hair and run my fingers through it. As a kid, getting a haircut was such a thrilling and liberating feeling, and I would beg my mother to let me get crew-cuts, against her objections. Now, as an adult, I shave all my hair right down to skin level, including my armpits and my pubic hair. When it grows back in again, I always find myself inadvertently stroking it (especially my beard and facial hair).
The other possible "stimming" behavior I can't seem to shake is my habit of (in private) taking my shoes and socks off, and scratching my feet very vigorously, to the point where flakes of skin come off. I also run my fingers through the spaces between my toes to the point of making my skin peel slightly. I get nearly as much of a "high" from this behavior as I do from masturbating.
It may seem to you that his stimming is making him more agitated but it's more likely that it's calming him internally.
As you said, it could be a response to overstimulation via TV or music. I don't think that you can take these things away though without finding something to replace them.
If you have the time to engage your son on other things, then it would be worthwhile taking him out for walks or trying out social interactions such as autism or downs syndrome social groups. They may be able to get him involved in things like Tai Chi or other non-media hobbies.
There are no medications which reduce stimming behaviours, so the only medications available to you would be ones to sedate him. I really don't think these would be a good idea.
If you're finding it hard to cope, then you clearly need a little time-out yourself. You should look around for respite care to put your son in. Talk to local support groups, neighbourhood centers and doctors. Don't accept "No" for an answer because all carers need time out.
You more or less just went through a mental tick list of things which apply to Asperger's syndrome.
Individually, most of those things can be chalked up to "just being a kid" but together, they paint quite a different picture.
Of course, some kids cope better with the challenges that Asperger's syndrome places on them than others. If your son doesn't seem to need help, then there's no pressing need to run out and seek a diagnosis.
It mostly depends on his comfort level with himself.
I would like for him to have friends. He's had friends before but had to move so he doesnt see them anymore. Its been 3 years since then and each year he starts out saying he doesnt have friends but by the end of the school year he's fine. Then the new year starts and he has all different class mates again. Do you have any tips I could give him to help him with this? Also, should I tell him he has Aspergers? I dont want him to feel like he has something wrong with him but if I, at 31 years old, found out I had it and my mom had known since I was a kid and never said or did anything about it Im not sure how I would feel about that.
Are his classmates similar to him or different? Also, has he expressed concern that he might be different?
Boys often obsess over a single thing for a very long time then shift to something else; introversion may explain some of it; Of course, it's possible he has Aspergers as well...
When i was around that age, I stumbled upon one of those kids "Am I normal?" books that went through things that can be surprisingly normal and some other things that "you might want to ask your parent/teacher about"
I don't remember the title; but they exist (I'm sure much improved; I'm 42 and better kids' books have come out with more up to date info in them).
It's a hard thing: Having a "name" for something you may or may not have *could* bring comfort, "Well, that's just my Asperger's acting up" - giving him a self-talk that's comforting when he doesn't understand himself.
Or.. it could be a prison (Oh no I'll never be normal) or an excuse for behavior ("can't because I have Aspergers").
He's old enough, I think, with the right materials, to work *with* you to decide if its something worth investigaging further; if his self-esteem seems intact, "leave well enough alone" might work.
If you're concerned, talk to him about it.
But again; from a girl's/woman's perspective, boys are weird. The only people that called me weird in school were girls; the other boys were more or less weird like me and understood. But having the label "weird" was something it took a lot of years to process.
labels can have a lasting impact that change your self-image; my opinion, as a non-licensed anything; is "handle with care".
Maybe you could pick up a few books or watch some youtube videos on "What's normal boy behavior" and go through it step by step and compare. It's a start; at least eliminating a few and perhaps highlighting others. That's something you could do that wouldn't involve anything dramatic on his life just yet. Just a thought.
At 2.5 though, generally a child is too young to have stimming actions taken too seriously unless a parent is already known to have autism.
I have to add that people who persistently look at my legs and feet annoy me enormously for making it harder for me to function and simultaneously meet every persnickety nuance of appropriate body language & posture. I'll also add that "discreet" sounds like an ambiguous way to raise an issue with a (young person?) with AS. And I'll also add that I'm still unconvinced it's your business.
facial movements.His teachers dont see it as a problem due to not disruting others,however all that must be a barrier to his learning bless him and hes going to secondary school next year.Tried to get a diagnoses but feel like im banging my head against a brick wall. I dont want a diagnoses for any other reason than to access support for him.I work in education and its all about the funding!!!!
Sorry for saying so much here-the biggest problem in life is that I find no satisfaction in it even though i am blessed with so much and that is really my greatest problem of all. I am helping people with literacy and am finally beginning to turn the tide in my life by dropping material things and helping my borthers and sisters on this planet. I feel great joy from this and feel that this is what I (and all of us)are meant to do. Thanks for your posts and listening. John in Ohio
He has no development delays. Speech is typical for age, with lots of joint attention and engagement.
Do neurotypical kids stim visually like this ever? Or should I book an appt for testing? We have had ASD ruled out few times but I guess the mild cases are hard to tell early.
Everyone Stims because it's a calming thing. Younger children arguably stim more than older ones because they haven't developed other coping mechanisms yet. 2.5 is probably too young to worry about things, particularly if your son's other milestones are on track.
Stimming is more common in stressful situations though, so it's worthwhile noting when he stims in case there are common factors (such as under certain lighting conditions, room decorating, separation anxiety etc). At this stage though, it sounds more like he's just orientating himself to his environment.
I do stim, I know this - but its not usually that noticeable. I have a reclining business chair in front of my computer in the home office and I rock back and forth on that and swing side to side a bit. I also twirl and curl my hair on my fingers a lot to relax. I also bite my lips a bit and pick my fingernails and wring my hands/rub my fingertips together in circular motions. Nothing too weird there right?
My main issue is a compulsive habit I’ve always had for as long as I can remember, I snort and sniff and clear my throat constantly, I try not too but the compulsion builds up and I do it. Sometimes I do it at the end of a statement, its incessant like 5-10 times a minute all day and night especially when I’m stressed. Having recently been diagnosed and dealing with the damage between me and my wife and also the kid’s diagnoses has seen it really skyrocket for me in frequency. On the days I am home alone and it goes unchecked I will do it continually. I feel fine when I wake but by the end Of the day or middle of the day I have packed my sinuses so tight with pressure that I get crazy headaches and vertigo, when I stand my vision blacks out on me. I’m not getting past it and it’s wearing me down. I have to work so hard not to do it in public and the only relief with holding off is that the relief of snorting is that much greater when I start after a break. I also clench my teeth really hard which adds considerable pressure to my jaw and temples and I also tap and grind my teeth side to side in a rhythmic fashion with music or to create sound in my head when there is none, it is much worse when I drive as I tap my teeth in rhythm to the passing dots on the road. My jaw and head are very tight and sore I currently take Dexamphetamine 40mg a day. So how do I stop? I have realised recently that there are some things I can change with my condition but there others that will never change. The stimming is fine its therapeutic and rocking and spinning in my leather chair and biting my lip, curling my hair etc. are not destructive behaviours for me but the clenching and grinding teeth and the snorting/sniffing/throat clearing are not only causing me pain but are socially inappropriate too. I’ve had this behaviour so long (for like 32 years) and I’ve tried some behaviour modifications to change it but they do not work. Could the Dex be making it worse - it has helped immensely with my cognitive thought process and being able to organise my thoughts and words, it doesn't make me feel manic at all. There was no change in frequency when I first started taking the Dexamphetamine so I do not think so but I could be wrong. I’m wondering how to stop but I just feel almost unstoppable compulsion to do it. I wonder if even though its unpleasant all these behaviours serve to put pressure into my head for some reason maybe?
Is there anyone who can help me please? I need help.
by Josh Hanagarne. What you describe in "I snort and sniff and clear my throat constantly, I try not too but the compulsion builds up and I do it," sounds exactly like Josh Hanagarne's situation, and he has Tourette's. Hope this helps!
Aside from various more neurotypical forms of stimming, two lifelong behavior patterns have always worried me:
1) When I'm especially distraught, I have to start speaking in gibberish. This makes me feel much better, and I can control it long enough to get out of hearing distance before I start. In high school, this was daily; now, in my thirties, it's a couple times a year (I'm not upset very often). But it leaves me ashamed, as it seems like such a scary, crazy thing to do. This is the first time I've told a soul.
2) On a daily basis (and more powerfully when I'm emotional) I feel compelled to draw the same pattern, over and over. I could do it indefinitely if left undisturbed. I'm a good enough drawer (and by now have enough practice) that people usually are complimentary of my 'work' if they notice. Sometimes, however, it's inappropriate and gets embarrassing. But I feel a kind of buzzing in my fingertips if I don't do it.
Would either of these count as stims? Or do they sound like something else? Any insight would be hugely appreciated. Thank you.
I am a 40 year old female. When I was a child ASD, ADHD etc was not really a common diagnosis. I always felt like I was a little different from other kids. I did not have any speech delays or anything of that sort, but I was slightly delayed in learning to read and write, and for several years ended up behind children my age, I seemed to catch up after the age of 8. Each time I was evaluated for a learning or developmental disorder.....they came up empty even though looking back something was always "not quite right". Later into my teens I was probably higher than average intelligence.
When I was a young child I did have behaviors such as tantrums that lasted until I was 6 or 7 years old, and rocking that probably persisted into my early teens, but I would only rock in a rocking chair...so it did not really come off as socially unacceptable in any way. As an adult I don't really feel the urge to rock-- perhaps because I don't have the opportunity. I sometimes knee bob instead or pace....I don't always do it. But I do have one particularly odd behavior,that I guess is stimming of sorts-- I like to dangle or spin objects in front of me ( particularly beads, or chain or something of that sort), I have no idea why I do it, other than that it provides some sort of release. If the object of choice is not available I will find something else to do it with ( although not with the same satisfaction), and I do this repetitively at various times during the day. I have done this since I was a child but have more or less hidden the behavior for the most part because it is socially unacceptable. So I don't do it in front of others, I will only do it alone in privacy behind closes doors. As a child my parents observed it at times...and at first asked what I was doing and then let it go -- as it was not harmful. As an adult no one other than my boyfriend has caught me doing it and it freaks him out...he demands an explanation to which I don't have one. Sometimes it is distressing because i can't tell him why I do it, and he has at times accused of chants or spells or whatever which it certainly is not ( I am not into any of that).
Other things I have noticed are that if I am reading, and I make a mistake with a word or a paragraph or whatever I have to start all over, same thing with writing...If I make a minor mistake I start from the very beginning.
As far as empathy, I feel that I lack empathy at certain times but not always, it seems that I have more empathy for some people and things than others. And the times when I don't have empathy, I try to feign it in someway because that it what is socially acceptable. As a child I did experience difficulty in making friends; at first I thought it was because we moved often...but later the same problem persisted. Other kids thought I was a little odd...but I was able to cultivate 1 or 2 close friendships....the same as an adult I have a few close friends...a lot of acquaintances but often prefer to be alone ( other than my dogs). I don't really enjoy large social gatherings, and often feel awkward in such settings-- but I can do it if I need to....but I will keep conversation to a minimum. Sometimes during conversations I have a hard time changing topics etc.
I have seen psychiatrists off and on for years, and have been labeled as everything from Borderline personality, Bipolar etc.....but most have said I don't really fit the bill for any of these exclusively. They are not aware of the stimming if that is what it is....because I obviously am afraid to talk about it.
I am wondering though if AS is a more accurate diagnosis.
I'm wondering if anyone else has encountered a situation like ours. Am I a bad parent because I can't cope effectively with my child's behaviors? It seemed manageable on a daily bases when he was a child - but not as a grown man! My husband seems oblivious to our son's regressive behaviors because he mostly exhibits when just he and I are in the house.
Bad parents are people who harm their child by choice either physically or mentally or who refuse to seek or accept help when they need it.
You're clearly not a bad parent.
One of two things has happened;
1. Your son's behaviours haven't changed but are simply more apparent to you now that he's back in closer contact (ie: living at home)
- or -
2. You son's behaviours have changed, most likely because of the change in the environment.
If it's the former, then there's very little you can do. It's simply how your son is. If it's the latter, then you need to think about why those behaviours have changed. The most likely reason would be stress.
There could be all kinds of stressors in his new environment which may not be apparent to you. For example, it could be sight, such as stressful colours, wallpaper, clutter (or lack of clutter), it could be smells, for example cooking. Note: This doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with your cooking, it could be simply that when he was by himself he was cooking very simple food with fewer smells. Other stressors could be noise or perfume.
It's unlikely that your son will be able to tell you exactly what is stressing him out -- that takes a special kind of calm.
Stimming is commonly used to reduce stress. It might provide clues as to what is bothering him.
I don't think that your son would be exaggerating his behaviours to annoy you but if you're giving him a reaction that he finds pleasing, it might be time to find a way to stop giving that reaction. If it's attention-seeking behaviour, try giving him attention via a more constructive approach, such as playing a a game.
he is babbling but does not say any real words, he doesn't really make eye contact I can call his name 50 times and he will not look at me , but if I play a certain kids cartoon he will immediately turn his head to see my phone or the TV ,
he loves all spinning toys , and recently I have noticed he will take any object and repeatedly hit it on the wall are any hard surface
.. Flips all car toys over to spin the wheel . And when he is excited he does flap his hands . I'm a little scared!
At 17 months, your son is clearly language-delayed. So, if nothing else, you need to be working on this, probably with a speech therapist. If you don't already have a paediatrician, you need to see one.
You should get his hearing tested, just for good measure in case it's a range thing but it sounds like his hearing is okay. He may not have made the connection between you calling his name and him having to look at you.
Pretty much all of the behaviours you've described are pointers to autism but it's fairly uncommon to be diagnosed as young as 18 months.
There's no doubt that it's a scary experience for any new parent but you need to deal with your self and your son (in that order).
This means that you need to reassure yourself that your son was born safely, lots of kids aren't, that he is in a place where he can be helped and that you're doing some pretty good "mothering" by noticing it early and talking to people.
The two most critical things for your son at this stage is a paediatrician and language. If your son is clearly struggling with words, you might want to try getting him to communicate with pictures. Hopefully your paediatrician can recommend some exercises and/or contacts.
It seems sound is very stimulating to me,(from music especially that i enjoy) but i can overdo it, especially if i sing the lyrics out loud or so which increases the stimulation i get.
Basicly im wondering do you have any ideas of a way to increase/decrease stimulation for someone with aspergers, that usally works with most people. I am high functioning to a level that its hard to even know I have aspergers to begin with, but that is thanks to my omegas and certain anti depressant medication(to lower anxiety and so on) so i am always decently stimulated. So, what can i further do to improve the balance of my stimulation?(or at least know more tricks/tips how to increase or decrease it.)
Thanks!
I'm wondering if you might be able to help me understand myself better. For as long as I can remember, I have done what I'm fairly certain is stimming. Whenever I get too excited, or when my thoughts get carried away in an imagined scenario, I will lose control of my hands and face for a short while. I'll begin wringing my hands or rubbing my fingers against my palms, or maybe just tapping them quickly against my thumb, and I'll open my mouth and tilt my head and move my facial muscles a bunch without meaning to do so. While this is happening, my brain is going on overdrive. I'll be in whatever scenario I was imagining, not in reality. It feels incredible—honestly, it's comparable to the feeling of being on LSD.
When I was a child, my father took me to several doctors and specialists, but nobody ever had any answers. A neurologist attached electrodes to my head, but I couldn't make myself do my "thing" (as my parents called it when I was growing up), so they could never figure out what was going on. Everybody told us I would grow out of it. I'm nineteen years old now, and I haven't.
We always thought they were something like miniature seizures that I could stop. We thought this because my mom has grand mal epilepsy and she may have been on an experimental drug for that epilepsy while she was pregnant with me. I'm not so sure anymore. When I came to college, I met a dude with either autism or aspergers I'm not entirely sure, who does the exact same thing I do. I became friends with him, not just to get information, but because he's a cool dude, and eventually I asked him what he thinks it is. He said it was caused by overstimulation. After hearing him say that, I began researching autism and aspergers. I don't think I have either, but I'm also not an expert. I used to have a lot of trouble fitting in at school, but I think a lot of that came from having a terrible home life. I've learned how to make friends, and now I'd even say I'm popular—something I never thought I'd be. I'm not obsessed about any one thing. In fact, I find that I'm too interested in too many things. Basically, the only symptom I show is what I think is stimming. It's not just like biting my nails or something, though. My mind is on fire when it happens, and I'm slightly exhausted when it's over.
I don't want or need to stop doing it. I do, however, have an intense desire to figure out what is going on. While I doubt that I have aspergers, I can't really be certain. Do you know of anything else that could cause what I've described to you? Or do you think I should see a therapist who specializes in aspergers?
Thank you very much for your time and consideration,
Johnny
I'm wondering if you might be able to help me understand myself better. For as long as I can remember, I have done what I'm fairly certain is stimming. Whenever I get too excited, or when my thoughts get carried away in an imagined scenario, I will lose control of my hands and face for a short while. I'll begin wringing my hands or rubbing my fingers against my palms, or maybe just tapping them quickly against my thumb, and I'll open my mouth and tilt my head and move my facial muscles a bunch without meaning to do so. While this is happening, my brain is going on overdrive. I'll be in whatever scenario I was imagining, not in reality. It feels incredible—honestly, it's comparable to the feeling of being on LSD.
When I was a child, my father took me to several doctors and specialists, but nobody ever had any answers. A neurologist attached electrodes to my head, but I couldn't make myself do my "thing" (as my parents called it when I was growing up), so they could never figure out what was going on. Everybody told us I would grow out of it. I'm nineteen years old now, and I haven't.
We always thought they were something like miniature seizures that I could stop. We thought this because my mom has grand mal epilepsy and she may have been on an experimental drug for that epilepsy while she was pregnant with me. I'm not so sure anymore. When I came to college, I met a dude with either autism or aspergers I'm not entirely sure, who does the exact same thing I do. I became friends with him, not just to get information, but because he's a cool dude, and eventually I asked him what he thinks it is. He said it was caused by overstimulation. After hearing him say that, I began researching autism and aspergers. I don't think I have either, but I'm also not an expert. I used to have a lot of trouble fitting in at school, but I think a lot of that came from having a terrible home life. I've learned how to make friends, and now I'd even say I'm popular—something I never thought I'd be. I'm not obsessed about any one thing. In fact, I find that I'm too interested in too many things. Basically, the only symptom I show is what I think is stimming. It's not just like biting my nails or something, though. My mind is on fire when it happens, and I'm slightly exhausted when it's over.
I don't want or need to stop doing it. I do, however, have an intense desire to figure out what is going on. While I doubt that I have aspergers, I can't really be certain. Do you know of anything else that could cause what I've described to you? Or do you think I should see a therapist who specializes in aspergers?
Thank you very much for your time and consideration,
Johnny
I've been recently noticing the fact that I have been pushing down impulses to do certain things that I think might be stimming? If that's the case that may partially be why my anxiety has been so severe these past few years.
Vocally, I get the urge to make noises (akin to purring, cooing, and crow caws as well as a few others) when in social situations where I'm having a hard time keeping up with the conversation. I've been able to do the "purring" quietly enough so that no one can hear it. I do feel more relaxed when I do it. I also used to have dermatophage (biting/tearing the skin around my fingers rather than the nails) and have had that for years; I almost always start doing it unconsciously. I wasn't sure if that would be stimming? I have subtly rocked before, and I have noticed that when I'm extremely happy/excited I get this burning urge to hop up and down and flap my hands (I don't let myself but that one really burns I want to do it so bad sometimes). My Aunt (who pretty much raised me) also used to point out that I make weird "noises" while I eat (I don't think I do anymore though).
I did within the last year or so get a toy for my anxiety to stop the finger-biting; it's a soft squishy rabbit (those kind filled with sand) that I hold in both hands and turn repetitively in an inward circle motion.
Lol sorry that's a lot - I'm just more curious now about my behaviors and trying to let myself be okay with them. I only went to therapy for a year after I was diagnosed and that was years ago so I'm sort of at a loss as to why I do what I do.
(Also I apologize if this message is completely incoherent as I was about to go to bed.)
When i was in kindergarten i was extremely dyslexic, clumsy, i couldn't speak correctly. I always walk on my toes cuz i hate how the floor feels. i could eat the same 3-5 meals for the rest of my life. the fan in the bathroom and above the stove drive me INSANE. I have a hard time making and keeping friends. i cant make eye contact unless i know theyre not looking at me.
i hate to travel. I replay the same verse of a song over and over and over for hours. I have social anxiety, anxiety, depression. loud places make me anxious. the fabric used to make sweaters drive me crazy. too itchy and scratchy and i generally over heat often. rocking while standing side to side.
stims ive out grown but still do sometime are pressing my fingers into my closed eyes to see the colors same with staring at light bulbs. plugging my ears with my fingers and making Zzzzzz sounds. used to bang my head on the wall or couch. the more embarssing stim would be hitting myself in the head with my hand.
so glad i found this community. sad i slipped thru the cracks and was never diagnosed though. i could of felt like i belong somewhere sooner
I was diagnosed with aspergers at the age of 22. ( Now I am 30 years old.)
During the last days I read about this stimming topic and I never thought I did
this. But now I am not sure any more. I mean when I had to answer all those
questions during the process of getting diagnosed and learn what it means to have
aspergers, I was in doubt because I thought maybe I simulate and I am just awkward but "normal". I kind of tried out if it would calm me down when I rock, although I never noticed myself doing this before. Also I only learned about the stereotype of an asperger. So when I tried some repetitive movements willfully, I did feel calmed but also thought I persuaded myself.
But now I know that it is not only leg shaking and rocking I recognized that I seem to have a lot of stimming behaviours. Some are harmless but two of them are a problem.
What I did for the last years was pulling skin from my lips, which my husband hates and he tries me to stop by saying I have beautiful lips and I should stop hurting myself. I don't do this because I want to hurt myself. It's not that I could not stop this behavior. I just want to do this and it feels good. There is a bigger problem that is hard to describe for me in English. For a few years now, I often have to tense up the muscular palate. It gives a clicking sound in my ears, like when you have a cold and blow your nose or try ear clearing when you dive. It costs me a lot of concentration not to do this. Some times it happens more and some times less but it never goes away completely since it happened for the first time. When it happens very often, I get a headache and my ears hurt because of the tension.
I really don't mind looking awkward or weird to others. So I am fine with things like making a clicking noise by touching the fingernails with the thumbnail in the same order again and again. Skin picking often is less of a problem because I can just play with something else to keep my hands busy. But I am really suffering from this pain in my ears because I can't do anything to cut out this movement of the muscle palate. Is it just an stim or could it be a tic? Can I train it off? I would be happy rocking and bouncing in public if I only got rid of this!
My son (7) has recently been diagnosed with asd and we're looking at educating ourselves as not much support so far (only had diagnosis for a coupe of weeks now).
I think my son stuns using my hair but could someone with knowledge let me know....
Out of nowhere, he will come over to me, sniff my hair or stroke it and often talk to it (often threatening it?!?). It's only for a few seconds but will happen at least 10 times a day if I'm with him.
It's getting rather frustrating and he is even now 'talking' to it across a room at timeS which is worrying my husband.
Any ideas if this is a stim please? It doesn't happen always when he is upset.
As I said - completely new to this so looking for advice.
Thank you x