This post marks the start of a series on bullies and bullying. I'm hoping to cover bullying in primary/elementary school all the way through to the workplace. Along the way, I'll try to provide some handy hints for reducing the impact of bullying and I'll point out some of the ways in which we could be considered bullies ourselves.
Bullying can become quite a problem for people with Asperger's Syndrome. In fact, a child who suffers intense bullying at school can develop into an adult with major life issues. It is a serious problem which won't go away by itself.
What are Bullies?
At it's simplest, bullying is a "dislike of the unlike" carried out in the form of a regular "campaign" against minority groups and/or individuals.
It usually takes a powerful kind of "hate" to be a bully which means that there are usually (fortunately) far fewer bullies than "normal people". Unfortunately however bullies exert their own influence over weak-minded or easily intimidated "stooges".
It's important to recognize the ringleadeer bullies apart from the stooges because no matter how many stooges you remove, a bully can always find more (there's no shortage of "stupid" following people). Cut the head from a bully cell however and the entire cell usually dies.
Did I make this sound like a war against terrorism? Well, sadly it is. Make no mistake, bullies are the lowest form of life that our kids will meet at school.
You might think that all you have to do is "hold on" for a few more years or change schools. It doesn't work that way. Bullies act on perceived weaknesses. If you attracted bullies at one school, you're bound to attract them at another. Even worse, if you've been a target for bullies throughout your school life, you'll find that you're a target for them at work.
The change has to happen within you. You have to make yourself less attractive to bullies.
Next Time
In my next post, I'll look at bullying in primary/elementary schools.
Comments
Their back-story doesn't excuse their actions, it only provides an explanation for them.
Passing misery on never helps anyone.
Then they resort to the one thing my strongest muscle is weak, physical attacks... with experience and a lot of pain, and bruises, I learned to use the world against them... and you could say this is wrong and violence just brings more violence... but, I always had to figth 1 single figth at every school/highSchool/college I have been at... choose my ground and win the war on one battle... the rest of the year was peaceful...
The best part, I was the one suspended from school, not them.
Then they resort to the one thing my strongest muscle is weak, physical attacks... with experience and a lot of pain, and bruises, I learned to use the world against them... and you could say this is wrong and violence just brings more violence... but, I always had to figth 1 single figth at every school/highSchool/college I have been at... choose my ground and win the war on one battle... the rest of the year was peaceful...
The best part, I was the one suspended from school, not them.
And, in my opinion this goes from micro to macro, as in from individuals who are bullied to groups of people who are bullied, to entire nations that are bullied/persecuted. They can turn around and then bully/persecute other groups of people or nations. I'm sure you can find some examples.
Scarred.
Forever.
My first bully was my mother. She didnt mean to. My second bully was my sister. She only bullied me and grew up into a kind and compassionate woman. They taught me that it was normal to be bullied. Children of bullies do not always grow into bullies themselves. I always attracted bullies and repelled normal relationships. As an adult, everyone tells you to grow up and get over it. Scarred for life. Own it but keep it inside. If it taught you compassion instead of how to be a bully, cherish that part and take care of yourself.
I also thought when I grow up, I won't run into bullying anymore. Only kids do it. Of course, as a grownup, I ran into much more severe bullying. It doesn't end until you do something to stop it.
Bullies should be punished severely, and that includes kids.
Also, little aspies should learn marshal arts. I did, and it did wonders for my self-esteem. I know it poses a challenge for an aspie, for many reasons, but it can be done. And I was the best student ever.